I don't mean to be a downer on these happy boards....
#221714 - 10/28/05 05:58 AM
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Angela E.
Reged: 10/14/04
Posts: 2518
Loc: Michigan
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but I need your support and prayers again. I had another miscarriage. I only found out last Friday that I was pregnant very early. I went for lab work Monday and Wednesday. My HCg level was 108 on Monday and it dropped to 47 yesterday. My doctor called me herself. I left work devasted. I swore I wouldn't become attached to early this time but guess what I was. I really thought this was it. I had all the symptoms I did with Noah. I was even feeling sick. I did however and still do have D really bad. I don't know if I caught Noah's stomach virus or if it is from my fluctutaing hormones. I am home today to just take a break. I am so depressed and mad. Why again? I had a healthy pregnancy with Noah why 2 miscarriages in 3months?? I just want to crawl in a hole. My life has sucked lately and I am really tired of all this bad news. I know they say God only gives you what you can handle well I think he is going overboard. Thank you for letting me vent. I appreciate all of the support.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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I'm so sorry Angela  I hate hearing news like this. I'm praying for you. <<<HUGE HUGS>>>
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~Cara~
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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I wish I could say something to make you hurt less. But, I think that is impossible. It is just sad that you have to go through this pain again.
I'm just so sorry for you and DH. Have the doctors told you why they think this has happened?
Big Hugs and lots of love, sweet Angela.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Angela, I feel very sad for you. I can't say I know how you feel, because I don't. All I can say is I'm sorry.
I was born with a very rare condition that left me permanently sterile, so I knew as a young child that I would never have children. It's a tough thing to go through life dealing with, but it just wasn't meant to be.
I think the same is true for you right now. But that's just right now, that's not later on. Please don't dispair. At least you have a chance. I never did.
Bev
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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*HUGS*
#221731 - 10/28/05 07:13 AM
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Snorkie
Reged: 02/15/05
Posts: 1999
Loc: Northern Illinois, USA
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I am so sorry.
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Angela, I'm so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kristine
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Thank you Beth. There is no reason given. She doesn't believe I need any extensive lab work to rule out hormonal things or genetic disorders because I have already had a healthy pregnancy and baby. So I don't know. Stress is the factor I am chalking this up to . Since we conceived the baby during the time DH was going through everything with his heart.
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Thank you to everyone else. I appreciate the support. I am actually burning off some steam by cleaning my house. I am going to meet hubby for lunch in a little while.
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I'm so sorry
#221739 - 10/28/05 07:32 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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{{{hugs}}}
This totally, totally sucks. You're in my thoughts...be strong sweetheart.
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Angela *hugs*
I don't know what to say.
I've never miscarried (or had kids).
But I know you are in a LOT of pain and I hope things get better for you soon...
We are ALWAYS here for you and you are NEVER a downer for us!!! NEVER!
We all love you and want you to be happy...
Sending prayers, hugs, and love
Ruch
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh Sweeite, I'm so sorry. I emailed you. Big, big hugs. I understand the pain, take comfort in Noah and your hubby.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Sweetheart, I'm so sorry. You have every right to be angry/sad/whatever else you feel. Make sure you keep talking about it. Don't bury your feelings. Be open with your family and husband. And here. We're always here to listen. Take good care of yourself. Time for a treat.
Tons of hugs,
Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Bev
#221782 - 10/28/05 08:45 AM
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Augie
Reged: 10/27/04
Posts: 5807
Loc: Illinois
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I'll never be able to have a baby either....and it breaks my heart. All I ever wanted to be in my life was a mommy. You're not alone. Maybe you can email me and tell me how you came to accept this fact without feeling sorry for yourself...which is where I'm stuck.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Just too much serious worrying going on. When things settle down, it will happen. Take care of yourself and allow yourself to mourn. And maybe spoil Noah a bit too! Children have a way of making us feel better with their innocence.
Big hugs, hon.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Oh honey...I'm so sorry... {{big hugs}}
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Augie
#221804 - 10/28/05 10:08 AM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Sweetie, we have to accept the things that God throws at us. If we dwell on how badly we have it, we'll never be happy. Oh sure, there are times when I question Him. When I hear on the news of a mother throwing her baby off a bridge, tossing it the trash basket on an airplane, or smothering it in a lake, I break down, because that's just so unfair that He would allow an animal like that to have babies but He wouldn't allow me to have them. What did I do to make Him so angry at me? Sure, I have my bad times.
But Beth, think about the good things you have that He has given you. We can't have it all ya know. While He chose for me to not have children, and He also chose for me to lose my first fiance to a fatal car accident, He also chose for me to eventually have an adoring husband who did NOT want children, and never did! So you see how it works out? My first fiance was devastated when he learned I was sterile. It would not have worked out in the end.
