All Boards >> The Living Room

Posts     Flat       Threaded

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (show all)
Feeling really bad
      #200370 - 07/28/05 09:45 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

I found out this am that lamictal is NOt for anxiety but simply for mood. I had forgotten that the psych. thought it best to treat the bipolar first and then see what is left (anxiety, OCD, ADD). So I called hubby and he was like "You said you wouldn't do this. You're making us both miserable. Don't you have anything better to do?" I was crushed.

THEN our landlord who happens to be a guy my age in our community who has been REALLY in our business, esp. mine (for example he was trying to find out where we live so he could bring me some oil earlier in the year when I was sooo sick with fibro), asked hubby when I'd be home! And my husband said he didn't know my shcedule but he knew I'd be out in the afternoon.

Hubby wrote to me about the guy wanting to coe over to talk to me in an e-mail. HE DIDN'T PROTECT ME! He didn't tell the guy he thought it was weird he wanted to see his wife. We don't do this in our circles...it is against our religion.

Hubby told me I have to take care of it even though he knows how anxious the whole thing makes me.

I feel like I've married someone who will not stand up for me or protect me.

I feel VERY unsafe right now.

And I am FEELING suicidal.

I'm VERY upset. I know it wil pass. But what do I do about hubby?

Maybe he's just tired of living with someone who is so needy? I've asked him a zillion times if he wants a divorce. And he says no. And I do believe he loves me.

Now I have no clue how to handle this guy. I'm SO TIRED of him butting into our lives! His fam owns a store here And i won't step foot there cause of him AND cause we can't afford to shop there. If he wants to know why I'm not shopping there, too bad! Why should I tell him we are TOO POOR to go to his store? I don't want his pity!

I wasn't going to post. Because after hubby's behavior I'm afraid of driving everyone away. But you have all told me over and over I don't take up too much board space...I hope you meant it

Thanks for reading, Ruchie

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Feeling really bad new
      #200375 - 07/28/05 09:50 AM
AmandaPanda, J.D.

Reged: 04/26/04
Posts: 1490
Loc: New York, New York

Ruchie,
I'm sorry you are feeling so upset. Are you really feeling suicidal? You need to call your doctor or your rabbi and talk to them. Forgive your hubby -- he's no better equipped to handle this than you are, and you know it's a difficult situation. Of course he loves you and wants to help and protect you, you both just need to learn how to deal with this. Let us know how you are doing!
Panda

--------------------
Amanda

I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Feeling really bad new
      #200377 - 07/28/05 09:51 AM
melitami

Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)

*lots of HUGS*

Maybe hubby's just having a bad day and is stressed. Do you have a peephole in your front door? If that guy stops by, don't answer the door. I agree that he's creepy. Avoid him if at all possible.

When hubby gets home, tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you don't feel safe, and that you were crushed by what he said earlier, and you're hurt that he wouldn't stick up for you with this creepy guy. He may not realize what he's inadvertantly doing.

*HUGS* You know we're here for you whenever you need us!

--------------------
Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Ruchie... new
      #200381 - 07/28/05 09:56 AM
ChristineM

Reged: 05/31/04
Posts: 1662
Loc: soCal

Is the guy who is trying to contact you part of your religious community? If he isn't, or if he's more liberal, he probably just doesn't realize he's not supposed to contact you. Also, I'm sure he has no idea how anxious he is making you! This is a case of someone "meaning well" while wreaking havoc!

Take a deep breath, Sweetie. I firmly believe that once those meds kick in you are going to feel so much better! I know it'll be a while, but just try to hang tight, okay? (Even though they don't specifically treat anxiety, they will improve your overall mental health, so I think you'll be less anxious.)

As for your hubby, he is probably less anxious than you in general, so he knows the landlord means well, and he doesn't share your fear, so he's having a moment where he's not being very sensitive. Of course he loves you, Sweetie.

We're all here for you. Please promise that if you think you might actually hurt yourself that you will call the police, okay?

