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The stalker thing is a kind of extreme example. I think we are all pretty level-headed here and aren't going to be blowing up at others.
I know exactly what Sand was referring to in her initial statement, and though I'd wanted to respond to it, I didn't because by the time I got back to the boards the subject was kind of being squashed. And I'm not going to say anything about that specific example, but I do totally agree with Sand that this kind of multiple handle thing bothers me.
On the other hand -- I generally try to avoid posting personal stuff that relates to other people in my life. My family and husband know about these boards and I would never want to post anything that would hurt them. So, if I was absolutely desperate for advice but it involved revealing more private information than I was comfortable sharing, I could totally see creating another handle and posting under that. Especially if the situation was one where I was afraid that everyone would hate me afterwards. Like if I was posting on advice for how much rat poison do you really think it would take to kill someone. And I wouldn't want to reveal that I was someone who posted, because then everyone would try to guess who it really was, and maybe someone would be right. And then what would be the point of my anonymity? So, in cases like that, I would have to be on the side of the anonymous user.
However, if you're just talking on the diet board, or discussing stuff that's a wee bit controversial, I do agree that you should be using your own user account, or at least explaining why you aren't posting under your own. That does make me uncomfortable. And once people do figure out who you really are (and they probably will, if you post enough for them to learn your linguistic patterns), they're probably going to think way less of you than if you had just said what you really wanted in the first place.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Huh
#233614 - 12/23/05 04:24 PM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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You should take it up with the people who are doing it. Maybe start a new thread that's all your own to address the subject. Or go out and meet some people and ask them yourself.
But since I don't think this has anything to do with Tommy's post, I'll just trail off...
~nelly~
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Quote:
Yes, and when we take ourselves out of the phone book we'll keep our name there and just not have a phone number listed. And have a brief explanation next to our name detailing to our stalker why we've decided to keep our number private.
I don't follow this at all, Nelly. I don't understand how being up front would offend anyone; I don't know what stalkers have to do with any of this; and I can't make your phone book analogy match up with what I'm suggesting - although I did go through some enjoyable mental gymnastics fiddling with concepts like unlisted numbers, second lines, cloned cell phones, caller ID, and my personal favorite, throw-away drug-dealer cell phones.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Re: Huh
#234138 - 12/28/05 03:23 PM
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Sand
Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)
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I know your response was not directed at me, but I'm responding anyhow because I'm uncomfortable with some of what you're saying.
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You should take it up with the people who are doing it.
Obviously, I can't speak for any of the other people who were aware of the situation, but I can tell you that I considered this course of action and didn't see what purpose it would serve. I still don't.
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Maybe start a new thread that's all your own to address the subject. (snip) But since I don't think this has anything to do with Tommy's post, I'll just trail off...
It sounds like you feel that Tommy's good news about continuing to post has somehow been "hijacked" by the discussion on multiple handles. Threads drift all the time and this one has been drifting for days. In fact, considering that the thread has touched on elevator ladies and switchboard operators, I'd say we've gone beyond drift and gotten heavily into wander. And besides the fact that it's late to be objecting, why should someone have to start a new thread to respond to an ongoing discussion?
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Or go out and meet some people and ask them yourself.
If you're suggesting that Board members who haven't physically met other Board members shouldn't be commenting on certain matters, I disagree. This is an Internet Board and, although I think it's really neat some people here have met each other, I don't think it's a requirement for full participation. If that's not what you're suggesting, then I simply don't understand your point.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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No matter what the reason someone has for posting under more than one name... I don't think it is any of my business. My primary reason here, although I haven't been able to do much of it lately, is to help and get help regarding IBS issues. If someone needs IBS help, who cares if they are posting under 5 different names?
If it is a Living Room thing, then I can't see why it would bother me either.
For the record, I am only one person here and there are people on the boards who have met me and can vouch for me. I personally wouldn't choose to post as someone else, but I am surely not about to judge someone who does.
I don't know why everyone on the boards can't just leave well enough alone sometimes. We have to pounce on everything that comes along, and then have a big drama about people leaving and coming back, or deciding not to come back afterall.
I have been offline for a little while because of things happening in my real life and truth be told, I feel like sometimes asking for support here may end up blowing up in my face. This being said, while I was first again PMing because of what people were saying about cliques and things but if it could take a chunk out of the drama and cast more attention on helping people with their actual IBS-RELATED problems, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
I've always said the wonderful thing about communicating online is the delete key. I can write something, read it back, realise it's not appropriate and delete it. I do this in eMails, conversations with friends, and on these boards as well. I think it is so unecessary for things to get out of hand the way they do here.
Personally, no topic brought up here would bother me. I am happy to talk to anyone about anything, but I understand some people aren't. I think if we can all just learn to try and respect each other and not be so quick to judge and jump all over someone, we would be much more peaceful community.
Failing that, the Living Room is a nice place to come, but once again it is not the reason the boards were created. I can't help but sigh when people make posts about leaving because it means they are leaving the Living Room, but why leave the Diet board? Just because someone makes a post over here that you don't agree with and get into an argument about, doesn't mean there aren't a lot of people looking for answers and support on the other boards. I hope that people can keep this in mind in the future. I think the Holidays are especially a good time to look at what we are doing for other people, and see how much more we could be doing and it is such a small thing.
I personally have respect for every single person on this board, and I think it is a real shame the way these things keep cropping up. Hopefully, we can all learn some tolerance for one another and get back to what a support group is really about.
Your friend,
Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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I hope you are doing okay and that the job is working out...and I miss hearing about what's going on in your life. You had some pretty big things going on and I worry about you so much. I just want you to be happy and for things to work out for you however is going to be best for you.
*hugs*
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Okin dokey
#234331 - 12/29/05 11:22 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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OK, I'll direct a response at you: I dunno, what role does anonymity play anyway? These are not anonymous forums the last time I checked. So go do your own thing if posting openly is what you want. Be my guest.
~ ~ Another vote for PM 
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Quote of the day: "Who died and made you moderator?"
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Re: Okin dokey
#234807 - 12/31/05 10:04 AM
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Sand
Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)
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Quote:
Quote of the day: "Who died and made you moderator?"
This is astonishingly hurtful, Nelly.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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