When I'm really down and out, I think of the many women with husbands who abuse them or cheat on them, and I turn to my hubby and give him a big kiss. You see, I really AM blessed.
Look at your blessings, look forward, Beth, don't look back.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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my friend just had a 3rd miscar in like 4 months, she is having a hard time too, the docs said slow down, it puts your body in alot of stress when your are preg and especially if you lose it...she was almost 7 weeks, and she was really really upset, i felt really bad for her too....i can understand i'm 8 weeks right now.
i hope this isn't offensive, but i am going to say when people say god only gives you things you can handle...i don't believe that one bit..sometimes things just suck....and there is no reason for it....and the loss or the pain or hurt whatever happens....isn't anything to do with a higher being....life gives you stupid turns for no reason...i mean i'm not very religous...i use to be...but i'm not anymore (personal chioce, like i said i hope that doens't get anyone too crazy on me!!) but things happen and it shouldn't....but you find a new light, and then life turns better...for the most life is what you make it (not speaking on the miscar. i'm talking about in general)...so when i get down, and i get down alot...or i'm really happy...maybe i'm bi-polar who knows...lol....i try to do something to get myself back up, paint something, do some craft, make jewlery, you know? an outlet....or talk to a friend...or just cry for a little bit...
i hope you do better though....i know the first few days or weeks is rough....my friend is still really upset....i completely feel for her too...i cried...it touches all moms of course....
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I know from personal experience how sad and frustrating this can be. You will definitely be in my prayers.
Joy
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lovejoy_22
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Oh Angela sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Don't worry about being a downer at all. The living room is meant to be a place where you can vent frustrations, sadness and happiness. We all consider you a friend, and want to hear when anything upsetting or happy happensin your life.
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I will likely never have children. I would have to go off the bipolar meds for 3 months during the 1st trimester. If things got out of hand with my emotions I would have electro shock therapy (this can causememory loss and I already have enough probs with this from illnesses I have!) 
It would be a joint decision for hubby and I in regards to me going off the meds.
While I was away we reduced the meds from 800mg to 600mg a day to see which dose I needed. THAT was so bad......I will likely never go off. (I know hubby doesn't want me to..and I can't say I blame him!)
I needed to hear this! ALL and I mean ALL of my "in-person" friends have kids. Most have several. ALL I've ever wanted was to be a mom. I didn't ask for abuse, bipolar, any of it.
But you are SO RIGHT Bev! My hubby loves me. I have all of you...I am SO BLESSED!
When it gets rough...I tell myself there is a family out there that needs adopting. And that is our plan...to adopt an entire family! (THIS is why organization is so import!!! If we adopt several children at once...I gotta have things REALLY effecient around here!) 
Thank you sooo much for reminding me how fortunate I am and how much G-d loves me even when it doesn't feel like it.
Love,
Ruch
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh Angela, so sorry to here this. I wish I could make it better.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Being an adoptive mom I can assure you that you will be rewarded beyond measure if that is the path you choose. Please let me know when you get closer to starting that journey if I can help you in any way.
Hugs,
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Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!
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That is such a wonderful gift to give to a child...and you will be a great mommy to them all.
I'm so glad you will be able to have your family w/out the trauma of going off meds...I'm not sure if I could do that either.
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I'm so sorry, Angela, for your loss. I know this must be really hard for you, especially since you had no trouble when you were pregnant with Noah. We don't know why bad things happen to good people, but rest assured that God does love you and care for you----and we do too! I will keep you in my prayers. I wish I could give you a big hug.
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I'm so sorry, Angela. My condolences.
Don't give up hope.
Kate.
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Angela, I'm so sorry for your loss. God does things for a reason and they say miscarriages happen for a reason. I've never personally had one so I have no idea what you are going through but I know you are a good person and don't deserve bad things to happen to you. Hope you are feeling better real soon! <<<<BIG HUGS>>>>
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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God is Faithful!
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Sorry I didn't post yesterday but with the classroom Halloween party and then trick or treating I was very busy. I am doing ok. I just feel numb this time. I think that if I let myself feel to much I am afraid I am going to lose it. With work right now I just can't do that. I will be very busy this week and next so if I don't post much please don't worry. I have to do report cards, conferences and I have two inservices to attend. So I am going to be busy. I am also trying to talk hubby into going away next weekend just the two of us to a cabin in Ohio. Still working on it. Thank you all again very much for the support, prayers, and good thoughts. I really do value of each you here and it means so much to me and my family.
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I wasn't online from NJ... but oh my.. if you need to talk- call me... I can't imagine going through 2 in that short a period of time, but I have been there multiple times before... and if you just need to vent I'm a good listener... *HUG*
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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So sorry,Angela. Prayers. Have you had your thyroid checked?
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(cool)
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