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Nelly, maybe once you two calm down a bit and aren't both on the defensive, you guys will be able to have a good talk?
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You're one tough cookie. Way to stand your ground!
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Yeah, the tough part goes both ways doesn't it?? Part of loving someone is putting their interests before you, but at some point you have to stop and make sure that you're not hurting both of you in the long run. It looks like you've reached this point already. What is love worth? I don't really know if there is an answer. But if your gut and instincts and common sense are all telling you "this isn't right", chances are...it's not. Definitely try for counseling cause hey---not everyone grows up as quickly as others, and we all make mistakes in our lives and deserve a chance. But don't make your life a string of "second chances" for him.
You probably won't stop crying anytime soon, so sorry!! Be strong and brave. As awful as things are, I don't think it's completely hopeless. But stick to your guns!! You want a man who can make the right choices without you forcing him too!
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Don't know
#208431 - 08/25/05 09:06 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I want to have a good talk with him. But I mean, he's picking up the bike TODAY.
The last talk we had, he refused to look at the future, to see that what he needs is a CAR. He couldn't tell me what he'd be doing for transportation in November, just that he'd "figure something out."
And he doesn't understand the worry that comes with losing a loved one. I've lost people I know to car accidents and so I know it can happen in a flash. He refuses to accept that there's a risk to him riding. He'd rather chalk up my reaction to histrionics than accapt I might have a point to worrying while he's away.
But you're right, we def need to calm down before we talk again. I actually think I'm just going to take off to my mother's or something til we can talk about it.
~nelly~
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I can't go around making the right choices for him! I thought he was becomming more responsible and making the right choices, but he takes the first opportunity to screw up. So frustrating investing my time into a relationship, when he trades me in for a new bike. I wish the tears would stop, but you're right, I've got a ways to go yet. I hate crying! It just makes me feel more miserable.
~nelly~
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Yeah! Don't mess with nelly!  I'm not afraid of being alone, but I am worried about him on that bike. You should have seen the stunts he was trying to do with his last one. *shudder*
I've never been shy about breaking up with guys. I mean, when it's over, it's over. I want to give him every opportunity to fix his mess, but come Sept. 24th (30 days), he's getting the doorwith or without the sheriff department's help. I'm totally not playing!
~nelly~
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When he goes out riding call the cops and report him as not having a license. Getting in trouble is better than getting in an accident.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Re: Don't know
#208447 - 08/25/05 09:35 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Ooooooooooooo...!  
~nelly~
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ouch...
#208448 - 08/25/05 09:35 AM
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Hey, Nelly, I just want to send some hugs your way. It sounds like you guys have reached an impasse where neither one of you is willing to compromise. Counseling sounds like a good idea so that you can figure out if there's a way around this one.
Big hugs!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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