Big hugs!!! Do some breathing to help yourself relax, and let this panic pass.

We love you!

--------------------
Christine

Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Feeling really bad new
      #200383 - 07/28/05 09:56 AM
atomic rose

Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)

I agree with Melissa and Amanda... hubby is only human, after all, and he probably is having a bad day, stressed, didn't realize how what he said was going to make you feel, etc. We're all guilty of stuff like that from time to time, unfortunately.

Talk to him when he gets home, so he knows how you feel. In my experience with men (sorry guys!), they really don't know most of the time when they've said something out of line. And I'm with Melissa - if that guy shows up, just don't answer the door, if there's any way you get around it.

Good luck! *hugs*

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

I have therapy in 2 hours... new
      #200386 - 07/28/05 09:59 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

Amanda Panda, So I will tell my therapist what is going on. The suicidal feelings passed (they always do). But I'm still really upset. I hope these meds don't take too long to work....

Melissa, yes I think he's creepy too at this point! And I think I just might tell hubby how I feel when he gets home. It's not normal for a guy to want to come over to talk to me...I'm MARRIED and it's just too weird! He could call if he needed to...thanks for understanding *hugs*

P.S. I do NOT need to feel unsafe OR to be abused again, PERIOD!



--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: I have therapy in 2 hours... new
      #200392 - 07/28/05 10:07 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Rache, if you feel unsafe, tell your hubbie when he gets home. Work out an agreement about visitors and what you expect from him regarding preotecting you.

Don't answer the door as everyone has said. I don't know the whole story but if he planned on doing something bad, would he have asked your hubbie what your schedule was? But women's intuition is often right. If he's creepy, stay away from him!

Please give yourself a hug and I hope your therapist helps you out today!


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

The full story on why I feel unsafe/weirded out new
      #200394 - 07/28/05 10:13 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

He's possible just concerned. When I wasn't showing up at the store cause I was sick earlier in the year, he was asking people for my address so he could bring me this oil. I had been avoiding his store then because I was so uncomfortable. Finally I went and took his oil. ever since he has been asking me advce on marriage and personal things about hubby. he praises me to the skies and it ISN'T RIGHT! And now he probably wants to come over to find out why I haven't been at the store. A proper fellow would ASK MY HUSBAND, NOT ME! This is not okay! Not at all! I wil not speak to him on the phone nore will I answer the door for him. He is TOO interested in me and my whereabouts. It's nice to have a community member care...but he should ASK MY HUSBAND about me. It DOES put me off...and make me feel uncomfrotable. And yes, even a bit unsafe. He also will not tell us how to contact maintenance in our building because he has money and doesn't want anyone to know for when it is time for him to get married. There is DEFINATELY something not right! He has to come with a maintenance man if something needs fixing. It's just WEIRD! And hubby says/does nothing.

NOW he wants to come over and TALK TO ME, ALONE? No THANKS!

Sorry so long....

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: The full story on why I feel unsafe/weirded out new
      #200397 - 07/28/05 10:18 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Oh yes, sis. Great instincts, my dear. He IS creepy. WAY too concerned with you. Please stay away from him.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Ruche... like they asked... new
      #200398 - 07/28/05 10:20 AM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439


Is this guy a member of your religious community or does he know your rules? I have absolutely no problem with male friends and spending time alone with male visitors, even though I'm married, and in fact I would get really annoyed if someone only sent messages to me through my husband. That's just because I'm not of your faith (and I didn't know there was a faith where these rules still existed, other than places like Saudi Arabia. I guess I was really ignorant). I'm not saying you should hang out with this guy or answer the door if you don't feel comfortable, but maybe it's not the worst case scenario?

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: The full story on why I feel unsafe/weirded out new
      #200401 - 07/28/05 10:21 AM
ChristineM

Reged: 05/31/04
Posts: 1662
Loc: soCal

His interest in you is a bit odd, I agree. Trust your instincts. Avoid him! Eventually, he'll figure it out and leave you alone.

