My friend is officially a b-word!!! Need help with my response to her.
#264565 - 05/20/06 04:07 PM
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Ok after not hearing back from my friend for 2 weeks I FINALLY got an email after sending her a second one telling her that we're all busy and that I think it's sad that she doesn't have 5 mins to write me back.
Her email was BRUTAL!!!!! Here:
Quote:
Hi Tina,
I am not sure if you realize how your tone comes across on an email but it's kind of annoying. I have been swamped this month and had the flu and had a death in the family. So give me a break okay??? Sometimes it takes people awhile to return messages. That's life. You can't expect everyone to write you back immediately when you expect it. You shouldn't be sad because you just told me how happy you are that you are living in NYC with Tommy. If you are sad you should do something about it. ARe you sad because people are not emailing you ? ARe you sad because you don't have a job? Are you sad because you miss your life here in Ottawa? Are you sad because you miss your friends? Are you not happy living in NYC? I'm not sure why you are sad. I am sorry that you feel sad. People are busy, you
are right, but they do their best and that is what I am doing considering the circumstances.
Emily
For the record, I LOVE living here as you all know and I do miss two friends back in Ottawa (not her obviously) but I am not sad about it. They are both coming to the wedding next month so I'll see them soon! 
It p@sses me off to no end that she is implying that I'm not truly happy. Grrrrr.... I don't know if there's some jealousy there or what but come on now???!!! 
** HERE"S WHERE I NEED YOUR HELP** Nelly??? You're SUPER at this!!!!
I need a response to email her back to help me out!!! I am so bad at sticking up for myself or coming up with witty combacks. I no longer consider her a friend now. Why she thinks I am sad because of my new life is BEYOND me???? I stated CLEARLY that I was sad that she put so little thought into writing back.
Oh...... I am FUMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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then why bother with a come back? Hurling insults back and forth will just incite more aggravation and grief. I think that by letting it go, you will prove to be the bigger person.
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Have a blessed day! Rachel
Formerly poochibelly...
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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I see your point and my first reaction was to block her emails from coming in through my email software.
BUT-- she's always thought of me as somehow weak and I want to finally stand up to her and show her that I'm not going take HER brutal email and that she's the one to blame for taking so long to write back.
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well I'm an Emily But I'm not that Mean!!!
But first if I were you i'd calm down because if I get stresed i get IBS symptoms really easy. Well right her back telling her what a good life you're having compared to her misreble one 
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Puppies Are Cute But I'm Cuter
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I know, I am fuming and my tummy is starting to hurt.  Good point, I'll try to calm down.
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that was NOT necessary for her to say...I understand that sometimes in emails tone is one of those things which can come across in the wrong way sometimes but there was NO NEED for her to write that response to you...that was out of order. I wouldnt be nasty in writing back though...I dont know what others are going to say to this....but I wouldnt try and turn it into an argument...if shes going to be like that then thats her problem. Im not sticking up for her by saying this....but I know how busy my life has been and how I have often seemed to neglect friends when it hasnt been the case...2 weeks isnt nearly as long as how long Ive taken to reply sometimes to emails...and its not that I dont care about my friends...so many other things just seem to get in the way. Im in no means trying to defend her...Im just saying that I know you were angry she hadnt replied but I dont think you had major reason to be....or maybe I dont know the full story and obviously I dont know the full history of your friendship...dont be mad at me saying this...Im not saying you were over reacting...but I hope that your friend genuinly DID just have a lot going on...I know Ive been annoyed when someone hasnt emailed me back after a while...I always just hope that theyre not ignoring me and that there is a genuine reason...if what your friend says is true then I think thats fair enough. All this said...SHE SHOULD NOT have spoken to you like that....ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR WEDDING IS SO SOON.....I dont know what your email said so I cant comment on what I would have thought the tone sounded like....but Im on your side...that was NASTY of her to take it out on you like that....I would be very upset too. Hope Nelly comes up wonders with a witty response....sending lots and lots of hugs...let us know how you get on 
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 Natalie
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Nat,
It's not just the waiting for 2 weeks for a response. It's that in the 5 months that I've lived here I've only heard from her twice at the most. She was someone who I considered a VERY close friend, not just a casual aquantaince.
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sorry if I sounded a bit against you...you are too fabulous a person and if she doesnt know that then thats her loss. I know that must be painful to feel like the friendship you have wasnt maybe what you thought it was...Ive had that actually and its a hard thing to go through...you feel like you've done something wrong or that they obviously werent really friends with you in the first place. Its not your fault Tina...I dont know why she hasnt kept in touch...a phonecall is all it could have taken so for that I apologise and she is even more out of order than I thought. Was that the first email you've received from her in the 5 months then?? Cos if it is then shes far from being the sort of friend you deserve.
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Natalie
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Oh no, you're free to speak your mind with me at all times. If someone thinks I am wrong I will hear them out.
But ya, it's the 5 month thing. I got an email from her a week after I moved here asking me if she could come visit me. I said no that I had JUST moved in and it wasn't a good time. Maybe that made her mad? Anyhow, MONTHS went by without hearing from her. Ugh!
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Emily,
First of all, I am sorry about the death in your family.
I debated whether I should even write back but I'm sure you know me well enough to know that I've never been able to bite my tongue.
Considering the rude response that I got back from you I don't think we should email each other again or be friends. While 2 weeks might not be a big deal, I have lived here for 5 months and have barely heard from you at all. Wendy emails me weekly as does Elizabeth, Greg, Shannon and Michelle. So your comment about being sad at the fact that nobody is emailing me is not correct. That is rather presumptuous on your part. I have been pleased with those who have taken the effort to keep in touch and now see who are real friends. I considered you a friend but I was wrong. Most of them are coming to my wedding which is great.
I want to clarify something. I am very happy with my life here. I have an interview next week for a consultant design job that pays $##/hour in Manhattan, I've recently made a friend at my yoga class and am having a fabulous wedding in 3 weeks. What I was sad about was the fact that a "so called friend" took such little interest in keeping touch with me over the past 5 months that I've been gone. I have truly discovered who my real friends are since moving away and you are most certainly NOT one of them. Yes, attitude is intentional Emily.
I am truly disappointed to end a friendship with you as I have always thought so highly of you.
Tina
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