Feeling alone, scared, and down
#237609 - 01/11/06 10:41 AM
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Hi all,
Sorry to write like this...but I feel so bleh!
I'm grieving over these new diagnoses. Over the fact that my bipolar med makes it difficult for me to access my words. Over the fact that I can't eat fruit or many other things that are HEALTHY. (I'm probably undernourished...and most vitamins and supplements are bad for IC!)
I'm upset that I don't have friends here to come hang out with me the day of and after the surgery. I will be all alone. No relatives...nothing.
I'm upset that I called the doc's office to get some questions answered and they made fun of me "You know we charge $25 for each question"  Can you believe the NERVE of them?? Good thing the doc is so good...
I am just crying writing this! I know I'm on a low from the bipolar right now too which isn't helping.
And I can't have Jack or chocolate to pick me up or sugar either!
I'm truly scared of the surgery. I can get an infection and be hurting for weeks thereafter! This terrifies me! (Then again there is a 50% chance of partial remission for 6 months to a year and a half...but of course my anxiety keeps getting in the way cause there are several ladies on the IC Boards who had complications and got infected!   )
I'm sorry to cry and whine...it's just too hard to bear alone. I'm tired of getting a new diagnosis every few months. Tired of fighting. I want to just relax and chill out and have fun. Hubby and i wanted to go camping last Sat. night but who can g camping when it hurts your bladder and pelvis to lie down! A sleeping bag would be worse than a bed  
Thanks for letting me post and letting me get it all out. I need support and I know you are all here for me. I will probably go post sometime today at BYDLS too cause I know there are people there with 19 diagnoses like me! I couldn't even fit them all in the signature for my profile here...it kept telling me it was too long!
I'm starting to feel a bit better just writing here and sharing this with someone! I can't be alone with all of this...it's not healthy! Thank you IBS fam 
*hugs*
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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My heart goes out to you, when is your sugerey? I can't imagine what you're going thru. It's good that you decided to vent this. It always helps me just to write it down, or tell someone. i will be praying for you, that you will have peace & protection.
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Kiwi
IBS-C
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Oh my dear! I too wish I could be with you in person and give you a gentle hug. Oy. After reading your post, I need a Jack!
Sweetie, you are not alone. You have a hubby who loves you dearly and you have a million huge fans here. No doubt you have a loving family and friends as well; you're just not thinking about them right now. Reach out to them, honey, and give them a chance to support you. That's what friends are for, that's what they will want to do for you.
Please don't be afraid of the surgery. I've been cut up several times, and frankly, I loved being pampered like they do in the hospital. I was surprised at how much attention I got. It was nice. And those drugs they give you in the hospital -- WOWWWW!
It's true; I too was hurting for weeks after I got home from the hospital, but I also got to stay in bed, take drugs, and baby myself. How often does THAT happen?!
Please don't think beyond right now. Right now is all you have to deal with. The future will happen as God wants it to.
And yes, I actually CAN "believe the nerve of them" (the doctor's offices). We all can. Oy, can we EVER -- especially those of us oldies who remember the beloved doctor who delivered us coming to our homes when we are sick in bed, carrying his little black bag, and whose only concern was getting us healthy. Those days are LONG gone!
Just know that we care for you, Sweetie, and pray for you. When is the surgery scheduled? Try not to think of anything but just TODAY. Okay?
{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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{{big hugs}} Listen to Bevrs... she is wise and I could not have said it better myself......
Take care of YOU... don't worry about anything else right now...... enjoy your "down time".
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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I don't know what to really say other than you are in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to vent as much as you want here. We're all friends and we are here to support one another. hang in there kid.
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$25.00
#237632 - 01/11/06 12:12 PM
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You know Ruchie, I am all for giving people the benefit of the doubt for saying rude and insensitive things. Some people just can't help themselves.
I am sure they get a million questions a day but the bottom line is that without patients, these folks have no job so each patient deserves to be treated with respect.
The next time you see the doctor, I would share your experience with him and TELL HIM that you don't expect that kind of treatment from his staff.
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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Re: Hugs
#237636 - 01/11/06 12:18 PM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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I'm so sorry sweetie, this is a very difficult time for you and I wish I could help more. I wished we lived closer, we could console each other! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Just stay on the boards and talk/vent all you want! We are praying for you and hoping that the answers will come and you will soon be feeling much better!
There is no excuse for rude physician's help in the office! NONE!!! Don't take it from anybody!!
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God is Faithful!
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Hi friend!
This sounds like a familiar email I recently sent to you...about how scared and alone and depressed I felt. You had some wise words for me. It's hard to say them to yourselves though...that's why you have us!
We all love you and feel badly that life has been so nasty to you lately.
Maybe I should move to Arizona and we can be buds together!
I can sympathize with the doctor's office making you feel bad about having questions....they make me feel like a pain and stupid when I have so many questions. They mock my lists of questions. Stupid doctors. I hope they were kidding about the 25 dollars...but even if they were, that is a horrible thing to say to someone who is upset and needs comfort and empathy.
Keep in touch with us....and know that I love you and pray for you so much, Ruchie. Again, I wish I could take some of this away from you.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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awww you poor thing! there's not much I can say that can change what you've got on your plate right now.. but STAY STRONG. look how far you've come so far, you can get through this.
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