making babies
#193976 - 07/11/05 12:01 AM
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Lyndsey
Reged: 02/16/05
Posts: 581
Loc: Bay Area, CA
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ok, making babies....and possibly offensive question.....
does douching change the chances of sperms? i know it doesn't dilute the little guys, but can it wash them out? you know sometimes you feel the need to clean....but it's not out of hand.....but i'd like to kinda have an idea....... 
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I imagine you don't wanna be putting anything *up there* that could swoosh anything out if you are trying to get pregnant.
I have also read that douching at the best of times really isn't good for you, if you are using actual douches. With water and stuff, I don't think is bad but with the otc stuff.. I wouldn't be putting it up there, that's for darn sure!
If you are really wondering about it, I would just look around for info.. I'm sure on pregnancy tips there are things about what is and isn't safe to do.
Good luck!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Yeah, the vagina is a self cleaning organ, there's never any need to douche. If you're having problems with lots of discharge you should see your doctor, otherwise soap and water is fine. I can't imagine the chemicals in douche would be good for sperm either! 
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There is NO need to douche. I can't see how it could be good for trying to get pregnant. I know that once you are pregnant you CANNOT douche. I just wouldn't do it altogether!
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~Cara~
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If you want more information about that and other things you can try babycenter.com. They always have lots of helpful information. And if you are trying you can join one of the birth clubs. I was actully suprised to find birth clubs for months were people aren't even pregnant or trying but just planning. I'm sure they have birth clubs for May and June of next year up already.
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Yes, I agree, no duching, ever! In regards to trying to get pregnant, the douche will wash away your cervial mucus which is needed for the sperm to live in until they fertilize the egg and if you douche after sex, it can wash away the sperm. No douching, no harsh soaps, no lubricants (unless its Pre-seed, especially made for TTC.) I keep baby wipes in the bathroom and use them after going poo or if I feel "less than fresh" and need a quick clean, but only wipe on the "outside."
Your "discharge" will vary through out the month. Just after your period (aka AF) most women are pretty dry, than most women will notice an increase in dicharge, or cervical mucus (aka cm.) The CM tends to start out sticky and thick and as ovulation nears, the cm usually thins out and becaomes streatchy, this is compared to egg whites, often reffered to as ewcm! This is your most fertile time as the sperm can live the longest in this cm!
If you find yourself to be having issues with feeling "fresh" try wearing disposable panty liners, they are cheap enough to be changed often. If you have any offensive odor, it can be a sign of a bacterial infection and if you have lots of lumpy, whitesh discharge, you may have an yeast infection. Both of which can be treated easily enough. Otherwise, stop the douching! Trimming your hair down there with mens clippers can also help keep you feeling drier and more fresh!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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But I guess they do...michele, I'm going to have to compile all your helpful emails for one day when I'm trying. I'm getting SO antsy about it...if my husband got like a 20% raise I'd say "Let's go for it!" but I'm still a bit concerned about money....but I doubt that will last too long...
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We'd love to have a baby too... unfortunately we can't until I'm through with course work. So we plan to start trying in January. I really wish I could be pregnant now... although with all the recent money disasters I guess it's a good thing. I will have to try and cultivate patience, that's all. It will do me good when I am a mom, right?
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I'd love to if we only had more money, but we're only just scraping by atm! I got REALLY broody a while back, but getting Archie helped some...he's def my baby atm!
All these pg photos are making me broody again tho... 
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Can I just say that if you wait until you can afford kids, you'll most likely never have them!!! LOL!! Thats one of the reason Will and I waited also but we realized there was always going to be some sort of money issue  With that being said, of course you need to be sure you will be able to provide whats needed for the child!
For those of you ladies planning on trying in the next 6-12 months, can I say its a good idea to start monitering your cycles NOW! If you are taking bcps, plan on stopping them a few months BEFORE you actually want to get pregnant and use condoms so your cycles have a chance to normailize! I was luckily in that aspect as I ovulated the first month and Af was right on time but thats not the norm!
Also remember, its best to start pre-natal vitamins BEFORE trying to get pregnant! Many insurance plans will pay for them with a prescription from the dr, if you have prescription coverage that is! 
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Yeah, I want to start soon too!! And I'm jealous you get to start in January. chinagrl! I know what Michele says is totally true...waiting until you have "enough" money, is really a lost cause, cause I'm sure it never really feels like enough. Really--I just need to figure out the job/day care situation. I think I can do part time work here, like 2-3 days a week, so i just need to figure out day care the other days. My mom would so do it but she's still working. I'm getting a raise in Sept., with that, I can reduce my 401k contribution, reduce my hours, and end up taking home the same amt of money I am now. So that's not terrible.
