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Yeah, that's true, the liability is kinda scary and you have to get extra insurance and stuff. Although, my SIL lives in kind of a rough backwaters town where you would actually have to post a sign in the yard stating "ILLEGAL DRUGS SOLD HERE" before anyone would come around and bother you.
LOL! Well, I guess that's not funny....but it makes me laugh still...
I say, put your name on the waiting list regardless of what you decide, in case you change your mind halfway through. Heck, put your name on a FEW waiting lists!
I know day cares don't like part-timers....is there anyone around you that you can really trust??
I still of course vote that you stay home for awhile, until he/she is in school or something...then take a part time job during those hours.
Maybe you'll know what to do when you get pregnant - maybe you'll just have a gut feeling...maybe you do now?
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~Cara~
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Re: Cara
#196363 - 07/16/05 08:08 AM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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My gut feeling is STAY HOME.
But, gut feelings do not pay the mortgage! We can get by fine on DH's salary (and we'll have a cushion in a savings account) ... but DH isn't crazy about "getting by". He likes to be able to buy whatever he wants when he wants. And because he thinks that daycare is OK, he is a little grumbly about my staying home. That's really the main reason why I'm still thinking about working.
I think he is also afraid that I will refuse to go back to work and spend my days eating bonbons and reading French novels or something. I don't think he understands how much WORK it is to raise a child. I am hoping that once we actually do have children he will feel a little differently.
Are there any studies/books/Internet articles out there on stay-at-home moms and the benefits? And why your kid won't become a social freak even if he doesn't go to daycare? I would love to find stuff like that to show to my husband. I have a couple books on stay-at-home-moms but they mainly deal with the practicalities of living on one income and all that.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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I understand where you're coming from....but I think that your hubby wanting to buy what he wants, when he wants it, is a bit selfish to your future kids! If him wanting to buy things is more important than you staying home to raise them, then that is messed up logic to me! But everyone has different opinions I know...maybe his thoughts will change a little when you have that baby. You don't want to regret missing out on the babies first years...
And who knows? You might HATE being home after a year, and want to work...then you can decide...but if your gut is telling you to stay home, I think you need to do that.
I HATE when people say kids will be anti-social if they aren't in daycare. That's the biggest load of BULL I've ever heard! (I'm not saying you said that- just in general!) It's not like you'll sit at home and watch tv all day and never let them interact with kids. There are TONS of activities you can sign up for at the park district or schools or whatever - where YOU can be there with him, so that YOU are the one to discipline him, watch over him, etc. I'm not knocking all daycares...I know there are some great one, and some people have to send their kids to one....I just dispise when people say that they won't be social - it's like the only argument they have. My sister is actually getting her PhD right now - and she has done EXTENSIVE studies of children raised in daycares vs. raised by parents in the FIRST FEW YEARS...and the number of problems with day care children is SO much higher, mainly because of the confusion in discipline. I do NOT mean to offend anyone who has kids in daycare - this is by no means EVERY child...heck, I was put in day care part time too...I'm just saying that, in my opinion, it's good to be home for at least a few years...there are plenty of things you can do from home.
Eg - I am just now starting to tutor math out of my home - it's easy, pays very well, and I don't have to leave!
Anyways....I hope I didn't offend you at all, I didn't mean to AT ALL. Just trying to tell you how I feel. I know everyone has different opinions, this is just something I feel strongly about. And hey - stay at home DADS are wonderful too! If they can handle it 
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~Cara~
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I agree-our mat leave is long and I found though I love my daughter more than anything, I was going a little stir crazy without adult interaction. I tried doig a dayhome for the last 3 mos of my mat leave, and had to go back to work to get OUT of the dayhome business! Was not for me.
My Dh works nights and I teach all day so we have a good hand-off situation. i too am queasy about daycare, and kayleigh has never been in one. I think if there's a way to avoid it, you should! They're ONLY YOUNG ONCE!enjoy that while you can!
I've worked in a great daycare and know it can be a good thing, but the kids also get sick like wildfire, often. i didn't want that for my little boo either. And, we save hundreds every month for NOT sending her. Is the financial cost worth it? Maybe for some, certainly not for us.
Now that kay is 2 1/2 we might send her on Monday afternoons to a nice dayhome, for some socialization and catchup time for Daddy and maybe even Mommy. But now I feel like this is the age where it's more "playdate time" than "babysitting time." I still loathe having anyone babysit her-I feel I'm letting her down. Luckily we have a ton of family to call on too. Ah the good ol Prairie family. 
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Keep on keepin' on...
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Personal opinion, you can NOT go wrong staying home with your babies as long as possible. It's a sacrifice you will not regret. Don't know if you're in the medical field or not but is there a possibility you could work on an as needed basis, just to keep current in your field and earn a bit of extra cash? I have worked since my baby was 6 1/2 wks old, with an exception of about 6 months before I went to nursing school and during the time I went to nursing school. I had hoped to have another baby when my husband finished his master's program, but when we lost 2 pregnancies and also experienced financial difficulties, I gave up on having a baby and knew that I would have to go to school to get a good career. So, that's my feeling... I agree with you that it is best to have your babies raised by parents instead of a daycare... although I had good experiences and she turned out fine. It's definitely a personal decision, but sounds like you do want to have your children raised by you guys. What about your husband being an at-home daddy? That's another possibility. Good luck and I hope you get pregnant very easily and have great pregnancies!! ~K~
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