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thoughts and prayers needed
      #249913 - 03/03/06 07:48 PM
Janey

Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland

I have been going through a very difficult time with my Mother. She is addicted to prescription pain pills and has been for about 15 years now. She is 72 and things are getting much worse.

Her addiction was very bad until about 6 years ago and after an intervention she decided to start going to AA which helped her. She was sober until about 2 1/2 years ago when she found a new doctor who diagnosed her with fibro and put her on oxycodone. Being an addict she took this ball and ran with it. Every ache was an excuse to take the pills and now it is just a normal existance for her. She takes them all day every day. There are hours each day when she is so out of it that she can't talk. She is in major denial right now and refuses to believe that there is a problem.

I have been through many different emotions and right now am at the point where I have to look after myself and my family. I don't want to talk to her on phone because I can't stand hearing her slurred words. I know that she is killing herself with these drugs. A body cannot take but so much and there is nothing I can do about it. Many days I feel this way and then other times I feel so guilty.

Does anyone have experience with a loved one being an addict? If you can please send good thoughts or prayers my way I would appreciate it.

Thank you for listening.

--------------------
Janey

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This is a tough one. new
      #249916 - 03/03/06 08:12 PM
Wind

Reged: 04/02/05
Posts: 3178


I extend my heartfelt prayers to all involved. I am sorry that I do not know what to say.

Kate.

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You Got It, Girlfriend new
      #249917 - 03/03/06 08:13 PM
Bevvy

Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State

Janey, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Tough stuff, that drug addiction. My father divorced his first wife (before my mother) because she was a drug addict. It was hard on him, I know, because he never talked about it; she ultimately died in St. Elizabeth's Hospital.

I'm sorry, I can't help you because I don't have any experience with drug addiction. I do know, though, that your mom has to sign herself into rehab. No one can help her but herself.

I'll keep you in my prayers, Janey.

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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy


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Thanks Bev new
      #249918 - 03/03/06 08:16 PM
Janey

Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland

You are right about that, she is the only one that can change this and if she won't admit she has a problem there is nothing we can do. The sad thing is that she no longer has a relationship with any of her family or friends.

I appreciate your prayers.

--------------------
Janey

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Kate new
      #249919 - 03/03/06 08:18 PM
Janey

Reged: 10/25/03
Posts: 1716
Loc: Maryland

Thank you for your prayers. It is difficult to know the answers in this situation. I am involved and have no answers.


--------------------
Janey

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Re: thoughts and prayers needed new
      #249922 - 03/03/06 08:35 PM
hohoyumyum

Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 2263
Loc: SacTown, CA

My mother, my father, and my brother have all been or still are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol. My mother is the only one who has pulled herself together and admitted to having a problem and has started to take care of herself. My parents have always been drinkers and when the marriage started to break down, they both turned to alcohol to escape. Alcohol made them different people, very angry people, in serious denial who hated everyone and everything around them. My father beat my brother mercilessly and he turned to drugs and alcohol. My sister fortunately never become addicted to either if these vices but she has gotten herself into a horrible situation and is just as much in denial as our parents ever were. I started drinking when I was 13 and quit when I was 17 because I didn't want to follow the same route. Instead of drinking I then became the enabler. I cleaned up after my family and helped them out of problems. I did that for years before I realized what I was doing. Then I had to come to terms with the fact that the only thing I could do for any of them was to walk away and allow them to take care of themselves. My father is still an alcoholic and will be until it kills him. My brother is still and alcoholic and addicted to a couple of other things and he is already starting to deteriorate and he is only 32. As difficult as it is to see loved ones hurt themselves this way there is nothing to do but walk away and be there for them when they come out the other side. I have accepted that that may never happen for my father or my brother. I know that they are killing themselves. My mother, I am happy and proud to say, is now sober and supporting herself. I'm so sorry you have to see this. People who do these things are never aware of how it effects the ones who love them. They don't mean to hurt us, but they are not themselves. The are the drug. They are the drink. They are the vice. It is not our faults they do these things. It is not our responsibility to protect them from it, to stop them, or to switch roles with those who should be our caretakers. The only thing you can do to stop it is nothing. She has to decide on her own that she wants help. She has to seek the help. And she has to commit to it. Make sure that you keep on with your life. Don't let this consume you. It will be okay. It is out of your hands.

--------------------
***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.



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I'm so sorry, will be praying for her and for you. nt new
      #249924 - 03/03/06 08:40 PM
ecmmbm

Reged: 02/23/03
Posts: 1622
Loc: North Carolina



--------------------
Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)


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Sort of familiar... new
      #249934 - 03/03/06 10:00 PM
_Willow

Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.

Dh was a heavy drinker when we met and was until kayleigh was 1. He stopped on his own when he realized how immature and expensive it was of/for him.
My sister was also addicted to speed and did acid in high school. my mom was useless for her at the time, and so I was the only source of support for her, poor girl.:(

though i supported her and listened to her talk, she did have to hit her rock bottom, and she REALLY pulled herself together andis now a wonderful human being and then some.

remember, janey-it's not YOUR problem, or YOUR fault or YOUR choice, it's your mom's. It's so painful to see them go through this, I know. (((hugs))) Have you checked out al-Anon? this is support for families of addicts, and can likely offer some great advice for YOUR position.

best of luck, and even if she never snaps out of it, keep loving her, and most importantly, love YOU.

--------------------
Keep on keepin' on...

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Not familiar with addictions but I will be praying...I am so sorry.~nt~ new
      #249941 - 03/04/06 05:36 AM
poochibelly

Reged: 04/27/05
Posts: 1614




--------------------
Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!


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*HUG* new
      #249942 - 03/04/06 05:36 AM
khyricat

Reged: 08/05/04
Posts: 3612
Loc: Michigan

I am so sorry to hear that... wish I could offer more.. but we are here if you need us..

--------------------
Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant


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