Seriously, I think about it every day, and this board alone makes me crazy for wanting kids!
BTW michele--reading your above posts on cycles and mucus and all that. I'm glad I read that because I know the past 2 years or so I DEFINITELY am aware that at a certain time of the month there tends to be more...ah...ewcm! So I'm guessing this is my fertile period. It has been SO tempting to convince my husband we don't need our "supplies" that night!!
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Hmmm...we're still at the stage of worrying about whether we can keep the house so kids would NOT be a good idea atm. Also, with me having Fibro, it's quite likely that I physically won't be able to work through much of pregnancy or having a little one, so we need to know we'll be okay with just Si's money. Total bore as I'm so ready to start a family right now. We're both so family orientated, having one of our own is going to be so cool! 
My job at the moment is a real career-starter job so it would be great if I could be on the way to being a garden designer when we have a family as then I could do flexi-hours and some work from home.
So is anyone else a FSFM?
Edited by Linz (07/11/05 02:26 PM)
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Yep, its funny, I never really paid attention to the changes in my body until I was already trying and there is so much your body tells you, if you just listen! Once you understand what happens each month, its much easier to pick up on the signs!
It certainly sounds like you have your fertile times pinpointed which is a major bonus when you are ready to try! I bet you will get pregnant in no time when the time is right!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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The job/money thing is one of the things we're relatively blessed about. Eric makes a terrific salary, and I'll make an ok one. The big bonus is that in May I will be ABD, meaning I'll be expected to sit at home and work on my dissertation. Most people have to get jobs during this, but due to the husband, I won't. So I plan to use this time to have my baby and work on the dis when E. gets home (or when he telecommutes). In many ways we're really blessed- it's just this darn school!!! I'm so glad we have the great Michelle for advice!! We probably won't worry too much about pinpointing fertile times. We're pretty young and we'll just take it as it happens when it happens.
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Do you know if prenatal vitamins are vegetarian? I have trouble finding vitamins that are...
Thanks for the advice! We had read that- I'm due for my yearly check up in September so I figure I'll talk to my doctor then about all the things to start doing and when. On that note, I'm glad you had such a great weekend and I really hope it works out for you the way you want, I know you'll be a great mom.
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Well, you are pretty lucky chinagrl....I think a lot couples worry a lot about money....sounds like you guys have a good plan, I hope it works!
we could probably live quite nicely on my husband's salary, but we are WAY to used to nice vacations and things like that. We're trying to make ourselves stick to a budget now, I DEFINITELY need to spend less money on clothes, shoes, etc., and then I think once we've done that we'll have a better idea. I really need to keep my job in some way though---it's a government job, completely stable, pays good, good benefits, and I could stay there until I retire if I want. It's exactly what I want to do so I need to work on keeping it, even if only part time.
In September, my friend who is my husband's cousin, one of my closest friends, is getting married at Yosemite, and my husband and I are visiting San Francisco first, going to the wedding, staying in a cabin with 15 other friends for 4 days, then going down to Cabo San Lucas for beach time and scuba diving--we're both certified. I'm looking at that as kind of the "last hurrah" in terms of partying and scuba diving. After that, I'll feel like I've gotten a lot of my youth that a lot of people don't get and I know I won't be missing anything when we have kids.
Linz..my husband and I are family oriented too...I know both our families would love it. We are close with our families, and they are close with each other so it's a great mix, and there haven't been any babies in a long time. We need new blood! ha ha...
Man..I'm so impatient that even our new club has inspired me to talk to my husband tonight about it!!
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Having the 'talk' with hubby about starting a family - I LOVED that part - it's so exciting and emotional - just makes me SO happy!
And everyone's right - you will never have enough money, don't wait for that...babies aren't that expensive, but as they get older of course they get more expensive...
You just will learn how to live so that you have what you NEED. Somehow it always works out. My BIL and SIL have 2 kids and one on the way - and make VERY little. We're talking under 20K together. THey are the happiest little family I have ever been around, so full of love. It's almost like being that poor makes them so much closer, and makes them realize what's really important. I always think of them when I want new clothes or anything!
My hubby grew up very poor - his dad is a preacher and his mom was a SATM. I don't know if you know about the salary of preachers or not - but let's just say it barely exists. HIs family is the most down-to-earth, street smart family I have ever known, and they are SO close! I love it. God will provide - and He has always helped them through hard times. I wish I was a little more like them, and I try to be!
