Re: Michele
#243030 - 01/31/06 08:45 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Yeah, we just don't get together very often and I hate to be the party pooper, especailly since its her 35 b-day. Oh well, right now I need to be more worried about my health and the stress this is putting on me. I mean, if they just want to go out and have a few drinks somewhere other then downtown, I'd be ok with that but this is way too much hoopla for me! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Michele, my friend is throwing herself a birthday party this Saturday. She's turning 27. She IS a good friend, no doubt. But she LOVES having parties, and going out. And I'm all for that, but as we get older (I'm 29.5), bars have no appeal anymore, and my husband feels the same. In fact, most of our friends, don't do the bar scene much anymore.
So she wants to have a pre-party at her apartment, and then go downtown to a bar. She's already arranged free cover. Great. But I still don't want to go! Besides just not liking the atmosphere, I'm pregnant, and nearly dying of all day sickness, and I just don't have the energy for that. Plus, on Friday, the day before, I'm going with her to a spa so we'll get to spend time together. I mean, the girl invited like 50 people! And probably most of them will just meet her downtown, so it's not like I'll be missed. She knows I stopped drinking to try and get pregnant, but she doesn't know I AM pregnant. I thought if she got really upset, I'd tell her. But then i realized---you know what?? I shouldn't HAVE To tell her. She should understand that I'm just not up for a bar the way she is. I'm NOT looking to get drunk and meet people. If she's really bothered, that's her problem not mine.
I finally told her when she sent an email out saying---surprise---that she was thinking of getting a limo for everyone!! I told her not to count me and my husband in. And there are many people in our group who can't afford that anyway.
So anyway, I think you should be able to say no thanks and not go. Like everyone else said...a true friend won't be bothered by that.
Ginger
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I don't understand why they don't get it either and it hurts my feelings. Its like they only want to talk to me, hang out with me when I'm feeling good and happy and they expect me to feel good and be happy all the time! 
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Just hang in there! Your friends in MI have some pretty high expectations for human living. They will face their own challenges one day, and perhaps then they will learn the value of a TRUE friend!
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God is Faithful!
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Michele,
About the party...please don't go. No friend is worth getting sick for! I don't want to see you hurting for days because you weren't dressed properly for a cold storm *brrrr* Even here in AZ (don't tell hubby I said this! I'm still trying to get him to move somewhere where it snows cause I adore the stuff!), as soon as the weather changes my fibro kicks in (I must say it hates the heat something awful not just the cold...sorry to get side tracked)...
The point is it's not for you. Your health comes first.
I like Angela's idea...take her out another day! Send her a beautiful card for the day of...maybe even go to her house earlier in the day and drop it off personally. Maybe take her out for a pedicure that afternoon! You are a special lady and anyone that gets to enjoy your company must be pretty special as well...so she's gotta be special enough to understand and love you as you are!
As for losing friends. I know it all too well. No one in my community has called to see how I'm doing following the surgery. And you know what? This is why I want to move. But we can't right now.
I just want you to know I can relate. There are a lot of people here who know how sick I am. All they do is make suggestions about what I should do instead of giving me a shoulder to cry on. They just don't get it.
It's not their fault. But it's certainly not mine! And I'm NOT less of a person because I'm sick...and neither are you! I love you Michele...all of here do...we see how special you are. We might not live next door, but we're here and we get it and we love you for you! And so does Will and Harley *hugs*
The one with party...print out a copy of the Spoon Theory and give it to her. Share it with her...read it to her yourself out loud. I bet she gets it. She sounds like a keeper to you...so she must be. Just my thoughts!
With love, your friend,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Michele
#243042 - 01/31/06 09:00 AM
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I think spending that much on a limo is stupid! I'd meet them at the restauarnt or club that thewy end up with, or at the b-day girl's house.
I also have fair weather friends and they don't seem worth all this trouble!!!
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I know what you mean, I'm 35 and WIll is almost 38 and we just don't go out to the bars or party much at all anymore either! If you are already spending a spa day with her the day before than I think your ok not to go! Having friends shouldn't have to be so complicated!!!!!
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Thanks Ruchie, you're such a dear! I'm sorry no one has come to see how you are doing after your surgery. I am afriad of how being out in the cold for so long will make me feel. They just don't understand. I've known them for 5 years and its just been the last couple of years that I've had problems and they still remember how I was before and I don't think the understand how serious things are. Aw well, at least I have all of you guys! Hugs!!
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Re: Michele
#243049 - 01/31/06 09:12 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Yeah, the prices of every are inflated right now because we are hosting the super bowl. So why they even came up with this idea is beyond me!!!! I don't even like football! Nor do I want to spend 4 hours outside, in the cold, with a mob of people, not my idea of fun!!
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