--------------------
Christine

Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Ruche... like they asked... new
      #200402 - 07/28/05 10:25 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

Yes, he IS a member of the community. BUt his cusatoms are a bit different as he is Sefard and I am Ashkenaz (long story). he's been told by a woman in the community that it is NOT PROPER for him to be friends with me the way he wants to. But he didn't listen (forgot that part earlier)... and I've indicated subtly, by telling him SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND that it isn't proper to me either. PLUS one day he came over with a maintenance guy AND hubby was home. Hubby followed the maintenance guy and this guy followed me to the kitchen! Hubby found this guy in the kitchen shmoozing it up with me...and did/said nothing knowing perfectly well how
I feel. Well, I followed hubby and inored the guy and he still doesn't get it!!! I'm NOT in a good position right now with seting limits/boundaries as this is something I will be working on in therapy. it is NOt a skill I have now. Maybe my therapist can give me pointers today.BUT even though this guy doesn't follow our customs, he KNOWS about them...and he SHOULD respect them. It's not like he is in the dark. I KNOW I have to work on my boundaries...but he HAS bee told, and I do NOT trust him...

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Ruche... like they asked... new
      #200409 - 07/28/05 10:33 AM
ChristineM

Reged: 05/31/04
Posts: 1662
Loc: soCal

Ruchie,

If he's been told, then there's no excuse. If you don't feel comfortable telling him off, maybe talk to hubby about it again tonight. In the meantime, avoid, avoid, avoid.

Feel better soon! Hugs!

--------------------
Christine

Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Yep, I agree exactly with what Christine said. new
      #200415 - 07/28/05 10:41 AM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439


Sorry you're having to deal with this right now Ruch. Hang in there. You're taking lots of positive steps to feel better, and be able to set these boundaries. Keep focusing on feeling well and ignore and avoid the weird shopkeepers serving as distractions.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

I just spoke to my Rabbi... new
      #200420 - 07/28/05 10:43 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

And he couldn't believe the guy was part of the community...even with the differing customs, it is totaly inappropriate!

He told me to write the guy a letter and he would touch it up for me to mail to the guy at the store.

If I could muster up the courage, I should simply tell him "I'm married, and there are boundaries. Saying helle with a smile is one thing, and neccesary talk another. Please do not call me unless necessary and if it can be discussed with my husband, that is best. Thank you."

I wish I weren't too chicken to stand up for myself!

But yes, even my Rabbi thinks this guy recognizes my vulnerabilities and is playing on them. SO UNCOOL!

I am so tired of living here

Thanks for all your help/advice/support everyone *hugs*

I hope one day I feel safe...and can stand up for myself, please G-d!!

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

On the plus side... new
      #200422 - 07/28/05 10:44 AM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439


I just looked up your religion, and apparently your section has the highest average IQ of any ethnic group in existence. That's pretty cool.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

ROTFL and a P.S. new
      #200424 - 07/28/05 10:47 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

Really Jenny? I must admit I'm not a part of that statistic!!! What did I say about creativity...I'd fit in there

Jenny, thanks for making me smile *big hugs* You're right I AM making positive steps towards healing I DON'T need anyone knocking me down!!!

P.S. It just ocurred to me...even if it had nothing to do with our religious beliefs...if someone makes me uncomfortable, I have EVERY RIGHT to set limits/boundaries! That is my choice! What an exciting revelation!!!

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

But he IS our landlord... new
      #200425 - 07/28/05 10:50 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

what if I upset him? And hubby might get mad thinking I'm overeacting...

Ugh! now I feel guilty! The same way I did when I was raped...

Like it was my fault.

I'm sooo glad I have therapy soon....

