Re: Been there.....
#259722 - 04/23/06 08:15 AM
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Toady
Reged: 04/06/06
Posts: 1299
Loc: A small city, Northwestern Ontario, Canada
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Barbie is right, keep the friends who respond to you. I love this proverb "make new friends but keep the old, one is silver the other gold" If they are your true friends they would be emailing you, supporting you from a distance for your upcoming wedding - BTW what day? My wedding is June 3rd. I have just gone through all of this 2 times in the last 3 years - I had one friend who used me economically and transportation speaking until she got married - I was the maid-of-honour - to pay for the shower, drive her around (no DL) etc. Then she just stopped calling. So I stopped trying to keep in touch - not worth it!! Lately I became good friends with another girl I've known for 7 years or so. She said I was like a little sister to her, her only true best friend, etc. A month or so ago she, her husband and her son dropped out of my wedding party! The reason "you and Thomas just aren't the type of people we feel we should stand up for" Whatever she meant by that is still unknown to us! We are motorcycle riders (not "bikers") and they don't like it. So too bad!! It's my life not hers!!
So my advice to you, as I ramble on here, keep the friends who want to be your friends close to you and close to heart. The "opportunity" friends will call on you when they need you. And maybe by then you won't be feeling as hurt as you are right now, and you can be just as unfriendly back!
~~~~~~~~~ HUGS~~~~~~~~~~~ I'll be your e-friend! Heck, I'll be anybody's e-friend - I'm kinda lonely here too! I've got my fiance and family. That exhausts my list!
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Cassandra
Live like there's no tomorrow. Love like you've never loved before.
IBS A 20+ years, Chronic Migraines, Chiari Malformation (decompressed June 22, 2010), Brachial Neuritis, and ??? the list just keeps growing, but I'm still shiny side up! 
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Bevy
#259723 - 04/23/06 08:20 AM
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. It sounds like it was very hard for you to go through but that you've dealt with it and have moved on.
That shelf idea is super. The more that I think about it, I'm not sure that either of them even deserve to be put on the shelf. They were never as close to me as your friend was.
True about the wedding.
Thanks for your kind words about me being personable. I take friendships super seriously and have a hard time letting them end. But I think that it's time to gve up on these two and that's that. Like you, maybe I'll get word from ne of them some day. Who knows!
Thanks Bevy, your advice is always gold to me.
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I agree with you that I should concentrate on the friends that ARE making the effort.
Thanks for your advice. I'm so glad you and Bev have found great friends in each other through this web site. That makes me very happy! 
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The wedding is June 9!!! Are you ready for yours?
The more responses I read, the more I realize that this seems to happen to everyone. I guess friends just come and go and that's that.
Your situation is crazy. Why would you not be invited to be in the wedding? Duh!
Hey if you have any wedding craziness that you want to share, I'm your woman. We're getting married 6 days apart. Cool! 
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Maybe you nailed it. That I'm a friend to them, but not a "best friend". Maybe that's all it is. I don't consider either of them best friends either but I did expect an email here and there.
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I know. To do that is a VERY good friend. One of them I only met 2 years ago and I worked with her. But she's a great gal and has kept in toch really well even though her job is insanely busy.
Thanks.
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Bethie
#259728 - 04/23/06 08:33 AM
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We are both on the same page and think pretty much the same way regarding this.
I'm sorry that you've been let down by friends too. It's not fun, is it!
No, don't delete your post!!!!
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I was just coming back to delete this before leaving for church...but you already saw it!
I was just going to say that I deleted it because I was just as confused about how to handle this as you! So, I wasn't very helpful and should just let the others advise us both!
Let me know how you decide to handle this. And no, it's not fun.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Don't ever delete things Bethie! You said everything that was on your mind, why go back and take it away!
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A friend from Toronto (who I've known since grade 9) is coming up to New York on Wednesday and we're going to meet up! Of all people though, we're not that close anymore and I'm a bit surprised that's she coming here. She was just here the other month but I was super sick and couldn't see her. We email each other every couple of weeks or so. But she loves NYC and has been here tons of times before I even moved here.
So looks like I'm going to get to see a fellow Canadian again! It's been so long! Not sure if she's planning on seeing me exclusively while she's here or not because she has another friend in Brooklyn!
This makes me happy! 
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