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It hurts me to read how torturous this is for you, dear Michele. You had a horrendous experience yesterday, one nobody should have to experience.
I pray for you everyday...I pray for peace, for strength, for comfort, for healing.
You are such a special person...we all love you so much and just want to hold and rock you in our arms. We are here for you...but if we could only touch you physically and hold you.
I, too, believe that your babies are up in Heaven, and when you go to Heaven, they will be waiting for you. They know you love them...they are watching you now and can feel how much you loved them...how hard you fought to create and keep them.
Please keep in touch...don't isolate and try and deal with this all alone. Feeling alone is horrible. Reach out and keep talking...keep expressing your feelings and anger and hurt and sadness.
Can you make an urgent call to your psychiatrist/therapist? Maybe it would help to talk with them. Or call your doctor or nurse and just tell them how awful you are feeling. Maybe they can provide some help.
God, I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I guess because there is nothing to say that can make you feel better.
Just that we all love you and are grieving with you. God Bless you, Michele. And God bless those precious babies.
Please try and take care of yourself. Hopefully, Will will be home soon and you won't be alone in the house.
Big hugs and love and I'm just so, so, sorry. Your post just puts a pit in my stomach...to read what an agonizing ordeal our dear friend went through. It makes me cry to think of all you went and are going through. Hold on, babe...just try and hold on.
All my love and support
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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I don't know you, and there's probably little I could say to make you feel better - only time and healing can do that (and love! Can't forget about love!).
I can say I feel for you, and could I give you a big hug right now, I would. It seems like you have tried so hard and have a certain passion within you to be a good, loving mom. And someday, you will be, either for a child of your own, or an adopted child (and there are so many out there who need loving and caring families).
So, ****HUGS***** to ya, and I'll keep you in my thoughts as you go through this difficult time.
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Jonna, IBS-D
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Michelle, I hurt for you too, but I know I could never understand all the levels of pain you're now feeling. I'm so sorry about all that you've had to go through. But please don't blame yourself. Even though I don't know you that well, from your posts I can tell you are loving and smart woman. You did everything you could for your babies - you did everything a mother could to protect them but it's not your fault they didn't make it. Let yourself grieve without guilt. You may never get completely over the loss, but you're a strong woman and you will get through the trauma. I'm sorry you're alone right now, but you know you have all of us thinking about you and praying for you and your husband.
Edited by SPASMTASTICAL! (12/08/05 11:27 AM)
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michele
i have to say, you say so well how you feel, and whats going on emotionally, and i have faith in you and your and will's recovery through this all.
tuesday i was actually pretty upset, i had a stomach ach all day, i couldn't figure out why, i told my friend what happened with you, and she was so sad too...after that the pain subsided a little...my reasoning i say this, is because we all do really care....we all feel for you, i myself feel for you alot...
the way you can explain your pain, shows that you are in touch with your feelings, and have clear (yet i'm sure hasie view in your eyes) view on how you feel, does that make sense?? which i think is very comendable, and very strong, rather than holding it in, or holding back.
i hope that you can get comfort...and i hope the pain can lessen with time. the way you explain how you feel, really makes me understand how you feel, and completely feel for you.
we care about you michele, take care of yourself....
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michele i know you feel bad. please don't blame yourself its no ones fault your babies died god just called them home early  i may sound crazy saying that but maybe God had other purposes for your babies in heaven. So please don't feel bad. But don't worry when your time comes you will see your babies again i promise you
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"Best Things come from the heart"
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Puppies Are Cute But I'm Cuter
Edited by Honey mix (12/10/05 09:38 AM)
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I'd like to talk to you about something personal, but not here on the boards. Alyson
amcgarity27@comcast.net
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Everything in life happens for a reason, patience will eventually tell us what that is......
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Dear sweet Michele
Your pain is heartbreaking. I have no words to help you make sense of what you are suffering, only that I care so deeply for your pain and wish I could be there to take care of you. I think it is very very important that you cry as much as you want and release the pain whichever way works for you, go with what your body wants to do and don't repress it. At this point I believe the only way to cope is to live minute to minute, and with time it will get better. I am so so so sorry that you have had to go through this pain in your lifetime.
Sending you lots of hugs in spirit.
Dalia XXX
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Michele - consider us all your rope of love. We will ALL be here for you through this difficult time. Hang on to us, and lean on us when you need to. You don't have to go through this alone. I know that we all haven't met but that doesn't mean that we don't care every bit as much if we did.
Do NOT blame yourself. This is in no way your fault whatsoever. The Doctors can't explain it. So it's definitely not something that you did or didn't do.
I'm going to e-mail you later.
Love and hugs and prayers and support,
Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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oh Michele! What you've been through is absolutely heart wrenching. I feel soo soo soo much for you.
I believe that who we REALLY are is comprised of our heart and our souls. Our bodies are just what contains and protects these precious facets of ourself. You didn't do anything wrong to cause this miscarriage. Your heart and soul only loved those babies more than you probably ever thought you could.
I know you are a strong person, but I know that you know that given all you've been through. HOwever, I also realize that despite the fact that you are a strong amazing woman and can get through this- all you can probably think about is "I don't give a crap how strong I am. I don't want to be strong, I want my babies!!!" And that is natural Michele. I know that if you could you'd give up all your strength to have them. That makes you the fabulous person you are.
Hang in there, and let it out. Again, I'm so sorry.
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Michele, you have such courage. My heart aches for you. Hang in there & let it all out.
Kate.
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