Lost!
#202979 - 08/05/05 05:56 PM
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_Willow
Reged: 04/06/05
Posts: 2090
Loc: Canada.
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Oh, ladies and gents, i need some online friendship. This summer has been the summer of hell for me too, just lieke angela...
I'm fighting to get unemployment for this summer(I've been living on fumes for 2 months and no $$ will come till 2 weeks from now), and it's taking up all my time applying for jobs I don't want and can't get anyhow.
This summer my Dh has suddenly had many anxiety attacks, my DD got diagnosed with asthma, my sister had a baby and it put us further apart, I've been really anxious for a mellow person, and I'm constantly worrying about getting a teaching job, which I want but is just not there.My MIL and I had a big fight the other day to which never helps.
Add to it this killer IBS attack today for which buscopan did nothing(I'm on t 3 for now) and I had to miss helping out at DH's restaurant for much-needed tips...and WILL IT EVER END?
I'm the person who supports everyone, usually. I hate whining, but I feel like I've been cause for whining lately. Please, can someone give me advice for getting out of this nervous, worried, sad little rut? I don't believe at all that it's anxiety or depression-it's circumstances coming all at once and me not coping the best....but I want to get back to being me. To be the helpful happy ditzy girl I know I am! 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Re: Lost!
#202981 - 08/05/05 06:01 PM
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Jeano
Reged: 03/20/04
Posts: 1392
Loc: USA
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I am so sorry that you are having a bad day. Just relax and read you a good book or call a friend and go to the mall, close to a restroom and enjoy your evening.
Hope you get a job soon. I think that helps me more than anything. If I didn't work I would go crazy. I have to be doing something all the time.
We are here when you need to talk.
Shelby
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It goes Sept. to june, but subs don't get paid for the summer, and we could really use the cash right now, after buying a dishwasher, microwave and new monitor.Thank God for Visa. We'd get through but never expected half this much of a hassle with unemployment.
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Post deleted by Jeano
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I'm probably not the best person for giving advice because I'm trying to get out of my own anxiety rut. However, I really thinking venting helps. There are two ways to do this, but both ways help me to relax by helping me express what I'm feeling and giving me perspective:
1) journaling
2) talking with a friend (email or in person)
With the journal I can just let it all out--UNCENSORED--and reflect on what I'm doing that's increasing the stress or anxiety. Luckily, I have a really great friend who comes over and we take turns talking about what's been going on with us. We swear, we yell, we whine, and by the end of our discussion we're laughing. What I like is that she'll always take my side. She'll say, "Yes, that sucks!" and THEN she'll give me a pep talk about why things will get better. Sometimes I need to hear that when bad things happen it's not all related to my attitude or that there's meaning in it.
I don't know if I'm making any sense. 
It does sound like this summer has been rotten for you as well. It sounds like you're feeling out of control and helpless. I mean, you're not in control of what's happening to your family and for someone who's supportive as you are that must be extremely frustrating! Maybe getting back to your happy ditzy self requires you to do something silly? Like food fight? Going somewhere and screaming at the top of your lungs?
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I just did a scratch card and won $2! I know it will all work out and thank God for Visa. It's frustrating becasuse I spent $40,000 on this degree and am just a substitute. I'm dying t get a full time position so i CAN get paid all summer, but the outlook is bad right now, so i ahve to 'wait my turn. " Thanks for the well wishes! I know I'll get my EI money but the waiting till I am back in school is frustrating since I began filing in May.
All will be OK soon enough. I do miss working.
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I think part of my problem is I'm a little isolated here because I have lived here 3 years, but have had 4 jobs and several roles in life, in the 3 years. I really need some routine and stability here, and a good friend too. I left Edmonton, and my whole party animal life behind, when I graduated university and got pregnant and moved out here, all in 4 months. To not be a sub, and to have a static place of work would sure be nice, but once again, a sub's life it is, and I don't have much control over it. I sure wish I did. 
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{{{hugs}}}
#203076 - 08/06/05 12:12 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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So sorry you're having a hard time atm hon. Been there too.
BIG {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
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I do feel better, and may actually begin to track my eating again too, soon. one step at a time though. How's the fibro, BTW?
