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His interest in you is a bit odd, I agree. Trust your instincts. Avoid him! Eventually, he'll figure it out and leave you alone.
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Yes, he IS a member of the community. BUt his cusatoms are a bit different as he is Sefard and I am Ashkenaz (long story). he's been told by a woman in the community that it is NOT PROPER for him to be friends with me the way he wants to. But he didn't listen (forgot that part earlier)... and I've indicated subtly, by telling him SPEAK TO MY HUSBAND that it isn't proper to me either. PLUS one day he came over with a maintenance guy AND hubby was home. Hubby followed the maintenance guy and this guy followed me to the kitchen! Hubby found this guy in the kitchen shmoozing it up with me...and did/said nothing knowing perfectly well how
I feel. Well, I followed hubby and inored the guy and he still doesn't get it!!! I'm NOT in a good position right now with seting limits/boundaries as this is something I will be working on in therapy. it is NOt a skill I have now. Maybe my therapist can give me pointers today.BUT even though this guy doesn't follow our customs, he KNOWS about them...and he SHOULD respect them. It's not like he is in the dark. I KNOW I have to work on my boundaries...but he HAS bee told, and I do NOT trust him...
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ruchie,
If he's been told, then there's no excuse. If you don't feel comfortable telling him off, maybe talk to hubby about it again tonight. In the meantime, avoid, avoid, avoid.
Feel better soon! Hugs!
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Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
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Sorry you're having to deal with this right now Ruch. Hang in there. You're taking lots of positive steps to feel better, and be able to set these boundaries. Keep focusing on feeling well and ignore and avoid the weird shopkeepers serving as distractions.
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And he couldn't believe the guy was part of the community...even with the differing customs, it is totaly inappropriate!
He told me to write the guy a letter and he would touch it up for me to mail to the guy at the store.
If I could muster up the courage, I should simply tell him "I'm married, and there are boundaries. Saying helle with a smile is one thing, and neccesary talk another. Please do not call me unless necessary and if it can be discussed with my husband, that is best. Thank you."
I wish I weren't too chicken to stand up for myself!
But yes, even my Rabbi thinks this guy recognizes my vulnerabilities and is playing on them. SO UNCOOL!
I am so tired of living here 
Thanks for all your help/advice/support everyone *hugs*
I hope one day I feel safe...and can stand up for myself, please G-d!!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I just looked up your religion, and apparently your section has the highest average IQ of any ethnic group in existence. That's pretty cool.
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Really Jenny? I must admit I'm not a part of that statistic!!! What did I say about creativity...I'd fit in there  
Jenny, thanks for making me smile *big hugs* You're right I AM making positive steps towards healing I DON'T need anyone knocking me down!!!
P.S. It just ocurred to me...even if it had nothing to do with our religious beliefs...if someone makes me uncomfortable, I have EVERY RIGHT to set limits/boundaries! That is my choice! What an exciting revelation!!!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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what if I upset him? And hubby might get mad thinking I'm overeacting...
Ugh! now I feel guilty! The same way I did when I was raped...
Like it was my fault.
I'm sooo glad I have therapy soon....
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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From wikipedia
"IQ
According to many studies, Ashkenazi Jews have among the highest average intelligence of any ethnic group as measured by IQ, leading East Asians, who also perform highly in IQ. This result is often used to explain some of the intellectual achievements of Ashkenazi Jews. For example, while Ashkenazi Jews represent 3% of the population of the United States, they have won 27% of the US Nobel Prizes in science, 25% of the ACM Turing Awards, and have accounted for more than half of world chess champions. Whether this difference in IQ and achievement is due entirely to a culture of study and vocational training (environment), or partially to a difference in genetic variables, is presently unknown and controversial."
And we're glad to be here for you.
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Tell him that you prefer he deals with your husband. Or ahve your hubbie ahve a talk with him!
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