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: ROTFL and a P.S. new
      #200426 - 07/28/05 10:52 AM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439


From wikipedia

"IQ
According to many studies, Ashkenazi Jews have among the highest average intelligence of any ethnic group as measured by IQ, leading East Asians, who also perform highly in IQ. This result is often used to explain some of the intellectual achievements of Ashkenazi Jews. For example, while Ashkenazi Jews represent 3% of the population of the United States, they have won 27% of the US Nobel Prizes in science, 25% of the ACM Turing Awards, and have accounted for more than half of world chess champions. Whether this difference in IQ and achievement is due entirely to a culture of study and vocational training (environment), or partially to a difference in genetic variables, is presently unknown and controversial."

And we're glad to be here for you.


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: But he IS our landlord... new
      #200428 - 07/28/05 10:55 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Tell him that you prefer he deals with your husband. Or ahve your hubbie ahve a talk with him!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: The full story on why I feel unsafe/weirded out new
      #200434 - 07/28/05 11:10 AM
michele

Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan

I'm glad you called the Rabbi and I think you should take him up on his offer. I can't say as I understand your religion but if he makes you uncomfortable, than he has got to stop! Hugs Sweetie!

--------------------
Taking it one day at a time.....

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

I just spoke to my husband new
      #200437 - 07/28/05 11:18 AM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

And he hung up on me!

I tried to call him back 5 times! He'd better have gotten a call at work and that's why he didn't pick up and that he didn't hang up on me..

So hubb has an excuse. This guy got me in touch with a girl who is interested in becoming religious. And this girl and I were in touch. But she never call me bacdk and I told this guy this.

Hubby guesses he plans to come over to tak about this girl. And that he wouldn't call on the phone to do it because I don't return his calls.

But the girl is out of town, A. B, I do not return his calls because I am trying to send him a message that he is wayyyy to much in my personal space.

Maybe the guy is not getting it and I need to tell him why I've been ignoring him? Maybe hubby's right? But I STILL think he's creepy...not letting us call maintenance, asking me how much hubby makes at his job, and asking people for my address EVEN AFTER an older and respected lady in the community told him it wasn't proper!

Hubby said it has to come from ME not some person in the community.

I cannot BEGIn to tell you how anxious this makes me. It was this whole scenario that made me go on the meds yesterday....I was tired of being scared of this guy and anxious about him. But the meds haven't kicked in yet...and I am So not prepared to deal with this.

I'm so anxious and tense right now I could scream...

And mad at hubby too. Doesn't happen often!

45 mins until therapy, thank G-d






--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: I just spoke to my husband new
      #200438 - 07/28/05 11:20 AM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439


Like your Rabbi said, write him a letter. Then it does come from you, but you don't have to see him face to face.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

A letter is perfect! -nt- new
      #200440 - 07/28/05 11:33 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508




Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

I agree too. new
      #200486 - 07/28/05 12:27 PM
Linz

Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England

Like you said, never mind your religion, this guy makes you uncomfortable so why should you deal with him? Be strong chica, you're doing great.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

So sorry, Ruchie new
      #200543 - 07/28/05 01:16 PM
barbie

Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas


I agree that this man is getting way to nosey & friendly. I agree about writing a letter rather than seeing him in person. You don't have to see him......just don't answer the door, OK!

Hubby is probably in a bad mood today....give him some time.

I'm glad you have therapy today.....maybe that will help.

Hugs
Barbie

--------------------


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Ruchie new
      #200578 - 07/28/05 02:18 PM
BL

Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522


I'm sorry you're so stressed out about this. I hope you get the situation resolved soon. I also think writing him a letter would be a good idea. Hopefully, your therapist had some suggestions for you.

Let us know how that went. And don't back out of the Lamictal now! It will take TIME. Please be patient with it. We all want you to be feeling better soon. It should help you feel more confident and less anxious. I know the mood stabilizers help me with that!

WE love you! Hang in there!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: I just spoke to my husband new
      #200588 - 07/28/05 02:40 PM
jaime g

Reged: 07/27/05
Posts: 961
Loc: new york city

ruchie,

i think you really need to have a talk with your husband. is this how he usually reacts to you when you're upset? i know i don't know anything about your relationship, but he isn't treating you well. for all the pain you're in, you sound amazingly aware of where the pain's coming from and what you can do about it.

i send you lots of love and hope. it sounds like a really rough situation.

