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Question about private messaging
      #231545 - 12/14/05 12:12 PM
Sand

Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)

I may be being awfully dense, but either I don't understand what private messaging does or I don't understand how it would help with controversial posts. Can someone bring me up to speed?

Thanks.

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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]

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Re: Question about private messaging new
      #231548 - 12/14/05 12:23 PM
Portageegal

Reged: 06/28/05
Posts: 940
Loc: Massachusetts

me either. How does it work?

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Carol

nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda

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i second not knowing what that is -nt- new
      #231552 - 12/14/05 12:34 PM
Lyndsey

Reged: 02/16/05
Posts: 581
Loc: Bay Area, CA



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Re: Question about private messaging new
      #231553 - 12/14/05 12:34 PM
StephS

Reged: 09/11/03
Posts: 2123


it's like sending an e-mail, but through the site. That way you can have a private message that is still on this site, but only you can see it. I'ts in your "my home" page.

Hope that helps!

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Okay, but how does this help with controversial topics? (m) new
      #231558 - 12/14/05 12:42 PM
Sand

Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)

How do I know who to message who won't be offended - and why couldn't I just email them?

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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]

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Well... new
      #231559 - 12/14/05 12:49 PM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

Not everyone lists their email addresses in their profiles, so you can't always email. Or in the case of people like me who work from different computers, or people who log in from both work and home, you might not have someone's email addy handy.

As for knowing who to message, that's hard to say. Generally speaking, most people who have been here for a while have at least a few people that they "know", who they can trust to message with a question that might be too sensitive for the board at large. I, for one, am hardly ever offended by anything, so I'd be a good one to ask - haha.

I think the problem we're having isn't the topics themselves, but the tangents they break off into when you get a LOT of people expressing their opinions all at once. Private messaging narrows the field a little, so to speak. At the very least, the person you message can say, hey, I think you should post this and get other people's opinions... or, fergodsakes, you'll start a war, don't post that!

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Re: Well... new
      #231563 - 12/14/05 12:57 PM
Sand

Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)

Thanks. I gather this is primarily for Living Room type topics. The danger I can see with it is that once I figure out who my "go-to" people are, I would end up just Private Messaging that same subset and cut myself off from the Board as a whole. I don't have any sense of whether that would be a problem on the Living Room, but it does seem like it could undercut the other Boards.

Or am I just not getting it?

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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]

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This is my fear as well, Sand! new
      #231583 - 12/14/05 01:39 PM
Augie

Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois

Like little cliques of people who all share the same belief going off into subgroups. I would surely miss posts from the people who would choose not to PM me.

I think bad feelings may result...hurt feeling of being left out, or private conversations going on, like secrets. Or worrying that someone is PMing about me! Wondering what was going on that I wasn't trusted to hear.Why can't we just post for everyone. It is so nice to get different perspectives and hear about different beliefs. Differences are wonderful, as are finding people who share your own views.

Okay, a little of my insecurities are influencing me here...but I can't help it!

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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!

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Re: Advice from my shrink new
      #231608 - 12/14/05 02:26 PM
michele

Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan

One of the things I'm struggling with in my grief is people saying things that they don't realize hurt me. Like some of my friends saying "aw well, just try again." Or "at least you know you can get pregnant," I want to scream getting pregnant doesn't mean anything if you can't carry the baby. Or the one I was forever getting while trying to get pregnant, the old just relax and it'll happen thing. Grr!

I think the key is, is to try and see how the comment, or topic in this case, was met. Another example is that even though I'm not religious, I still celebrate the commercial christmas and like saying Merry Christmas to people. The dr I work for is Jewish and we have a LOT of jewish patients but 99.9% of them aren't upset when I wish them merry christmas even though they don't "do" christmas, because they know that I met the comment in a good spirited way. People are not always politically correct but that doesn't mean that they mean offense. I can understand why some poeple are upset by the whole porn discussion but Lyndsey was upset and looking for help. A friend in need is still a freind in need, weather the topic is upsetting or not. I'm sure there were several people who would have rather not heard about my fertility issues but I would also think that even the majority of those people where happy when I got pregnant.

I agree, I think the pm'ing would take away from the boards. Maybe I'm too liberal in thinking but we are all friends and would you stop being someones friend if they admitted they looked at porn, or didn't believe in God or had an abortion, did drugs or whatever the sensative issue may be. Some of us pray, some of us light candels, some of us have ceramonies, some of us believe in carma, some of us medicate in the garden, some of us don't know what we believe. As long as we are not purposefully hurting people, we should accept the diversity here and take comfort in each others friendships. I was TRUELY touched by the out pouring of support I recieved. And weather you said a prayer for me, lit a candel or called and made me laugh at all the indignities of it, all of the support was equally cherished. As should the friendships be here. No group of "public" people will ever agree on everything so lets all try to be a bit more tolerant. Just my hormonal, emotional 2cents!

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Taking it one day at a time.....

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Re: Advice from my shrink new
      #231613 - 12/14/05 02:32 PM
cailin

Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland

Well said Michele. Nothing to add to that.

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S.

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