On a side note - I have my sonogram this Wednesday to confirm boy/girl! I don't think I'll sleep until then, I'm going crazy to see my baby again 
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~Cara~
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Oh, I totally understand. We are really used to buying what we want as well. We've been on a budget for a couple of months and it's hard!! We're both the oldest children, and there aren't any babies in either of our families yet- so it would be a big deal too!
I think a last harrah sounds great. We have a cruise scheduled around my birthday (in January) that will kick off the last harrah/baby making beginning for us.
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what kind of prenatals do you guys suggest taking, the one i had had iron in it.....and messed my tummy up pretty bad i think.....any special brands or anything that is recomended over others??
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how am i missing what the heck FFSM means?????? i'm confused! i probably read it, but failed to keep the information in my brain....HELP ME
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well...we aren't financially secure i'd say, but we get by. it's true you are never "ready" financially for kids, but wahts life without a little struggling?? we both can make a decent pay check, and we have money left over for other stuff....so it works out for us....our kids may not be "privilaged" but thats what grandparents are for...haha
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based on a couple of posts in this thread about some of us wanting to have kids but sort of waiting for finances to be more steady...chinagrl said "we should start a club" and that was the name I came up with!!! Of course, NOT an exclusive club! LOL!
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You know, I just visited someone this weekend, she's a friend through other friends, but we've grown closer, and they have a cute older house, and are SO happy and fun and I found out this weekend they make probably combined what I make alone (not bad, but not much today), but they live simply and don't seem to want for anything, and that was kind of an inspiration to me. Like...do I NEED that Gap trench coat?? Not really---at best I should wait until it's $6.99 on clearance. Or..do I need to try every new makeup product on the market?? No! I think I just need to simplify overall. See...working in the Loop in Chicago can make you a little nutso after a while....
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for my checkup. I'll write on my calendar to talk to my doc about prenatal vitamins too. Even my friend in med school told me this was one of the first things she learned---start early!
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we're kid daydreamers... we'll let anyone in who's wanting to have a kid but can't do it right now for a variety of reasons!!!
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Me three!
#194347 - 07/11/05 06:06 PM
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jen1013
Reged: 05/06/05
Posts: 1322
Loc: the wabe
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I want a baby soooo bad right now! But we are also trying to do the financially secure thing. We are actually going to start trying in January. I also have my dr's appointment in September like you guys, too! We will have to compare notes.
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jen
"It's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off." -- LC
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Nice...
#194363 - 07/11/05 06:46 PM
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It's cool to have a club of people in the same situation... we will definitely have to keep each other updated.
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Mine are called Natalcare - prescription...big pink pill. Been taking them for about 2 years now and they never hurt my tummy!! In fact, I think I'll take them forever as my multi-vitamin!
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~Cara~
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I think my idea of financially secure is a little different to some of you! We just want to be able to pay all the bills without worrying each month before we start having kids. I've only been back in work (at a pittance) for 2 months having been unemployed for nearly a year. Plus cost of living round here is so much more than in most of the States.
Our kids will def. get spoiled by the grandparents (Si's parent's are pretty well off with a second house in Provence and mine are sailing/skiing nuts with their own little boat) so as long as we can afford a house and the basic stuff we'll be happy.
It's just the whole me-and-Fibro thing that makes us think it would be nice to wait until we could afford more help - it's a practical neccesity thing for us, not a luxury. I'm so scared I won't be able to look after my own baby properly.  Mark Pellegrino (fibro patient-expert) recommends that Fibro mommies get as much help round the house as poss and have as much time as poss (ie. pref. don't work for quite a while) so that all the severely limited energy of a Fibromite with a baby can go into mother-baby bonding and recovering from pregnancy and birth. I REALLY want to do it, but it does sound scary.
