Really hard time :(
#243186 - 01/31/06 03:39 PM
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I am finally waking up from surgery and realizing what my new diagnoses mean and I'm having a super hard time dealing with it all 
If you want to know more about interstitial cystitis go to:
http://www.ic-network.com/
If you want to know more about vulvodynia go to:
http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/vulvodynia.html
I'm SO tired of being sick and having a million diagnoses and not being able to drive because we just upped my meds and living in pain. It's a lot for one girl to swallow and I don't want to go it alone.
And if you're wondering...no hubby and I can't have children and the way things are now adopting isn't an option either. I'm just too sick to care for a child when I can barely take care of myself.
If you have an extra hug today...can I have it? 
Thanks for reading *hugs*
Ruchie
P.S. I have therapy Thur. If things don't get better soon, I WILL be calling for an emergency appointment!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh ruchie...
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time reconciling this. I know that when I found out I had IBS I really had a hard time with it, and eventually, i ended up OK. It will happen. You have been through so much in your life, and you have the pain to show for it. It isn't fair, but we all love you very much. Hang in there, honey. It WILL get better.....
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Keep on keepin' on...
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BIG Hugs!
#243201 - 01/31/06 04:41 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Sweetie, my heart goes out to you. It IS a lot for a girl to swallow, I agree. I thought I had IC at one point, and went to the Urologist for an exam; thankfully, I do not have it.
You are very wise to realize you are too sick to care for a child right now, you have to care for YOU. Smart girl.
Ruchie, Don and I have lived a very happy married life for 39 years without children. It CAN be done. Of course, I do tend to throw myself into my knitting and kayaking, but that's okay too.
Please go to that class tomorrow and try to put your pain out of your mind. I think getting your mind focused on something else besides the pain is a good idea.
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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You have to accept the loss of the life you thought might be yours and then once you mourn that, you can move on with the life you have been given.
I know that is how it was described to me as I was first learning to accept Luke's autism/asperger's diagnosis. And frankly I didn't go through that process for real until a good year after the diagnosis.
So... big hugs. You will move on from this point!!! hugs....
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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awww Ruchie! I don't have any answers, or profound things to say but i'm thinking of you in your time of need.
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****BIG HUGE HUGS******** I am so sorry you are suffering. You are such a sweetheart and please know that you are in my prayers. I also wanted to thank you for your message to me. I hope you got my e-mail.
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I wish I had some great words of comfort, but all I can do is offer *HUGS*. I'm sorry, sweetie.
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Here are big hugs for you Ruchie. You've been given a lot to deal with, give yourself time - and allow yourself to feel what your feeling without feeling down on yourself for being upset, or overwhelmed - Dan
I'm reading a very inspirational book - its called My Grandfather's Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen. She is a doctor who has crohn's disease herself - she's a former head of pediatrics, who works counseling cancer patients. Its full of short stories of people she has worked with interspersed with recollections of her grandfather who was a rabbi who studied Kabbalah. (but this isn't a kabbalah book at all - not a book for the red string wearing Madonna types!) Not even especially Jewish - but very life-affirming. ANYWAY you might want to check it out at some point.
I just found a link with excerpts - http://www.rachelremen.com/mgb.html
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Ladies & gentlemen take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
Edited by hawkeye (01/31/06 08:15 PM)
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Believe me, Ruchie, I can sympathize. I don't know when it gets easier. I'm really struggling, too. You can try to be as sparkly and witty and flippant as you want, but sooner or later you'll have red eyes and smudged mascara.
I'm not too sure how long you've been diagnosed with all of your conditions, but for me, it's dizzying and bewildering and painful to think back and know I was OK a couple years ago. I guess you just need to accept that, but I don't know how to accept it. And I'm not so sure you can really cope that well if you can't accept it.
As far as kids go -- the key phrase here is "the way things are now". Right now you are focusing on getting yourself well, and maybe later on down the road you WILL be well enough to care for a child. Don't slot yourself yet. I'm still all torn up right now because I have no idea if I'll be able to have kids, but I WILL adopt if I can't. And I WILL be well enough some day to do it! So maybe things suck right now -- but -- I was OK two years ago. Maybe in another two years I'll be OK. Who knows?
Anyway, I guess I don't have any sage words of advice, but I do know that just having surgery, no matter what it's treating, is rough in itself, and you need to give yourself time to heal. 2-4 weeks and you'll begin to lose the surgery side-effects. Be good to yourself in the meantime -- take it easy and take your pain pills.
Hang in there -- and go read some more books! I'm still waiting for those reviews.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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