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Its so frustrating when friends just don't understand. I think you are a great person for putting your family first, in my opinion, thats how it should be! You or your hubby should never be ashamed but I know its hard not to be. Its helpful to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with things like this. I wish none of us did but at least we have each other who understand!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Gotta take care of yourself and try not to worry what others think! You can say no!!!! 
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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God is Faithful!
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One was super nice and very understanding as her sister just got diagnosed with RA also!!!! Not happy that her sister has Ra but at least she understands. The other girls was polite and said maybe we could get together another time. Still haven't heard from the birthday girl or one of the other closer friends but they are probably busy at work. Thanks everyone for giving me the courage!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Absolutely! Bow out gracefully and offer the B-day girl a lunch at a later date. If they're REALLY your friends, they'll understand. You've been through so much in the last while - and this whole party thing sounds absurd! Freezing in the middle of Detroit crammed together? Well that sounds like a ball, doesn't it? Besides $200 plus food plus a gift? I don't think so!!!!!!!!
Do what's best for you, and then thank them for understanding and respecting your decision (whether they do or not is their problem.)
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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It's just not right how stressful it is and how quickly they drop off the radar when you're sick. Why is it so hard for people to stick around when times are tough, when you really need friends the most?
Michele, you got some great advice, and I'm glad you were honest to your friend. I just wish the situation didn't even have to come up in the first place.  It's just not fair.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Hey Michelle, if this weekend thing is going to be so hard for you, and believe me, I totally understand. I have had many weekends that I spend totally ill, and by the time I returned home, I felt better. It is the stress and strain that is coming from what I call immature people. You are right, they really do not understand what you have been through. IT is not that hard to listen to someone though and lend support and love in a time of need. Personally, I think this may be a huge sign to you, if someone really tried to understand your circumstances, they would not be bothering you with the details, and expecting you to go to an outside party in the dead of winter. I think you would be better off to hang it up, and stay home and watch a movie. You've had a hard time, if it were me, I know I would not be strong enough to handle all of this hub bub that is going on.
Listen to me, I am so bossy, telling you what you should do with your fair weather friends!! Sorry honey. Just thinking of your mental and physical health! Take care!!!
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Tell them you can't go. Just be honest with them. If they're really your friends, they'll understand and let it go without a second thought. If they become upset with you and don't want to speak with you anymore, then you're better off. This is, after all, your health that is involved with this. And that's more important!
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Check out my gallery! http://niomie.deviantart.com/
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She said she understood and seemed ok, although maybe a bit upset that her b-day party isn't turning out the way she wanted it to. Apparently, before she even know I was backing out, one of the other girls got mad because she and her friends didn't want to drive to the b-day girls house so they cancelled first. I explained that I really wanted to do something with her if she decided she wanted to do something other then go Downtown but she said thats what she really wants to do. So, I offered to go over and take her out to lunch in the afternoon before they go out and she said she would call me back. The other girl just sent me an email that said "k."
I'm not sure how upset with me they are but, you know, I'm not sure I care too much right now!  The more I think about it and the more I read everyones responses, I shouldn't be made to feel quilty because I'm too sick to go out all night partying! They weren't here for me when I needed them so I'm just not going to worry about it. If the b-day girl calls, I'll take her to lunch and give her the b-day presents I got for her and if not, well, ok to!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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