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Oh, Steph...I'm so sorry you have lost your grandpa and that you had to see your grandpa like that!
Maybe take out all the pictures you have of him to try and erase that image and remember him the way he was his whole life!
Big hugs as you go through this mourning.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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So sorry to hear about your Grandpa, Stephie. Times like these are so HARD and SO STRESSFUL. You are perfectly normal for being scared and leary and not knowing what to say to people at a time like this. Just be who you are and don't worry about it. Your Grandma knows what you don't say. Just your presence is enough. She can see on your face what you're thinking and that is comfort enough; she'll know how much you loved your Grandpa. Just give her hugs, you don't even have to say anything.
I know how you feel about not wanting to look. When my Grandma died 34 years ago, I was 17. I couldn't even go to her funeral. I couldn't handle it. I have never regretted not going. I just wanted you to know that you're not weird for not wanting to see your grandpa like that.
Big hugs to you sweetie,
Terri
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Stephie!!
#248487 - 02/24/06 04:09 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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You have had so much turmoil this year. I can understand, as I have too. It's awful to lose a grandpa-i've lost four! It's never easy.
But, that final memory will fade-last time I saw my most recently deceased grandpa he was shaking and speaking nonsense, wheezing like crazy, and it was just awful. But I made a choice to remember him in his better days.
As for dealing with family...Stephie, don't feel like you have to say, or do, anything. Grieve in your own way. Go down there and don't say anything, talk your face off, or don't go down there at all. It's so personal and painful and everyone deals differently.
I'm so sorry you have to be going through this right now.
((((((hugs)))))) 
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Keep on keepin' on...
Edited by Shannon! (02/24/06 04:12 PM)
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Oh Steph I'm so sorry to hear this! Both of my grandpas have died and those images you get are really the worst part because that's not the way you want to remember them. My thoughts are with you and your family and I hope you take care or yourself! Big hugs!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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***********************
If you're not dead, you've still got time.
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Thank you everyone for your warm words, I really appreciate it. I would like to thank every one of you but I am afraid I am a little exhausted right now, I know you all understand.
Right after I wrote my post and said I didn't want to go, I went straight there and have been with my family since then (it's 8 pm now, I am just taking a little break to have something to eat). I did feel really awkward and useless every time someone who would start crying.. I managed to make it through without any more tears, but I am still very sad.. I just don't feel comfortable crying in front of people.
For those who said about staying with my grandma, she is here and staying with us. I don't know how long she will want to stay for, but we have said she can stay as long as she likes.. As for us staying with her, there is nowhere for us to stay and it is very far from where we work and I wouldn't be able to commute... I will go to see her often, of course, but staying out at her apartment is not an option at the moment.. That's why I hope she will stay here with us.
We have planned a memorial for Wednesday, and I expect to see more family tomorrow.
I have cancelled plans with girls from work tomorrow night, and will cancel an appointment for a haircut in the morning. I also am supposed to be going to a baby shower in the afternoon (busy, busy) which I may still attend to drop off a gift and meet the new baby, but I doubt I will stay very long. My "ex friends" will all be there, and as I am going alone I don't feel that I am strong enough to deal with any of that at the moment.
Thank you again for all the support, the well wishes are very much appreciated.
Much love,
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I know how sad you must be. Grandfather's are just the best!!! Hang on to your wonderful memories of him!
BIG HUGS<><><><><><
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~~~Lisa~~~
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