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Feeling Blue
      #19849 - 09/07/03 03:36 PM
Tim G

Reged: 08/07/03
Posts: 95
Loc: NSW, Australia

Hi Guys,

I know everyone has there own problems to deal with, but I just need to vent. Feel free to skip:-)

I have been trying to keep this whole IBS thing in perspective since I was fully diagnosed in June, having originally started suffering in late April.

I am suffering from post-infectious IBS-D which I have to be honest has significantly improved from the early days, but it still a long way from under control.

Since mid-June I have been forced, for the most part, to work from home as I live almost an hour from the office which proves exhausting if not impossible by train when I have to constantly get on / off the train(s) to find a loo (It's also incredibly embarrasing as, although I know that no-one on the train knows why I am getting off the train at a different stop each day, and probably don't care, it must look peculiar.)

A few weeks back things seemed to finally be getting under control and I was able to get back into the office 1-2 times per week, and last week was the week before last was probably the best week in a long-time. Last week the tide turned and I seem to have recommenced the slippery slope into frequent attacks that tie me to the house again and I am just sick of it.

I have had a number of conversations with my boss recently about 'when I will be able to return to work' and am so frustrated that I have to keep repeating to him that this is not something in my control. I have also sent him a tonne of IBS information in the hope that he would read it and have some appreciation for my situation...but still we keep walking the same path every few weeks. Arrrrggghhh!! What can I do?

The really frustrating thing is that, if anything I am able to get more work done from home as I am not constantly disturbed by people coming up to my desk.

Although work has been pretty accomodating to date I can sense that tolerance is waring off and am so worried that if I don't get back into the office on a full-time basis soon I will be out of a job.

My wife has been really great in supporting me, but even she can want to try and push me to go in some days. I think the problem here is that, as there are no obvious physical symptoms (to her anyway) she cannot really appreciate the discomfort, stress and anxiety that venturing out puts me under.

I do believe that my symptoms are exacerbated by stress and the worry about possibly losing my job does nothing to aleviate that.

I have been trying so hard, adapting diet, meditation for relaxation, Mike's hypnosis sessions, accupuncture, chinese herbal remedies, and seeing a stress councilor for a while I just cannot seem to arrest these symptoms and am feeling so flat and despondent.

When I was diagnosed with IBS I knew that life would never be the same again, but I have always been very positive and driven to resolve problems...now I just don't know what to do and am so desperate for a break from this.

I have been able to get out of the house a little more over the past month but I have a constant anxiety which leads to rapid onset of attack unless there is a toilet on hand.

The interesting thing is that when I am at home I seem to be able to hold things together longer and calm the symptoms, but when I am out my GI-tract just goes insane and the calming exercises that work at home do nothing.

I have had a few close misses on the train in the past, but came so close to an embarrasing situation at the shopping centre this Saturday that I really don't want to go anywhere now for fear of a repeat.

Sorry guys if I have droned on. And if you have made it this far then I thank you for taking the time. I am not expecting any solutions...but it was good to get it off my chest.

Best Regards
Tim

--------------------
Tim

-A poor man's Jamie Oliver...without the attitude!

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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19852 - 09/07/03 05:16 PM
*Melissa*

Reged: 02/22/03
Posts: 4508
Loc: ;

Hey Tim -

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time of it lately. You know you can vent anytime you feel like it - we're all here for you.

I wish I could give you a solution - but unfortunately I don't know. I know for me, because I was in a similar situation, sometimes I wondered if I was trying so hard to not have an attack that I did. I don't know if that makes any sense or not - for example, when I did the hypno, I was kinda glad when they were finished so they could go do their job in my subconcious without me consciously thinking about them every day. I don't know - maybe it's just another one of my weird things.

Anyway, have you tried taking a fiber supplement? Or calcium supplement? I know both of these really helped me with my D, so I was more confident to go out, which in turn helped the stress-of-leaving-the-house trigger.

Anyway, I hope you get some relief soon. Please keep us posted on how you're getting on.

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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19854 - 09/07/03 05:28 PM
Tim G

Reged: 08/07/03
Posts: 95
Loc: NSW, Australia

Thanks Mags:-)

I have been on the metamucil fibre supplement since early July and it has certainly helped 'consistency', and seemed to slow things for a while, but seem to be having a bit of a relapse at present.

There is still more that I can/should do dietary-wise but as I am sure you know, it can be very difficult sometimes.

Anyhoo...I am sure it will ease off again soon, at least I hope so, but thanks for the support.

Tim

--------------------
Tim

-A poor man's Jamie Oliver...without the attitude!