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Well I would be I guess if I didn't have 3 kids mouths to feed That being said we live week to week, never have money to spare for anything much at all (my indulgence is a $3 magazine once a week) however our kids never miss out. We'll go without things to insure they have anything they need and sometimes what they want and yes, grandparents are great for spoiling them. I think providing you don't have no where to live and aren't starving to death cause you can't afford food you kind of fit them into your budget (and yes, I wear 10 year old trackies round the house so mine can have brand new ones )
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Amy
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((((hugs)))) obviously I don't know if I have fibro but coming from a mum who gets so ill she can hardly move a lot I just had to say to you that you find it in you. It's strange but at the first sign of feeling ill before kids I headed for bed with my water bottle, these days I seem to be able to cope with housework, world war 3 in my living room and a billion other things while dashing in and out of the loo. And when the aches and pains and fatigue strike it's certainly no fun but you do find something in you that makes you keep going. I hope you feel confident enough to have your baby soon I think you'll be a great mummy 
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Amy
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Re: Chinagirl
#194485 - 07/12/05 07:21 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Hmm, vegatarian, I'm not really sure, sorry! I have been on Pre-Nate, they are a prescription, I'm not sure how much iron they have in them, I'll have to check when I get home. I'm IBS C and they don't bother me. I know there is one pre-natal vitamin you can get that also has a stool softner it in if you are prone to C.
I'm so glad all you girls are thinking in advance and have appts set up BEFORE you want to try, very smart! I'm sure you will all be great mommies! It looks like we will have lots of pregnant people next year!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: Linz.....
#194487 - 07/12/05 07:35 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Its got to be very difficult with the fibro. I'm lucky that I don't suffer from it but my mom does and I know some days she is confined to the bed. I guess my only advice is pretty obvious, try and have as much support as possible. Weather its grandparents to come and help when you don't feel good or a local day care, maybe a church group or other stay at home moms.
This is something I get concerned about too and I'm more or less healthy. My mom lives 2 hours away and WIlls parents 4 hours away. None of my friends have babies and all work full time. I really don't know ANYONE locally with kids, so I feel like I'm going to be all on my own. Luckily, WIll works from home so his schedule is pretty flexible. My job is so that I should be able to take baby to work 2 days a week so hopefully we will only have to pay for a day care service 1 or 2 days a week. Although we are not well off my any stretch of the imagination, I don't really have problems paying bills and I shop more than I need to, so I'm sure money will be short and our kids won't be wearing gucci but they shouldn't have to go without either! I guess I'm to the point now where I'm not worrying about it all so much, I'm just hoping it will all work out.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Re: cara
#194489 - 07/12/05 07:38 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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I'm so excited for you!!! Be sure to ask them for a picture of your ultrasound so you can post it for all of us!!!!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Thanks! Iron's not really an issue- I eat a TON of cooked green veggies and always have a very high iron count. I'm more worried about them containing gelatin, or another animal bi-product. If they all come prescription I'm sure my doctor will be able to find one that is veggie for me though.
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I know what you're saying... we live 1000 miles from our families and none of my friends have kids either. I guess we'll have to try and make some new friends who do!
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you DO have more worries than me...I'm lucky that I'm relatively healthy and active, I try not to take that for granted. I'm sure if you can find a way to get enough help you'll be great!! It's important to know yourself and what you are capable of, and to be able to ask for help, and it seems like you've achieved that already. And there's nothing wrong with needing help!! That's what families are for, right??
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Re: Chinagirl
#194496 - 07/12/05 07:43 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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I know there are some that are over the counter but I don't think they are as strong. Plus, if you have a script for them, your insurance should cover them! I might suggest calling your pharmacist and asking them before your appt. I'll look at mine when I get home but I'm not sure if theres a listing for ALL the ingredients or not.
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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That's REALLY far!!
My parents live 25 minutes away, and his about 20, so we're covered there. And we have a lot of close friends, who'd help in any way. But we don't have any friends with kids either, probably won't for 2-3 years, so I kind of worry about being the "odd ones out"...and our kids not having any peers. But I don't worry about that as much as I used to. I mean, my husband and I have each other, and our families, and that's pretty good!
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Re: Linz.....
#194500 - 07/12/05 07:48 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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Every time I mention my concerns of not knowing anyone with kids and family being so far, people tell me that once you have kids, you will meet others with kids. I guess you meet people during your birthing classes and I've been told to try and join some play groups and such that are offered at the ymca and various organizations.
I'm not sure if its a good thing or not but my overwhelming desire to have a baby has kinda but those concerns on the back burner for now. But I'm sure once I actually get pregnant and stay pregnant for a while that I will be in a panick about it! LOL!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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when I think of that, of making new friends, I think..."But I like my friends, and I don't need any new ones." Of course the ideal would be for all my friends to decide at the same time to have kids. (A problem, since some aren't even married or dating). Or at least just a few. Or one? I have one friend trying but she's in Springfield. Better than nothing!
I don't want to ditch my friends just cause they don't have kids, but I'm sure I'll want to be able to talk and share things with people who know where I'm coming from.
