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It makes total sense that he was defensive from the start. I found the slip from the bike dealership when he picked me up from the airport. He must have known that this was going to happen eventually, and just started picking fights with me from the get go.
Man, I could just strangle him right now! Would you put someone you love through this?? He wasn't expecting to be kicked out, I can tell you that. Don't know what he was thinking. Good luck moving his stuff and dog to another place on that bike.
~nelly~
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Re: Midlife crisis
#208413 - 08/25/05 08:38 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I agree he doesn't like being given the ultimatum that 1) He can't get a bike, and 2) He has to leave if he does. We need intervention because we're both too pig-headed to back down. Because I won't stand for him making a unilateral decision that affects us both behind my back, and trying to cover it up with his contrived rationale. He's spending a lot of money that's being wasted (at least $7000), and he's jeopardizing his health with no regard to me.
Yeah, we've totally reached a stalemate.
~nelly~
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So Nelly, are you really kicking him out? How did he react to that?
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Ok, I'm glad you realize that Nelly. It's obvious you love him so try to get some third party in to help you guys.
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Whoa, I am taken aback by all this. First, Nelly, you have EVERY right to be upset. What he did was wrong. HE should never keep secrets like that. ANd for him to start fights the minute you get back is without a doubt a sign that he was BUSTED.
I don't know what to say. I am so sorry. Why don't you come up to NY when Tina is here? We'll go out the night Dalia can go out!
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Thanks, Michele
#208417 - 08/25/05 08:41 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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It's so nice knowing I'm NOT CRAZY! I just want to shake some sense into him!
I thought that he was done being irresponsible, with him having a job, health insurance and a future. Now this. 4 years ago he swore he'd never get a bike again, that it was all out of his system. Now he's going behind my back and repeating the same old patterns.
ARGH!!! So frustrated!
~nelly~
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I agree! Come to NY and we'll party it up! 
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Tommy
#208419 - 08/25/05 08:46 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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Tommy you are so sweet. Maybe NY will be a possiblity. I def need some time away from him. So frustrating that my man hasn't learned responsiblity, and perhaps I am the one to blame! I know all men aren't like this.
You're so right that he was made from the time he picked me up at the airport, and he KNEW IT. *frustrated*
~nelly~ 
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Counceling
#208422 - 08/25/05 08:48 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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He said he'd look for a councelor, but I might just look for one too. Don't know where to start right now. My mind feels like it's filled with hot, angry bees.
You can't choose who you fall in love with! Crappy love. Always kicking me in the a**.
~nelly~
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Yep, I made him sign an eviction letter last night, when he wouldn't back down. I'm giving him 30 days to take him, his dog, and (if he has one) his vehicle out. I put in there that he could take his time moving out his stuff, giving him til Oct. 1st until I pack up what's remaining and give it to his (estranged) mother.
I told him I still wanted to date him, that this is not what this is about. But if he's going to have a bike, I can't live like this. I can't be crying every time he takes it out, and staying up at night until he comes back waiting or a call from the police. He can date me, but I can't live with him knowing that he's out there somewhere on that death trap.
~nelly~
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