Feeling really bad
#200370 - 07/28/05 09:45 AM
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I found out this am that lamictal is NOt for anxiety but simply for mood. I had forgotten that the psych. thought it best to treat the bipolar first and then see what is left (anxiety, OCD, ADD). So I called hubby and he was like "You said you wouldn't do this. You're making us both miserable. Don't you have anything better to do?" I was crushed.
THEN our landlord who happens to be a guy my age in our community who has been REALLY in our business, esp. mine (for example he was trying to find out where we live so he could bring me some oil earlier in the year when I was sooo sick with fibro), asked hubby when I'd be home! And my husband said he didn't know my shcedule but he knew I'd be out in the afternoon.
Hubby wrote to me about the guy wanting to coe over to talk to me in an e-mail. HE DIDN'T PROTECT ME! He didn't tell the guy he thought it was weird he wanted to see his wife. We don't do this in our circles...it is against our religion.
Hubby told me I have to take care of it even though he knows how anxious the whole thing makes me.
I feel like I've married someone who will not stand up for me or protect me.
I feel VERY unsafe right now.
And I am FEELING suicidal.
I'm VERY upset. I know it wil pass. But what do I do about hubby?
Maybe he's just tired of living with someone who is so needy? I've asked him a zillion times if he wants a divorce. And he says no. And I do believe he loves me.
Now I have no clue how to handle this guy. I'm SO TIRED of him butting into our lives! His fam owns a store here And i won't step foot there cause of him AND cause we can't afford to shop there. If he wants to know why I'm not shopping there, too bad! Why should I tell him we are TOO POOR to go to his store? I don't want his pity!
I wasn't going to post. Because after hubby's behavior I'm afraid of driving everyone away. But you have all told me over and over I don't take up too much board space...I hope you meant it 
Thanks for reading, Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ruchie,
I'm sorry you are feeling so upset. Are you really feeling suicidal? You need to call your doctor or your rabbi and talk to them. Forgive your hubby -- he's no better equipped to handle this than you are, and you know it's a difficult situation. Of course he loves you and wants to help and protect you, you both just need to learn how to deal with this. Let us know how you are doing!
Panda
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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*lots of HUGS*
Maybe hubby's just having a bad day and is stressed. Do you have a peephole in your front door? If that guy stops by, don't answer the door. I agree that he's creepy. Avoid him if at all possible.
When hubby gets home, tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you don't feel safe, and that you were crushed by what he said earlier, and you're hurt that he wouldn't stick up for you with this creepy guy. He may not realize what he's inadvertantly doing.
*HUGS* You know we're here for you whenever you need us!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Is the guy who is trying to contact you part of your religious community? If he isn't, or if he's more liberal, he probably just doesn't realize he's not supposed to contact you. Also, I'm sure he has no idea how anxious he is making you! This is a case of someone "meaning well" while wreaking havoc!
Take a deep breath, Sweetie. I firmly believe that once those meds kick in you are going to feel so much better! I know it'll be a while, but just try to hang tight, okay? (Even though they don't specifically treat anxiety, they will improve your overall mental health, so I think you'll be less anxious.)
As for your hubby, he is probably less anxious than you in general, so he knows the landlord means well, and he doesn't share your fear, so he's having a moment where he's not being very sensitive. Of course he loves you, Sweetie.
We're all here for you. Please promise that if you think you might actually hurt yourself that you will call the police, okay?
Big hugs!!! Do some breathing to help yourself relax, and let this panic pass.
We love you!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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I agree with Melissa and Amanda... hubby is only human, after all, and he probably is having a bad day, stressed, didn't realize how what he said was going to make you feel, etc. We're all guilty of stuff like that from time to time, unfortunately. 
Talk to him when he gets home, so he knows how you feel. In my experience with men (sorry guys!), they really don't know most of the time when they've said something out of line. And I'm with Melissa - if that guy shows up, just don't answer the door, if there's any way you get around it.
Good luck! *hugs*
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Amanda Panda, So I will tell my therapist what is going on. The suicidal feelings passed (they always do). But I'm still really upset.  I hope these meds don't take too long to work....
Melissa, yes I think he's creepy too at this point! And I think I just might tell hubby how I feel when he gets home. It's not normal for a guy to want to come over to talk to me...I'm MARRIED and it's just too weird! He could call if he needed to...thanks for understanding *hugs*
P.S. I do NOT need to feel unsafe OR to be abused again, PERIOD!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Rache, if you feel unsafe, tell your hubbie when he gets home. Work out an agreement about visitors and what you expect from him regarding preotecting you.
Don't answer the door as everyone has said. I don't know the whole story but if he planned on doing something bad, would he have asked your hubbie what your schedule was? But women's intuition is often right. If he's creepy, stay away from him!
Please give yourself a hug and I hope your therapist helps you out today!
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He's possible just concerned. When I wasn't showing up at the store cause I was sick earlier in the year, he was asking people for my address so he could bring me this oil. I had been avoiding his store then because I was so uncomfortable. Finally I went and took his oil. ever since he has been asking me advce on marriage and personal things about hubby. he praises me to the skies and it ISN'T RIGHT! And now he probably wants to come over to find out why I haven't been at the store. A proper fellow would ASK MY HUSBAND, NOT ME! This is not okay! Not at all! I wil not speak to him on the phone nore will I answer the door for him. He is TOO interested in me and my whereabouts. It's nice to have a community member care...but he should ASK MY HUSBAND about me. It DOES put me off...and make me feel uncomfrotable. And yes, even a bit unsafe. He also will not tell us how to contact maintenance in our building because he has money and doesn't want anyone to know for when it is time for him to get married. There is DEFINATELY something not right! He has to come with a maintenance man if something needs fixing. It's just WEIRD! And hubby says/does nothing.
NOW he wants to come over and TALK TO ME, ALONE? No THANKS!
Sorry so long....
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh yes, sis. Great instincts, my dear. He IS creepy. WAY too concerned with you. Please stay away from him.
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Is this guy a member of your religious community or does he know your rules? I have absolutely no problem with male friends and spending time alone with male visitors, even though I'm married, and in fact I would get really annoyed if someone only sent messages to me through my husband. That's just because I'm not of your faith (and I didn't know there was a faith where these rules still existed, other than places like Saudi Arabia. I guess I was really ignorant). I'm not saying you should hang out with this guy or answer the door if you don't feel comfortable, but maybe it's not the worst case scenario?
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