We are run down this week
#19776 - 09/05/03 07:45 PM
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BarbaraS
Reged: 02/12/03
Posts: 1939
Loc: Wisconsin
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at my house. On Labor Day we visited Grandma (my mother-n-law) to celebrate her birthday. It was not a good day for her. She was very weak and eventually she was transported to the hospital by ambulance. The worst part was six grandchildren witnessed it.
It was determined two days ago her treatment is no longer working and she was transported to a Hospice today. She is in end stages of Hep. C she contracted from a blood transfusion in the 1980's.
My husband is taking it very hard and we haven't told our kids yet that Grandma only has a few weeks left to live. I have been trying to be strong support for my husband and didn't realize until today how sad I am. She is the only mother figure I have in my life right now and it has been really hard to see her sick.
I attend a support group for special needs children and I broke down this morning for the first time. It felt really good and hopefully my IBS will feel better after showing my emotions.
Our next step is telling our boys and does anybody have any suggestions on how to share this news with them?
Just needed to unload and thanks to those who took time to read this post.
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Barbara,
I'm very sorry to hear of your Mother-in -Laws poor health. It must be a terribly hard time for you and your family and I am thinking of you.
As for how to tell your boys I have never had to do anything like that but as a teacher I usually find that honesty is the best policy with kids. I think it's important for them to know that they can express their emotions about it all in a way that feels right for them and that everybody deals with things in a different way. There are no rules that say you have to cry and also no rules to say you can't. I would also make sure they know they can come to you and ask any questions they may have - it can be scary when you are dealing with the unknown.
You sound like a wonderful, caring Mum and I'm sure you'll handle it just right.
Kerrie
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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Please unload anytime! What an emotionally exhausting time for you and your family. We're here for you!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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Oh Barbara I am so sorry. This is such a hard thing to deal with.
From experience, my parents waited until my grandfather passed away before they told us. He had cancer for a long time. I think we kind of knew he was dying but we didn't know until after. I was 8, my sister was 10 and my brother was 5. I don't know if that will help but if I remember right the ages are similar to your boys. It is hard to know what to do and every child is different with how they will handle the news.
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Barb sorry to hear about your mother-in-law.Praying for her,you,your husband & the rest of the family. You should tell the children the truth.Let them know that she is sick and will be leaving them soon, leaving them in body but not in soul. You will be surprised at how children react to death. When my mother passed away due to cancer;7 yrs ago; myself &my siblings told the children that gramma was sick and would soon be leaving us. She is going up to see God and to watch over us. Also at night when you look up at the sky,you look for the shinest star and that is gramma winking at you! On the day of her passing my daughter says to her cousin "now we really have to be good because gramma is watching us all the time!  Last year my father passed away also from cancer.That night as every one was gathered at my house, the kids all came running in to tell us ,"Now there are 2 really bright stars shining,one gramma and one grampa. The kids who are seven years older remembered and told the younger ones about the stars. The kids also think ther is a huge game of cards going on up there! 
Sorry this is so long but just to let you know that most times children understand more than adults do.
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Barbara,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I don't know what to say except that I will pray for you and your entire family. God bless you!
BL
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