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I know I can do it, fight, fight, I can do it, I can do it.
It's just so hard.
I find myself lying down, thinking about it, dreaming that maybe if I talk with him that he will be nice as he can be.
Then when I do, the honest, smart part of me fades, I know better.
Oh I am so vulnerbale it feels, but yet I know I can do it, I have to.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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Oh man, I am so vulnerable right now.
Two things are threatening to bring me back to him.
The first is the gym, I need a spotter for the gym.
Me and him used to go to the gym.
I almost feel like transitiing smoothly from him by still going to the gym.
When I go to the gym alone, I do not have enough strength or confidence, at least on chest and tricep day, to do a good workout.
I need a spotter there who will force me and help lift the bar.
If I don't, I end up doing lighter weight, and the workout is nowhere close to as good.
Now there are two other people I might be able to workout with, however, they both go alone.
They don't go at a time I can count on them being able to spot 100% of the time.
I also think that perhaps this too, self confidence, being afraid to ask for spotters, is part of my problem, and staying friends with this person for that reason only compounds it.
Further, this kid might try to make me jealous.
If he starts being extra friendly to other people for spite, it would really hurt me.
Today, we did talk civilly.
Maybe it's best just to do that.
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IBS-C and Bloating
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Hang in there!
It's great that you're opening up, and maybe this is finally the turning point for your situation. You seem to know you need to get away from this guy, and everyone here agrees with you.
Gym time would be a great way for you to have time to yourself without him around. I understand you need a spot, but have you tried asking the people who work there? One of my friends comes to the gym with me and I'm not strong enough to spot for him, so he just gets someone working there to help. They don't seem bothered by it at all, and usually stick around for a few different exercises and reps.
Let us know how things are going,
Kat
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Kat
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