I AM SO TIRED OF MY STOMACH!! (First day = Not good)
#214467 - 09/19/05 06:41 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hey guys,
I need to vent. Nobody else understands. It is everything I can do not to just sob my eyes out right now. I am so upset and frustrated and tired, and I feel so jealous of all these people with none of these problems!
I am on my couch, having taken some bucospan (which always knocks me right out, so I NEVER take it... that is how much pain I am in) with a heating pad and peppermint tea, just clenched up so tight because I am in so much pain.
My first day at my new job was really upsetting. The JOB seems great, but I don't even think I'll be able to do it. I was in pain, nauseous, had D, urgency, such bad cramps.. I got harsh anxiety, felt myself sweating and then shaking.. I almost started crying in the board room when I got so frustrated. I thought I was going to have to get up and say, "I'm sorry, I thought I could do this, but I can't" and quit a perfectly good job. I didn't, but who knows how I will make it through the next 6 weeks of training?
The pain is so bad, I don't know what to do.. If it gets any worse, I will go to the ER to get something because I can barely stand this.
I just feel so angry and upset, why can't I get this under control??
I'm sorry to go back to complaining again, I just know that no one else will understand and I feel like screaming.
I cannot miss ONE day in the next six weeks if I want to keep this job, so I am just freaking out.
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Hi Steph,
I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad stomach day. I don't have IBS but I do have UC so I can definitely relate. When I started training at my last job my stomach was really acting up. It settled over time but I know how awful it is to have a flare up.
Hopefully tomorrow goes better.
Jenn
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That's rottten that you're going through this, and it's totally not fair. I know, i understand-I had an interview today and woke up at 6 AM with D from a laxative because I'd been so C I thought Id awaken in agony from that. Jeez. So I was holding it in during my interview. And just tied right up,almost fainitng from the anxiety of it all.
It WILL fade, Stephie. Please don't give up yet.
And by the way, yes, buscopan does the sme thing for me-my Dr thought I was nuts when i told him. I have to take 2 or more to have an actual effect on my gut though. Stupid stuff. Thankfully a principal I know had a few-400 of them- sitting in her medicine cabinet. She's "cured" since she found metamucil, so she doesn't need them. hardly fair. But hey, I'll take $100 or so of free buscopan, Duh!
this is now a rant, lol.
Just please have faith in yourself. you so deserve this job, and I have a feeling your anxiety is really acting up. We've probably all been there, but we can have some control over it.
I heard a great anxiety technique the other day, while in the medicentre while kayleigh had hives-the nurse simply told me to HUM. It worked. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Stephie
#214480 - 09/19/05 07:01 PM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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I so understand where you're at! I have really been struggling with D and pain, and meds aren't helping a whole lot. I have also had to miss work, which I hate.
Take it one day at a time. Don't think of it as the next six weeks -- just get through tomorrow.
Be really careful about what you eat. If necessary go to plain boiled rice! Not healthy, but sometimes you gotta do it. I've been eating next to nothing in order to help w/ the D attacks.
I also take cold medicine. It makes me drowsy, and when I'm drowsy I stand a better chance of not having a D attack. My doctor says it's OK to do this, but I hesitate to actually recommend it -- just keep in mind that there may be other OTC stuff you can try.
Make sure you stay warm, too. The colder I am the more my stomach knots up.
So sorry you're going through this. It just sucks and is so not fair!  I hope you can keep going. Take care of yourself.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Stephie:
Infinite hugs! Brew a pot of soothing tea. Pop those pain pills. Take a hot bath/shower. Get cosy. Snuggle up with a good book/movie.
I'm convinced that it's NEW JOB JITTERS/nerves! You can do it. It takes time to adjust. You're body is just out of whack with the new routine/setting and your stressed out frame of mind/style of thinking. I know you can swing it. Keep FRIDAY in mind. The weekend sure is going to feel good, take on new meaning.
Tummies take you for a roller coaster ride in new situations. They turn into bungy cords. Seriously...don't jump off the deep end. Think strong thoughts. I think it's
"e-motion" sickness.
It's normal. It's natural. I'd try some hypno and/or meditation.
Kate.
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hang in there Steph! Just do all you can to take care of yourself and rough it through these six weeks, it will be worth it. Don't give up on yourself yet. I know it is tough, but I know from my experience the more upset I get = the more sick I get. You will do better tomorrow, and before you know it training will be over!