--------------------
jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Update! new
      #200602 - 07/28/05 04:16 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

I am sooooo thankful for my therapist!

She expalined to me it is CREEPY and SNEAKY for someone to with hold your maintenance person's # from you. She suggests I get it from someone else in the complex.

She explained that my husband (who is usually SO supportive!) probably has some issues of his own, don't we all, and that he might be passive--which he is!

It was good for me to have to deal with this myself.

I called this guy. It was well rehearsed what I would say. If he was asking about the girl (hubby's assumption!) I would tell him there is no relationship to speak of and there won't be one.

BUT he wanted to know about ME! I was right and so were my instincts! When he picked up I stated who I was. He asked how I was, long time no talk, and I said "Did you want to speak to me about Elizabeth?" :He said no "No, I want to know how you're doing..." I said "Thank you for the concern, but I am on my way into the store, so I need to go now". He sounded upset. But what can I do? IT'S NOT OK! I felt soooo uncomfortable, my suspicions were right on!!!

All my life I've looked out for everyone else. Always "getting out of other's way". For example, at the HFS today, I kept pushing my cart over for everyone even though IT WASN'T in the way! I'm sooo paranoid of hurting others...BUT

I never worry about hurting myself.

My therapist is teaching me well! I don't have to be nice to everyone. If someone goes out of bounds..I can make my needs clear...and that is OK.

It's going to take a LONG time to learn these lessons...but I'm working on it!

I cannot thank everyone here fro supporting me enough....


I love you--thanks for being here !!!

Ruch

P.S. I still feel like a mess. Like my husband can do better. I wish I could be social. I feel guilty for soo very many things! I pray that these meds help and SOON...I am def. not in a good place. BUT having my IBS family makes things seem less hopeless...I love you *hugs*

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

NELLY, your doggie helped me SO MUCH today... new
      #200604 - 07/28/05 04:19 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

Nelly got me a stuffed beanie doggie named Badge. I took him with me in my bag to therapy, to the library, and to Whole Foods. And you know what? As I cried and held him..I said out loud "Nelly loves you!"

How can I thank you Nelly? I love my Badge and will "wear" him well...I love YOU Nelly *hugs*

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Update! new
      #200608 - 07/28/05 04:24 PM
Portageegal

Reged: 06/28/05
Posts: 940
Loc: Massachusetts

I'm so glad you had a good visit with the therapist.
Like you, I was always the one who let people cut ahead in line, etc. No more. Since I had my emotional breakdown I have a big mouth and only move if I really want to. It really felt good the first time I yelled at some guy for cutting in line at the post office. He moved, and with a red face too.
Talk to us any time you want, Ruchie. It is so good to vent it all out.

--------------------
Carol

nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Carol new
      #200612 - 07/28/05 04:35 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

I'm telling you...my whole life I've been less than dirt and everyone else has been PERECT! my therapist told me I need to GET THAT OUT OF MY HEAD...cdause it's not true. I'm gonna work in it! I'm glad to know I'm not alone though, thanks *hugs*

Love you Carol!!!

Ruch

P.S. Are you doing any better with being GF? I know all about it...so I'm here if you want to chat/whine/scream/cry/laugh *hugs* BUT i I don't respond right away, don't take it personaly. It just means I'm hurting but don't give up on me. I really DO CARE *big hugs*

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Hugs Ruchie...(my fellow Rachel!) ~nt~ new
      #200615 - 07/28/05 04:44 PM
poochibelly

Reged: 04/27/05
Posts: 1614




--------------------
Have a blessed day!...Rachel
stable and sooooooo thankful!
I have IBS but it doesn't have me!


