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Hi.
THanks for your time, for listening, and responding to me.
I really am in pickle.
Thankfully I have a therapist who is very caring, but still, I have my momenets.
Sometime I feel totally sufficent and happy.
Then tonight, my friends are all out and busy.
I'm here in my apartment, alone.
My roomate is here, ignoring me.
Ever since I told him to pay his share on Tuesday, he has been ignoring me.
When I'm with other friends, I'm happy, I don't nee dhim.
But when I am alone, I feel very anxious, worried about being all alone, by myself, and in the past, this has made me vulnerable to controlling people who offer me a place to stay, but at a high price.
I do not want to be friends with this person.
I do not want to go back to being under his spell, because this has happened before to me, and I have so much anger from it all.
At the same time, I signed a lease.
I probably could get out, but it would be hard.
If it has to get done, it will.
I think what has to be known is, my family.
I am scared to share my social life with my family, for fear of embarassement.
They know I have had relationships like this in the past.
As of now they feel this kid is great, they have no clue about what goes on.
I am scared to say anything, because I know they will be hurt, mad, and it is shameful.
At the same time, they pay for my school, housing, and health.
They care about me, and can help.
All I can is my emotions are up and down, sometimes very anxious.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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Oh BOY.
This is getting bad.
So, I being a nice friend referred my roomate a month ago to work for a laundry service.
He needed a job, and I knew the kid who ran it.
I was considering working there once I knew my schedule, because it involved driving cars which I like and it is run by laid back college students.
My roomate comes back tonight from there, he is very immature, and was rubbing it in.
He has been ignoring me since Tuesday when I told to pay his portion of the real estate bill.
He was bragging to his girlfriend about how great the job is, how great the people are.
Then, he got a phone call from somebody we both are friends with, his old roomate.
This old roomate of his got on my roomate's bad side because he, like me, had enough and decided not to kiss his fanny.
I remember my roomate would smile and be friendly to him face to face, then behind his back rdicule him, say mean spirited, slanderous things, not return his phoen calls, bash his family.
Well, on the phone tonight, he was talking loudly, acting like a big phony being so friendly and charming, as if he was sticking it to me.
I became nearly hysterical, jealous, it was like taking meat and teasing an animal.
Then, onc ein his room, I had the TV loud to drown out the noise of him being obnoxious.
He yelled turn the f--- TV down you deaf blank.
He yelled again, I said what?
Then he started bashing me, calling me a loser, saying I have no friends.
I got angry, called him a wife beater, told him to remember I helped him get a job.
He then said he would do what it took to make sure this place, where I want to work, never does hires me.
I became quite angry.
I want to resist the urge to get down on my knees and beg for him to take me back, I also want to avoid being immature.
I am angry, I have a lot built up, and sometimes I have an urge to release it, but I know, the best thing to do when somebody antagonizes is to ignore, take the high road, and be the bigger man.
It is worth me saying, he knows I have IBS, that I can not handle dairy, and he once threatned to put dairy on my food.
I am now afraid he has or will make me sick.
My stomach the past two days has been terrible, though it could be from having Ragu Tomatoe Sauce.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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you have got to get out of this place, lease or no lease...do it for your health. All the stress this guy is putting you through is bad for your health, and for your IBS. Stress would always make me sick! This guy is mentally abusive and he is not going to change, it will not get better. You must be able to talk to the landlord, your family, and get out of the lease in such a circumstance. Don't feel ashamed, your family will not want you to feel miserable because of this guy. It is not your fault and you cannot change him.
Once you leave, you WILL feel happier and better, and you CAN make better friends. You CAN do it, for yourself!
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This is not meant to sound judgemental or critical...
Usually people with low self esteem stay in abusive relationships. You need to get out of there really fast and work on liking yourself and feeling like you deserve better in your life.
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I know I deserve better.
My anxiety is through the roof right now.
The wuestion I have is, what to do with friends and job.
Most of my friends are shared.
He really does not hang out with any of his friends, just his girlfriend he abuses.
Also, the ONE place I want to work at, he works at.
I referred him to work there.
I know the old saying, find something new.
Well, I want to do something for myself.
I want a job doing what I am good at, driving, and with college kids.
I know the kids who run this delievery compnay and I have wanted a job there, but catering to this person, I have been too busy.
Since I am not with him any longer, I have ample time, I need a job, and want to be there where I can meet other kids, but not on the same days as him.
However I am confused on if I should apply or not.
I want to space myself from him, but at the same time, I should not be intimidated or have him force me not to work.
Besides, if he tried to get them not to hire me, well he went to a strip club with me, and told me never to tell his girlfriend.
I don't know if he would risk it.
All I know is, I am here in the apartment alone, feeling anxious.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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Geography
#254395 - 03/25/06 12:32 PM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I think you should put on your best clothes and go to the Student Union and chill there untill someone friendly talks to you. You need to get busy making a new subset of friends. This is nothing that new, better friends can't cure.
It'll get better once you put some geography between you and your poisoned pal. Don't feel bad about him baiting you into a fight again. It's happened to all of us. Get a paper and find a new place. Best,
~nelly~
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Oh the pain, I miss him so much.
I want to do the right thing, but it's so hard.
I can't get him out of my head.
My anxiety is through the ceiling.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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You did nothing to deserve all this anxiety! Circumstances are conspiring to make you unwell. Your roommate is a jerk and does not deserve a good guy like you as his friend. He has plenty of other people to manipulate. He's going to be fine. You're more important than him! You have much more to offer the world, and you deserve friends who see you for the great person you are.
It gets better with time. We're all here for you; lean on us as much as you want. We'll never hit you or abuse you. You deserve to be happy!! I understand how you feel and my heart goes out to you. Just remember to breeeathe. Try to get some rest tonight because things will be [thismuch] better in the morning.
~nelly~ 
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Nelly's right! You're going to make it through this difficult time and be better than okay. You'll be much happier! Of course, ending a friendship, like ending any kind of close relationship, is a loss. It's okay to grieve and feel bad, but you need to realize that you're doing what's best for your health and well-being.
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Thank you.
I went over to my friends place tonight.
I had a good time.
I really need to tell my friends what's going on so they can help, I feel so much anxiety, I need in person help too.
I am worried though since we have shared friends, but I need somebody to help get me out of bed and give some place where I am not by myself.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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