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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19856 - 09/07/03 06:32 PM
suzyq

Reged: 05/22/03
Posts: 630
Loc: Northern Ont. Canada

Tim; I have been where you are now. Let me tell you it does get better. At one point I wouldn't go anywhere. I knew if I left the house there was no way in hell there would be a toilet close enough.But of course there was/is. My husband did give me some advice. He said"if you keep on thinking that you will not make it to the bathroom they you won't". "Just keep saying,I am fine I don't have to go". So what I did was go for a walk,not far, just in case, Every day I went a little further. And finally it got to the point I could drive to the grocery store,pick up the groceries and home again; this of course taking about an hour. also with keep saying to myself, " I will be fine" Finally I was able to do more. Work, golf and enjoy being out with family and friends. Sure there are more crummy days then good, but I always look forward to the good!! A little hint, immodium is my best friend.

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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19857 - 09/07/03 06:53 PM
BL

Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522


Tim,
I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Please don't feel bad about venting, not to us anyway. That's what we're here for. You sound really down and believe me, I know how that is. I struggle with that a lot.
Would it not be possible for you to work out of the home all the time? I was wondering if you had discussed this with your boss. It sounds like you are getting a lot done at the house, so maybe if you could convince him that you are more productive at home, he would go for this arrangement. My sister is working out of her house now and loves it!
If you have explored all of your options (change in diet, adding fiber supplements, etc.) and working out of the home is not a possiblity, then maybe you should talk to your doctor about some kind of medication that would allow you to travel to and from work without a problem.
Hope you get better soon! Let us know how you are doing.


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Anytime! -nt- new
      #19860 - 09/07/03 07:05 PM
*Melissa*

Reged: 02/22/03
Posts: 4508
Loc: ;



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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19862 - 09/07/03 07:17 PM
Tim G

Reged: 08/07/03
Posts: 95
Loc: NSW, Australia

Thanks. Yes, I've thought about working from home 'full-time', but I am not sure how that would work as I am a manager and lead a team of four people. So far it has worked out fine, but is a little difficult at times.

I have had so many prescription drugs, none of which helped, that I decided to skip drugs for now and do the herbal remedies and accupuncture...but that doesn't appear to be working either so I will give the immodium a try:)

I am in a bit of a paradox at the moment, as the most recent specialist that I saw picked up something called 'Fatty Liver' in my blood tests. The result of this was that he advised that this could also be the cause (or a major contributor)to my IBS. He advised that I look to lose a few pounds, take a liver tonic and try a liver friendly diet. Trouble is, as much as the liver diet is semi-aligned with the IBS diet, there are some things that are good for the liver but bad for IBS...

Anyway, thanks so much for your comments and support. This BBS is the main thing that keeps me going when I am down.

Best regards
Tim

--------------------
Tim

-A poor man's Jamie Oliver...without the attitude!

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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19863 - 09/07/03 07:26 PM
Tim G

Reged: 08/07/03
Posts: 95
Loc: NSW, Australia

Thanks, I will give the immodium a try. I haven't been completely housebound yet and can make it to the mall sometimes or to our local shops and to my doctors(all have toilets).

Travelling is my main anxiety, in the car or on the train when there is no toilet to hand, things tend to spiral out of control. In a car it's a little easier as you can quickly pull over to the nearest service station or public conveniece, but on the train there can be long delays between stops and if an attack hits, it's more luck than anything that I make it through.

Before my most recent attacks I had been able to get out for a few nice walks with my wife and dog, but as you know it really knocks you confidence when you have a relapse.

The other thing is that weekends have, until recently, always been better for me with regard to IBS. Not sure whether this is because all time pressures are removed, or I am not thinking / worrying about work activities...

Anyway, thanks for your support and advice.
Best regards
Tim

--------------------
Tim

-A poor man's Jamie Oliver...without the attitude!

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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19871 - 09/08/03 12:08 AM
KinOz

Reged: 02/02/03
Posts: 909
Loc: Brisbane, Australia

Tim,

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down at the moment and as the others have said if you need to vent this sure is the best place for it!

It sounds like you are doing all the right things and that's what makes it so frustrating when it doesn't seem to work. Can I ask what day you are up to with the hypno? Hopefully as you progress with it you will see more of an improvement. It really helped me with the anxiety.

Hope you feel better soon,

Kerrie

--------------------
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.


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Re: Feeling Blue new
      #19872 - 09/08/03 12:19 AM
Tim G

Reged: 08/07/03
Posts: 95
Loc: NSW, Australia

Hi Kerrie

I am up to day 55 so far. I am sure it is having some benefit, but because I have a number of other treatments on the go it can be difficult to tell which is providing the real benefit.

Today started off really bad, but seems to have eased now so I can only hope that I have turned a corner!!!

Best regards,
Tim

--------------------
Tim

-A poor man's Jamie Oliver...without the attitude!

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