Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Needing hugs.....calling all u college people....the stress is too much!!! (LONG LONG VENT)

So, its now gona be 10 weeks this wednesday until my final hand in for my BA (hons) Degree in Interior Design. I CAN NOT believe that Im graduating so soon, I honestly feel like i only started last week....and last year I didnt work as hard as I used to due to distractions etc and having too much fun and so Ive had to work extra hard this year to keep up. Well Im just sooooo depressed at the moment cos I have so much work to do, its all sooo unorganised aswell...sketches everywhere, bits of note and paper all over the place....its like my head is gona explode. Plus Ive got so many things to be doing at once and I feel like Im putting some of them off and concentrating on others and then Im gona have to cram in the other stuff in the end...like my report which I REALLY DONT want to do cos I know I can do well in it.

Whats tipping me over the edge is my tutor....shes really p***ed me off today. She keeps talking to me in a patronising voice and shes do unsympathetic and likes to make you feel bad.....shes expecting me to have so much done for a presentation in the morning and she only saw me today so she knows what I havent done and what needs to be done....and its like she thinks Im superhuman and is expecting me to work all night....its a completely pointless presentation aswell. None of us are anywhere near presentation standard at the moment and it doesnt count for any grade or anything, they just think it will be a good 'kick up the backside' as they put it.

Well Ive spent the whole weekend stressing about it, I havent done a presentation in a good while and this is the first time in a LONG time Ive had to do a full class one and stand and speak about....Ive had butterflies since FRIDAY and I havent slept properly since then either. I had a nightmare that I had cancer in my eyeball and that I only had 3 weeks to live, it was awefull and Ive got constant knots in my tummy. Ive been OVERDOSING MAJORLY on the immodium cos Ive been in agonising pain everyday. Ive already gone through so many tablets and I only got a new prescription the other week. I feel like its all not worht all this stress.

I keep telling myself its only a degree its not life or death, but the tutors are adding more and more pressure and its not helping. One of the tutors is great, but shes ill this week, the other is the one who constantly likes to tell me in tutorials...'you've got a lot of work to do natalie' or 'you know you're gona have to work hard tonight natalie' but in a patronising voice that is literally making my head cave in. I just cant take the pressure and its stopping me from being able to work cos I just cant do it when Im feeling so bad and so stressed.

I need a break. I cant wait till its all over and I can have a holiday somewhere. Please send me lots of hugs.....I nearly started crying today cos I was thinking how much I need support off someone....Ive got nobody here to give me that....I need some reassurance that everything will turn out ok. How do all you students deal with it?

Im thinking of not going in in the morning....its 1.37am now and I would have to be up at 8 plus Im not finished so I wouldnt get to bed till atleast 3....and thats gona mean horrendous D in the morning cos of lack of sleep....so I feel like staying in bed, resting my body cos it jut cant take anymore, Im making myself physically ill...Im drained. The presentations not worth anything and I feel like taking that pressure off myself will make me work better. My body is telling me its had enough, I keep going dizzy, I have no appetite....I hate feeling like this cos Im usually such a positive person. I think also the fact that I feel like some people at uni are ahead of me is making it worse. And if I dont go in Ill have to explain myself of thursday....and I hate that...why shoudl I have to...we all know how NOT GOOD the tummy excuse is and how they really DONT CARE if you have a tummy disorder.....I can picture my tutors face now....I feel like telling her shes making the situation worse and she needs to let me breathe so I can clear my head and work properly....its like shes suffocating me or something.

I know my problems arent half as bad as everyone elses....but please send me happy thoughts...and any advice from anyone about what to do to help me cope....what do you think I should do over the presentation??....make myself ill and dose up on immodium and go in for it??....or let myself rest, refresh myself and take the day off to work from home?? I hate the fact that if I dont go in I'll have to feel guilty for it....grrrrrrrrrrrrr

ok rant over....sorry for boring you guys....I just had to let off steam!!!!

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Natalie

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