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-Sheri
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I'm sorry Steph That sucks! I'm sure it has a lot to do with the stress of new job and knowing you just *can't* miss days...I know whenever I'm in that position my tummy of course gets way worse.
I'm not trying to offend you or anything, but have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist or therapist about the anxiety? Because if anxiety is a MAJOR trigger for you (and it sounds like it might be) if they could help treat the anxiety maybe you'd feel a lot better?
It's just a thought because that's what has been working for me, granted I'm still off work but hopefully will be able to go back soon 
In the meantime hang in there and try not to think too much about how important it is to make it there, the less stress and emphasis you put on it the better.
Other than your tummy, what did you think about? I hope it's similar to what I do...I don't exactly love it but I've learned so much that's helped me in my own life, it's very valuable.
Hang in there,
Kelly
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I am home from class this morning and have been having attacks since lastnight. I can't even drive the couple mins it is to the school and suffer through because the pains are really bad. It is only the 3rd week of school. I have worked full time for 3 years and all summer before this and managed to have my attacks mostly at night or when I was off. I hope we both can get back to our "normal" selves soon! Take Care
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Microscopic Colitis, IBS-A, GERD, Hiatal Hernia
Bethany, Ontario, Canada
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Oh Steph,
I am sorry you are not feeling well. I think you shoudl take the advice of taking it "one day at a time." When I was going through a horrible bout last year, I thought there was no way I could work. Just take it easy and you will find out what's is upsetting you. Worrying about it will just make things MUCH worse. Take care of yourself and just vent all you want here.
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Steph,
I hear ya. While I am pretty stable now I haven't always been.
My onlya dvice is that if you want this job badly enough then try your hardest to stcik it out. I still have days that I wake up with D and zero night's sleep and have to seriously DRAG myself out of bed. If I want to work full-time, there's PLENTY of times that I have to "suck it up" and pop some Imodiums and drink gallons of peppermint or chammomile tea. It's not fun but is necessary if your think it's worth it.
OR....... have you thought about applying for disability or something?
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Hey Steph....
Sorry your first day wasn't good!! *HUGS* I bet the reason your stomach went so crazy was because you were anxious and nervous about the new job. I'm willing to bet that once you're there a week or two your stomach will calm down a lot.
My stomach ALWAYS flares up when I get a new job. In fact, on my first day of training for my current job I spent about 3 hours in the washroom with a major D attack. Once I got more comfortable I was okay.
Take some immodium for tomorrow and try to rest up....things will get better I promise!!! *HUGS*
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I'm so sorry, Steph. I agree though, try just to get through the day, don't look at it as 6 weeks of not missing a day as that will only add to the stress! Have you asked your dr about a mild tranquiller for days like these? It sounds like anxiety is one of your big triggers right now. I know its one of mine and a xanax now and then really helps things from getting out of control! Good luck, you can do it!! Big hugs!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Sorry Steph...you having such a hard time with your tummy. Deep breaths.... are you feeling any better today? I know 6 weeks seems like a long time... but you will be done with training before you know it...I don't know anything about the anxiety....so I don't have any other pointers for you there....
Are you able to have your tea at your desk? How about a candle...is that allowed? That is the 1st thing I do every morning after turning the phone answering service off is light a candle...
{{BIG BIG GINORMOUS HUGS}}
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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Oh Steph! Please try to relax!! I've been there way too many times so I know what you are going through. The worse that could happen is that you'd have to excuse yourself from the boardroom to go potty. You probably got yourself so worked up about the new job that your IBS started to rear it's ugly head. I felt that way just a few days ago when I had to attend my High School Class reunion. I took 1/2 day from work and when I got home I had a low grade fever. I think due to my IBS, it sometimes makes me feel horrible when I'm battleling a major flare up. Anyway, it was about 4 and I almost bailed for fear of what might happen after I eat the dinner there. I just talked myself out of an anxiety attack and bit the bullet and went anyway. I wasn't driving so that stressed me too. What if I have to go real bad and my friend(who was a guy)was driving? I really made out fine. I would have so regreted it if I let my IBS take over. I took over!!! You need to too honey! Think of how depressed you'll be if you quit and have no job again? Try and hang in there. You can do it!!!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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