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Tina,
I have been there and it is hurtful. I just left Spain after 11 years and only one person writes me. I was so suprised and hurt because I thought I had some good friends.
The best thing for you is to focus on the friends that do stay in contact with you. The others, it is their loss. You are a special person and they are missing out by not staying friends with you.
It is dissappointing to think that people are friends only to find out that they really aren't. I think most people only have a few really close friends and the rest are just aquaintances. It is good that you discovered this now before you put any more of yourself into the relationships.
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Janey
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Janey
#259740 - 04/23/06 10:09 AM
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You're so right. They were just acqaintances and not real friends. Guess this is how I found that out. It's a good lesson to learn!
I'm sorry only one of your friends from Spain has kept in touch. That's not very nice.
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On friends...
#259752 - 04/23/06 11:45 AM
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Snorkie
Reged: 02/15/05
Posts: 1999
Loc: Northern Illinois, USA
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I am an army brat and the longest I've lived continously is...4 years, 2 months, and about 1 week. (That would be where I live now.) Army brats aren't the best in keeping in touch with each other directly. Of some of the fellow army brats I went through one year of high school with, I only know what they're up to because my folks keep up with their folks; mostly Christmas letters and the like. But we were a very tight bunch for one cool year in the '80s.
There is one person from that year I still keep in touch with. In fact, she's the only person from three high schools that I'm in touch with. I was her maid of honor when she was married in 1991 and she was my matron of honor in 2004. She came from out of state, had a baby about 3 weeks before my wedding...and she was STILL there! She's the type of friend that you could not see for years but then be able to pick up again right where you left off. We have always had very different lives, but we keep in touch. We're not best friends, but I think of her as a TRUE friend nonetheless.
I haven't had a best friend in years. I had a best friend in college. I thought we would know each other always. We were so close we used to get each others' homework assignments confused and a few times, we introduced the other using our own name! But we lost contact a couple of years after graduation. I haven't seen or heard from her since 1998. I still miss her. She pops up in my dreams a couple of times a year. I finally put her on the shelf two years ago. I still had her folks' address, so I sent a wedding invitation. It didn't come back to me, but neither did a response card.
I don't know. In my experience, it's better to focus on the here-and-now and the potential for new friendships rather than dwell too much on the friendships that have fallen away due to distance or lack of communication.
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I think it's totally normal for you to feel this way and I don't think it's too much for you to expect them to make a bit of an effort to keep in touch.
If they're friends with the ex though then perhaps that's got something to do with it?
If you really really value these people as friends then I might suggest sending them an email telling them about your concerns and your feelings and see if they how/if they respond?
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having moved a lot from childhood right through adulthood... true friends will stay in touch, the others won't.. and its worth the effort to both parties if they are real friends.. if not, the friendship would have eventually ended or turned toxic anyway, so forcing the issue isn't worth your energy if they don't take it upon themselves to stay in touch after you initiate things.
--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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Janna
#259819 - 04/24/06 06:54 AM
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Thanks for your thoughtful reply.
I agree that it's probably better to focus and the here and now.
I'm sorry about your friend that you lost touh with. That's sad. 
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Re: Cassandra
#259936 - 04/24/06 07:03 PM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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Sara,
Yes, crazy is about it, but I'm managing fairly well everyone says!! I still have all my hair and only 1/2 of it has turned white!! I'm ready for my wedding, just waiting on reply cards and menu choices. Thomas picked up his suit today, we picked up the rings after work. So far everything fits, everything has been ready on time and it's going better now on my own than when I had a maid of honour! My sis-in-law just finished exams so she wasn't able to help me out much, yet. We still have to cut and wrap wedding cake (traditional, Grandma made it for me  ) and package gifts, etc. Good luck too, it's only 40 days for me, so 46 for you!!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up!
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Ha ha, my Tommy is really a Thomas so we have the same finacee/husband name! 
Oh my gosh!!! It's 46 days for me. Yikes! And even fewer for you but you sound well prepared! 
Out of curiosity, how many of the people that you invited have not responded? We invited close to 75 and have only heard from roughly 50 of them!
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