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I don't even understand when my friends buy a pair of shoes, take them home, think about them, and return them. I've never EVER returned ANYTHING, unless it was the wrong size or something. I make a decision and that's the end of it. Maybe we're all nuts!
I think that's part of the reason that the uncertainty in my current relationship situation is stressing me out. I like things to be decided. I guess I can't really do that when it involves another person's decisions too. It's hard for me to sit back and let bf suss out his own feelings and decide where we will go. The only decision I can make is stay in this or leave. He can decide stay in it, leave, or move it forward. I hate that I don't get to be the one to move it forward, but it's got to be a unanimous decision and he's a traditional guy who needs to be the pursuer. Blah blah blah.
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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I was just chatting about this with my SIL. She has a zillion graduate degrees with a ton of letters after her name. When she and my brother got married, she was practicing as a licensed psychotherapist in a really demanding environment (basically diagnosing kids and developing treatment plans, etc). When she got pregnant and was considered high-risk, her doctor ordered her to quit her job. She and my brother decided that she would continue to stay home after the baby was born. I know that ego-wise it was an adjustment for her to be so dependant and not be contributing financially. She also misses adult conversation. What really kills her, though, is when current professionals give her pitying looks when she says she is a stay at home mom. Now she doesn't even tell people what she used to do. Too many questions about "all that schooling for nothing" and things like that. But, if she went back to work, she'd have just as many fingers wagging at her, saying she should be at home with her baby. You can't have everyone's approval ever. You just have to do what seems right to you, and that's it.
I still don't know what I'll do.
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Amanda
I live in the Big Apple, but I don't eat the skin
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Michele
#195825 - 07/14/05 07:19 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I was thinking of you the other day when I was at the eye doctor's office. I absolutely love the girl there that helps me with contacts and glasses. She is so great at what she does, and I just adore her. She has been so patient and so helpful to me.
And believe it or not, I was thinking how envious I am of her and her nice job! I have a college degree, and I hate what I studied. The pay is low, and the hours are horrible. So I don't feel like I have a career!
I think what you do is so important. It doesn't matter if you have a college degree or not. So don't think any less of yourself because you don't.
And thanks for sharing your story. I didn't know you had had such a hard time before you met Will. You are an incredibly strong person for surviving all of that. One day you and Will will be parents, and you will be such a wonderful mom!
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Amanda
#196028 - 07/15/05 10:53 AM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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Quote:
Ha! I'm amazed I could stop laughing long enough to hit the reply key! Everyone always seems to think I am so driven, and inside I feel like such a mess. Truth be told, I'd abandon my career and my life in New York to be with my bf in London, where I'd have a hard time working. He's hesitating all of a sudden (about EVERYTHING), and I'm questioning a lot myself. I know that if I do have a career I want it to be in law, and probably at the firm I'm working for this summer, but I also never saw myself as a career woman. I always imagined I'd be married right out of college, would have a thousand babies and stay home and take care of them. When it was clear by senior year that that wouldn't happen, I decided to go to law school, kind of on a lark. Once I got there people just seemed to push me in a certain direction, and I let the current take me. Now I'm somehow editor-in-chief of moot court, which is a huge, prestigious position, and I feel like someone is going to come to their senses one day and realize that I'm a total goofball! It's reassuring, I guess, that I come off as having it all together, but it also makes it hard for me sometimes to admit that I need advice, etc. I feel afraid to shatter people's perception of me, you know?
Do you think guys think about this sort of stuff?
Yeah ... all the time, unfortunately. 
It's funny to read this. I've lurked here a long time and I've always definitely thought you had it all together! But, sorry, my opinion still hasn't changed, even if you think you're a mess. You couldn't be where you're at right now if you weren't at least somewhat with it.
I've read your other posts about your BF. Like lots of other women here, I went through this with my husband as well. He didn't want to go sow wild oats -- he didn't have his eye on other women -- there was nothing wrong with our relationship -- he just Wasn't Ready To Commit. I ended up deciding to stick it out because the thought of leaving him sort of made me feel like vampire rabbits were gnawing on my internal organs. We had our one-year wedding anniversary two months ago and are really happy together. (and if only I could suppress the horrible "nagging" gene handed down from my mother we would be even happier)
I don't know what's tougher -- sticking it out, or deciding not to. I know it must be even worse for you since BF's in London. I wish you luck with whatever you do decide.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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I can nag sometimes, but I justify in my head (and too my husband) by saying that if he could think of things on his own without me having to tell him, and then remind him 5 times, then I wouldn't have to. But that will never happen. So I think he's kind of accepted it.
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My husband is EXTREMELY forgetful and scattered. If I don't remind him of stuff we'd be screwed. Since he's a computer geek we call me his external hard drive. 
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Hah!
#196055 - 07/15/05 11:26 AM
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epa_ginger
Reged: 02/23/05
Posts: 1158
Loc: Chicago, IL
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I sometimes call myself his "daily planner"!!
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Quote:
I can nag sometimes, but I justify in my head (and too my husband) by saying that if he could think of things on his own without me having to tell him, and then remind him 5 times, then I wouldn't have to. But that will never happen. So I think he's kind of accepted it.
This is so my line too!! LMAO
My other famous line when he says "What's the big deal" - I always say - if it's not a big deal to you and it is to me - then do it my way Bwhahaha - I am such a bag!!!
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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I can't believe none of you guys have mentioned those! To this day I still don't like real blueberries because I grew up thinking that blueberries were supposed to be the little pellet things you got in Jiffy muffin mixes.
We were broke when I was a kid. Welfare, food stamps, etc. When it was bad we'd have to go to the food bank to get food. You took what they gave you and got out before you had to meet the eyes of anyone else around you. They would always give you like a HUGE amount of rice, powdered milk, and noodles, and then they would give you a huge bag of sticky stale rolls/doughnuts the grocery stores couldn't sell, and then the "frivolous" stuff -- discontinued candy/sweets, usually. One time we got a huge quantity of pints of coffee ice cream. None of us really liked the taste, but it was ice cream, so we ate it.
My parents were pretty good about not making us eat stuff we didn't like. But we didn't have much choice, so you usually ate it anyway. I was a picky eater so a lot of the time I would eat a cheese-and-mayo sandwich or PB crackers. Oh how I miss cheese-and-mayo sandwiches. I know it sounds disgusting but it was good, really. Miracle Whip spread lavishly over soft doughy white bread with a slice of American cheese from Aldi's. Mmmm.
Ginger and Michele, you guys could've come over to our house for dinner any night of the week and you would've thought it was "just like Mom's" 
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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As far as being forgetfull....Tommy is this true?!?!?
Justin wouldn't remember to put his pants on if I didn't tell him to. I have to do EVERYTHING! (I seriously do put his clothes out in the bathroom each night)
It's almost pointless to tell him to do something until the SECOND I need it done, because I'll just have to remind him until that second either way
I dont know how he survived w/o me - lol. Or else he just is playing dumb so that I do everything...
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~Cara~
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