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Feeling really bad new
      #200620 - 07/28/05 05:02 PM
Tissy

Reged: 07/15/04
Posts: 773
Loc: Baltimore, MD

Ruchie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so bad! I hope your meds kick in soon. And as far as this guy goes I would trust your instincts and stay far away from him and let him know that he makes you uncomfortable and that you would rather he not contact you but instead speak with your husband.

My life has been chaotic recently but has started to settle back down so if you need to talk you know how to reach me.

Christie

--------------------
Christie
~Hoping and Praying for Sleep!~

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

For Jenny...about the religious stuff... new
      #200631 - 07/28/05 05:29 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

I gotta tell ya, all my best buds were guys growing up...only one or two female pals here and there.

I became religious despite my fam's protests as I believe in it very very strongly!!

My husband and I may not have that much intimacy yet due to m past, but our relationship means soo much! We don't touch anyone outside of our parents and grandparents of the opposite sex. And when WE touch... it's sooo powerful

I have begun to share some intimacy with him and I must say...the laws we follow are beautiful to me! I do not feel like they are restrictive...quite the contrary!

Anyhow...I just don't want you to think that I am locked in here in any way...it was a choice I made.

Thanks for caring about me, being here for me, supporting me, and loving me...i love you Jenny
*hugs*

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: For Jenny...about the religious stuff... new
      #200643 - 07/28/05 05:49 PM
Dr. Spice Yamin

Reged: 04/15/04
Posts: 3286
Loc: Maryland

Ruchie.. I'm confused. Did you not grow up in this religion, or just not as strict?

was it your husband that inspired your decision to become religious?

As long as you love it thats all that matters.

--------------------


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Update! new
      #200657 - 07/28/05 06:26 PM
ChristineM

Reged: 05/31/04
Posts: 1662
Loc: soCal

Good job, Ruchie! It's so wonderful that you faced your fear and called him! Hugs!

--------------------
Christine

Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thanks for the info Ruch!! new
      #200659 - 07/28/05 06:35 PM
chinagrl

Reged: 12/18/03
Posts: 2439


It's interesting to hear about what works for other people- I'm glad you've found your way! I guess it's the same with vegetarianism for me and my husband. Our family's are all big meat eaters, but we just think it's morally and ethically wrong- and we don't feel denied from anything by not eating meat! (Well, occasionally we do a little bit, but the ethical well being is more important).

I didn't mean to sound so surprised by your faith- I just live in a much different world I guess.

I'm glad your therapy went well, you made it to Blockbuster, AND you told that guy to stop bugging you. You had such a productive day!! Love you too.

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Ruchie, you go girl! new
      #200671 - 07/28/05 07:42 PM
BL

Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522


I'm proud of you for calling that guy! That took guts! You are making so much progress.

And I'm glad you have a good therapist. It sounds like the two of you have a great relationship. It's nice that you feel comfortable talking with her.

Keep it up! Have you felt ok on the med?

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Feeling really bad new
      #200673 - 07/28/05 07:50 PM
Wind

Reged: 04/02/05
Posts: 3178


Ruchie:

You've got a lot of "stuff" going on, at ALL LEVELS--subconsciously, spiritually, physically, neurologically, intellectually and YOU'RE NOT AS STRONG AS YOU WILL BE...Meds. take time, i.e. give it a good six weeks. You also have anxiety/self-esteem issues that need to be addressed and tackled/managed.

Hugs.

It sounds like a trillion crossed communication wires. Honestly, I don't know how to interpret this. You don't have to answer the door. You don't have to participate in anything or do anything that causes you moral/spiritual discomfort. And you don't need to appologize to anyone for living in accord with your truth. So, if you're uncomfortable in anyway--don't answer the door. Stand up for you.

Protect yourself with words, with expressing/behaving in accordance to your feelings. You don't need to tell this guy a story or give him any reasons or excuses. Just artfully ignore him. You're a busy lady. Tell him you must consult with your husband or something like that.

Kate.



Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Update! new
      #200682 - 07/28/05 08:26 PM
thepurplelollie

Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 374
Loc: Wellington, New Zealand

I'm so glad your therapist told you that. You do get to have opinions and you're totally entitled to make them known!

I think the writing a letter sounds like a great idea. You already know what you're going to say.... so write it out! Or even better type it!
You don't have to send it once you're done, at least until you're ready to... but writing it or printing it out is one step further towards expressing yourself to this guy (who does sound a bit creepy).

Kia kaha, Ruchie! (that's Maori for 'stand strong')

--------------------
*Emma*

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: NELLY, your doggie helped me SO MUCH today... new
      #200752 - 07/29/05 06:24 AM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Oooohhhhh so sweet! I almost cried. Nely, you're a doll!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

BUMP for NELLY n-t new
      #200870 - 07/29/05 12:18 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA



--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Thank you so much for the bump! new
      #200894 - 07/29/05 01:00 PM
Nelly

Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC

I'm so glad I read this. And I'm so glad that beanie doggie's doing his job!! I do love you, and you know you are cared for by many wonderful people on these boards!!

And Badge is there to look out for you when your computer's off, to do exactly for what he's hanging out in your bag for! To remind you there are people who love you! We don't expect anything of you! We just want you to be safe and proactive about your health. And you're doing great! It's very hard and takes a lot, I know. You didn't ask to be sick, none of us did, and we don't deserve it. But we get to have each other in our lives, and to share our stories and learn from each other. And, most of all, support each other when times get rough and celebrate the victories when times are good!!

Hang onto that pup!! And lean on us as hard as you need to! That is why we're here!!

Your friend,

~nelly~

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Nelly new
      #200896 - 07/29/05 01:02 PM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


You have a heart of gold!!!!!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Nelly AND Tina and my IBS family.. new
      #200899 - 07/29/05 01:05 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

Doesn't she Tina?!?! Btw...so do YOU! I entered that poetry contest because of you...I'll let you know if I hear anything in September. Win or not...I WON by expressing myself and sharing it with others...

I'm the luckiest gal in the world to have so many people love me. My family might not know how to...but I have a HUGE IBS fmily that DOES!! The healing I do goes back to all of you as you all share part of my journey and my healing for loving me so much *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Nelly AND Tina and my IBS family.. new
      #200900 - 07/29/05 01:07 PM
Sara-Sage

Reged: 02/04/04
Posts: 5508


Yes she does Rache. Oh yes.

YAY!!!! I am proud that you entered that poetry contest. You go girl!!!!

Oh yes, we're all a big ibs family here. It's wonderful!

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Nelly, I want one too! ---nt-- new
      #200918 - 07/29/05 01:53 PM
BL

Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522




Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Send your best friend a Beanie Day... new
      #200926 - 07/29/05 02:08 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

Shall we make such a day? Only one problem: I have sooo many best friends I would be broke!!!

My IBS family is growing all the time...I would certainly be busy all year making packages for everyone...but wouldn't that be a GREAT way to live!!!

Here is a beanie link...on the 2nd row down from the top is a doggie beanie for BL...and on the top row the 2nd and 3rd pics are for my FAMILY!

happy beanie day

Love, Ruchie

P.S. Nelly...look what you've started!!! ALL the beanies are for you Nelly *hugs*


--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Send your best friend a Beanie Day... new
      #200931 - 07/29/05 02:13 PM
Nelly

Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC

LOL! You guys are really sweet! Ruchie, you're tops in my book! Thanks for the sweet words! Tina, you always know how to make me blush, sweetie!! BL, I would love to send you a beanie... shall I look for a beanie beagle for you? Ruchie's was inspired by her pet lab!! (Though the stuffed kind pales by comparison to the live kind!! ) I am so glad it helps!

~nelly~

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Send your best friend a Beanie Day... new
      #200936 - 07/29/05 02:25 PM
Snow for Sarala

Reged: 03/12/03
Posts: 5430
Loc: West Coast, USA

How about YOU Miss Beanie? Which one would YOU like Nelly?