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Wow, Shannon! You sure do have a lot on your plate right now. Take a deep breath, take some time for yourself, and vent away! We're all here for ya.
I hope you find a teaching job, though as I'm sure you know, it is not the most relaxing, stress-free occupation! 
I hope things turn a corner for you soon.
Hugs,
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Hi sweet Shannon. It has been a rotten summer for sure! I don't know how to make you feel better. I'm kind of in the same funk as life events have taken a toll on me too. And we have no control over most of what has happened.
Anxiety and stress are very difficult and lonliness is a problem for me. These boards and my on-line friends help get me through the difficult times.
We all need hugs and comfort...even when you are usually the one offering it.
So, Big (((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))) to you, my dear Friend!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Re: Lost!
#203191 - 08/06/05 03:30 PM
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BarbaraS
Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 1939
Loc: Wisconsin
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My summer has been very diffcult too and the only way I know how to cope is talking to friends and walking. Writing is very helpful, although I don't usally do that.
When life gets over whelming you have to sit back and reflect on what is worth being upset about and what can you do to change the situation to help yourself.
One thing I learned in life is I have the choice to be happy or the choice to dwell on the bad things and be miserable. It is not easy to be happy when everything is falling apart around you and I hope you can take some time for yourself and get back to being your happy ditzy self. 
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How can you be "lost" among all of these friends? We all are here for ya.
Yes, this has been one sucky summer. I never thought I would find a man that adored me. Then, he died. I am finally getting a handle on IBS and find out I have Celiacs. sucky, sucky summer. This one replaces '95 for top sucky summer in my life.
I really hope things work out for you. I used to work at the school and I know how hard it is to get that permanent spot, but you will. Can you do anything at home? I know a friend off mine used to do bookeeping and payroll for a few small restaurants. If you can type you can do things like church bulletins, etc. What level do you teach? You could always tutor. I know someone who did that before she got a permanent teaching position.It'll work out, don't worry.
Carol
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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because our premier is an idiot and has been starving the ed. system and teachers are let go every year. I have a special ed degree and can teach french immersion and computers, which is quite the skill set. Oh well, I'm hoping this year I get SOME long term contracts. I need the steadiness and routine of a full time job-even if it's stressful teaching,it'll calm me down in a thousand ways. Ive had a hard time making friends as a sub!
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I feel a lot better having the boards back, and I realized now that it was PMS too. I've never had it but I think I do now. i always get really blue a week before AF shows up now. On to better days! 
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I have found I've been making things much bigger than need be, and I'm definitely working on that. I'm spending lots of time chatting on here, which helps my isolation, and I definitely write, and walk lots!
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Thanks, you're right, I'm not lost with all these friends!
Wow, you've had a really rough summer, poor doll.
As far as teaching goes, as sooon as Sept. rolls around, I know I'll be working 4-5 days a week and I'll be better. It's just the 2 months off in the summer, when you'd expected the government to help you out, that was a shocker. I am working at DH's restaurant undercover 2 days a week and make 50-90 in tips each time, so it's OK, but it's def. not comfortable. I thought of tutoring but then we'd had so much happen this summer, and DD and I are going to a church camp in a week, for 10 days. Exciting!
I did qualify for unemployment but am now forced to apply for jobs that I neither want, nor will anyone hire me for 2 weeks, LOL!
Like I said, September will definitely switch me up big time.
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Our previous premier was the devil incarnate and the new one is a numbskull. So many cutbacks. We were running a music department on a $0. budget. No books, no repairs, nothing. We had to do it all ourselves. 1 set of books for over 13 classes. I have a Spec. ed specialist, too. I loved working in resource, but it's been cut to the bone, too. Those poor kids are sitting there suffering. Sigh.
I hope something will come along for you. Best, Alicia.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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the thing that breaks my heart is that I'm so in love with teaching, and I know I'd do a class really proud, and they so NEED more teachers. our premier has a grade 9 education, and look who he became? He is arrogant, backwoodsy and the rednecks here(which there's a lot of) love him.
you ran a music program on NOTHING? Whoa!! I hope this years budget is substantially more! 
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