Irritable Bowel Syndrome Message Boards | Dr's appt update and doggie ?'s!

Ok, so I saw my shrink last night and we had a good cry and talked. I kept saying that my babies are dead and she finally said STOP. Do not think of your babies as dead. She told me to think of it like this-just because my babies weren't born to me doesn't mean that they are dead. It just means that they have gone on into the universe and that the babies are playing together and happy. She said she believes that part of the soul goes on into other living things, like the flowers I love or the dog I plan on getting. I do NOT want to get into a "God" or "Heaven" discussion here as I know we all have our own beliefs. I do not find comfort in religion but thinking of my babies this way helps me. The grief counsler they sent in at the dr's office this morning after I melteddown was also very comforting. She counsels women who have had miscarriages and runs a support group one night a month at the hospital. I told her I felt bad yesterday because I was excited about getting a puppy and then felt guilty that I wasn't thinking about my babies and she told me thats ok. That I can and SHOULD get a puppy and be happy and that doesn't mean I don't love my babies. She told me that my babies wouldn't want there mommy to be suffering so and would want me to grieve but than to try and be happy. She told me that when I'm feeling up to it, I should wtire a letter to my babies and tie it to a helium balloon and release it into the universe as a way of telling my babies how much I love them and miss them but also to start letting them go a little.

I'm still hurting of course and sad and crying on and off but I am feeling a little more at peace with things. The dr will order some more testing when I go back next month but he agreed that we will likely never know the reason for my losses. He believes I'd have a 40% chance of actually carrying a baby. Will and I have decided that its too early to make decisions about trying/not trying/adoption right now. I will go ahead and have some of the testing done but we will probably wait at least 6 months before making any decisions. I'm still having a lot of physcial pain and bleeding and he said that the cramping will probably continue for several weeks as my uterus shrinks. He also agree that it was a good idea to increase the zoloft to 100mg and gave me another script for xanax.

The dog question I have is this-someone mentioned that they felt that male dogs bonded better with female owners and female dogs with male owners, anyone have opinions on this?? We are going out to meet Jasmine and Harley this weekend. They are litter mates and both available. My first instict was Jasmine, I LOVE that name and I just thought a girl dog sounded more me for some reason. I figure we will go and spend a couple of hours with the puppies and see which one I bond with better but just wanted to see if any of you dog owners had any insight?

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Taking it one day at a time.....

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