--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: Send your best friend a Beanie Day... new
      #200972 - 07/29/05 05:05 PM
Nelly

Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC

LOL! I'd been looking halfheartedly for a husky! I'd be shocked if I found one! The other one I like is a sloth, but I don't know if they make them, LOL! BF calls me a sloth because I don't move in the heat!

You're a doll for thinking of me. You can draw me a picture and I'll love it.

~nelly~

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

I've seen Husky beanies! (and I found a sloth one!) new
      #200995 - 07/29/05 07:06 PM
melitami

Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)

You can probably find them cheaper on Ebay, but here's a couple of links:

Mukluk the Husky

Nanook the Husky

Slowpoke the Sloth

Hehehe, my mom used to collect beanies, can't you tell?

--------------------
Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Re: I've seen Husky beanies! (and I found a sloth one!) new
      #201005 - 07/29/05 08:18 PM
Dr. Spice Yamin

Reged: 04/15/04
Posts: 3286
Loc: Maryland

wow melissa! good find.

--------------------


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Intuition can be a good thing new
      #201025 - 07/30/05 04:31 AM
Sailing Away

Reged: 03/31/05
Posts: 304


I been gone for the last few days and just started catching up on your post. I am so glad that your intuition kicked in to warn you about this guy. At least you can be on your guard around him. The whole keeping the maintenance guy's phone number seems to me like he wants you to have to rely on him so he can "rescue" you when there is a problem. People like him are the reason I have my fiance deal with them and I go lock myself into another room where if I needed to I could climb out the window. (Childish, but always have to look out for myself.)

I know my fiance thinks of these issues are silly since I have voiced them to him. I finally said...you have to understand this makes me uncomfortable and if you can't support me on this how do you expect me to support you on things that are issues to you. It sounds like your therapist is great in helping you in setting the boundaries you need. I keep hoping good things for you with your therapy.

Plus...I adjust my cart also for other people. I think I do it because I don't want to take up that much space and seems like I am not as distracted as the rest of the people in the store who keep running their carts in to me, the shelves or others. So if you were in the store and did that next to me...I would probably say hello since you noticed my presence and thought enough of me to deal with my issues. (Or you knew that I was a disaster waiting to happen ) Nothing like a cart to the back of the ankles or hip to make you grumble.

I keep you in my prayers and hope that this creepy guy finally figures out to back off.

-Michelle

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Nelly you are great! new
      #201026 - 07/30/05 04:35 AM
Sailing Away

Reged: 03/31/05
Posts: 304


I just loved your posting...such positive thoughts and compassion. You are wonderful to have on this board to help all of us. *hugs*

-Michelle

Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

YES, NELLY..HOW SWEET!.... new
      #201039 - 07/30/05 07:39 AM
barbie

Reged: 04/22/04
Posts: 2435
Loc: Texas

Hi Nelly,

That was the sweetest thing you did for Ruchie. I know the little puppy beanie will help her a lot.

When my kids were little I had a stuffed cartoon character we called "Karancha" and whenever they got down about something I would bring him out and say, "Karancha wouldn't want you to feel bad". It really did the trick. Believe it or not, I still have Karancha and sent him to my grown son when he was having a tough time....yes, it helped.

You're the best
Barbie

--------------------


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

(((HUGS)))) Rache, I emailed you.-nt new
      #201142 - 07/31/05 02:26 AM
doubletrouble

Reged: 11/14/04
Posts: 1530
Loc: Canberra, Australia



--------------------
Amy


Print     Remind Me     Notify Moderator    

Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | (show all)

Extra information
0 registered and 116 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  Heather 

Print Thread

Permissions
      You cannot post until you login
      You cannot reply until you login
      HTML is enabled
      UBBCode is enabled

Thread views: 13533

Jump to

| Privacy statement Help for IBS Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.2


HelpForIBS.com BBB Business Review