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maybe the fact that he's turning 30 has something to do with it. (early midlife crisis perhaps). This motorcycle makes him feel cool and young again?
I know what you mean about the roads and unsafe climate to drive. The entire DC area is awful... especially the traffic. How fun can stop and go traffic be on the back of a hog. lets be realistic.
Don't cry Nelly! I think you should just try to talk to him face to face. maybe if he sees your tears and genuine fear he'll realize that he can't just think about himself. When you're with someone for 9 years you need to think about you both
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Oh no Nelly! He is willing to lose you over a stupid bike???
grrrr.. Maybe he's going through an almost 30's crisis?
I'm so sorry. 
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I know you get it, totally. It's so good to have you on my side! You've hit it on the head with me being the responsible one and him using that to get away with being irresponsible.
I wish I could depend on him!! I don't want to spend my life constantly looking over my shoulder/checking up on him to see he's not pulling a fast one behind my back. I am SHATTERED that he's chosen the bike over me. But he's made his choice. If only I could stop CRYING.
~nelly~ 
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Oh Nelly, I hate that you're crying.
Is he always so stubborn? Do you think his unhappy welcoem home had anything to do with knowing you'd get upset over his soon to be new bike?
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Midlife crisis
#208399 - 08/25/05 08:24 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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This is exactly what I accused him of. He countered by saying I was being irrational. I told him, we're both right... so now what do we do!
I feel like my heart is ripping out. I can't believe I'm being replaced with a bike he's nt even going to be able to use in 6 weeks. GOD I WISH I COULD BUY HIM SOME FORESIGHT!
~nelly~ 
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Oh, Nelly, I hate it when s**t like this happens to wonderful people! I wish that there was something I could do to help. I wish he would grow up and realize what he's doing!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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It's like he was ready for my tears. I don't think I moved him at all. Selfish bastard.
I wish I weren't crying, that I could be tougher. I never cry when we argue. It's just that I'm so sure that he's going to crash on his new bike. I'm so scared for him and he's acting like it couldn't possibly happen.
My heart feels like it's ripping out. I can't describe it, it's really horrible.
~nelly~
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Thank you so much Mel. I really appreciate the hugs! I can't even think about it without getting those big heaving sobs!! I've just got to calm down.
I wish he'd get it, too. Know any voodoo? 
~nelly~
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Ok Nelly, can you let him make his mistake and then in 6 weeks, he'll come to his senses and sell the bike for a car? Would he do that? Maybe he just doens't like the thought that you're telling him what he can and cannot do? (I'm on your side 100%!)
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Re: Nelly
#208409 - 08/25/05 08:33 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Oh sweetie, why doesn't he get it?? I don't think you are being irrational at all. His actions from the last time he had a bike are proving you right. I mean, you did so much for him with buying everything and paying for the learners permit and stuff and he couldn't even bother to take the friggin test! Has he always been this irresponsible?
At least he agreed to couple counseling. Maybe if a non-involved third party points out his irresponsiblness (is that a word?  ), he'll finally "get it" and hopefuuly change.
This has got to be so hard on you. Take a deep breath, call and schedule the appt for the counselor and soak in the hot tub. I know your hurting, I would be too. Big hugs!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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