Well, those are hardly real problems to worry about! I'm kind of trying to just push it from my mind.
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Oh, I agree, I don't want to ditch my current friends but they are SO busy, we only get together every couple of months. One is in London right now until the fall, than will be back and forth from florida all winter working. The other is in her last year of residentcy, so also works a lot of hours.
I'm hoping Heather7476 from the boards here will get pregnant at the same time as me, she only lives about 30 minutes from me! She has one daughter and has been trying for another child for a while, so hopefully, we will get pregnant about the same time!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Eh, my best friend lives much, much further than them, so it all seems relative I guess. My friends are definitely all in different stages as well. Most of them are still living the single party life, we're all grad students. The friends I have who want kids will all be moving soon anyway. So I don't really have a choice.
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Make sure you're kids have friends from an early age. I know two different people who didn't seek friends for their kids (they were older than all the 'young' mothers) and both those kids had MAJOR social problems. When they went to pre-school they didn't know how to cope with kids or play. So if and when the time comes get them with other babies to play.
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Carol
nós somos o que nós somos e o descanso é merda
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Heh
#194524 - 07/12/05 08:49 AM
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That's true for dogs too. You have to make sure they socialize.
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Can you scan those things?? I hope we get a good picture!
Could you IMAGINE if they cancel this appt. on me?? I WOULD DIE!!!!!!!!!!
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~Cara~
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I don't think they scan unless you have a scanner that can do negatives (and those are EXPENSIVE), but who knows, you might! I would love to see the pictures too!! I totally feel for you because as I've said before, I will have no patience waiting to know the sex of my baby. Good luck!!!
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Re: I will! :)
#194611 - 07/12/05 11:50 AM
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michele
Reged: 06/02/03
Posts: 6886
Loc: southeastern michigan
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They just CAN'T reschedule this appt, that would be cruel! LOL!!
I know Rachel emailed me a copy of her ultrasound a while back so I think you can scan them in but then again, I'm not a good computer person!! They should give you a regular, black and white picture. Whenever I go in for u/s they print off a bunch of them for my file!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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Oh see, they do ultrasounds differently in real life than I remember, or they show on TV. Never mind (wanders off whistling innocently).
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They scan just like a picture. I'd love to see yours Cara!
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Yay!
#194619 - 07/12/05 12:05 PM
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Were you allowed to bring a video tape? I think it'll illegal now - at least at my place it is SO sad because my SIL's used to watch their's all the time....
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~Cara~
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Re: Yay!
#194620 - 07/12/05 12:07 PM
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RachelT
Reged: 07/01/04
Posts: 2350
Loc: Minnesota
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I don't know about bringing a video tape... we never really thought of doing that. I think some places automatically tape it for you though. Maybe you could call and find out.
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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what are your thoughts on when delivery happens....natural, or with an epidural? Sorry if this is too personal (wait--can you GET too personal on this website??), I was just wondering. I've thought about that some...I know my mom had an epidural and swears by it, but it seems nowadays a lot of mothers are trying the natural way. I'm just not sure I can handle it!
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Wow, that would be cool but I've never heard of it myself! I've always just seen them print off pictures!
Ginger asked about child birth, I'll take the drugs please! I admire the women you can do it al-natural but I really don't think I could handle it! My mom was in labor with me for 36 hours!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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That's an EASY one!
Epidural all the way! There is no proof anywhere that having an epidural harms the baby in any way, shape, or form...so why not try and make the experience less painful??
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~Cara~
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Hehe Jenny!
#194640 - 07/12/05 12:55 PM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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I was wondering what you were on about!
This is going to be so cool. I've only ever seen the piccies on tv...to actually see the picture of a real baby of someone I know...how cool is that?
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I'm going to try it without any drugs... but will have the option of getting an epidural in the back of my mind. I've heard that epidurals can increase the amount of labor time quite a bit, not only that, but so many babies are born with broken collar bones and broken necks from doctors pulling on them so hard. With a natural delivery, there's less chance of this happening because you're more in control of your pushing.
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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so Rachel, you can tell me how it was withOUT (if you make it!) and Cara, you can tell me how it was WITH! I'm looking forward to hearing about it.....
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Well, to be fair, when I got my ultrasound* it was over 12 years ago... I guess the technology has improved a bit.
*they were checking to make sure my organs were ok, NOT to look at any babies.
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Heh
#194723 - 07/12/05 02:03 PM
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Ginger, are you using the pregnant ladies on the board as guinea pigs???
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you are waiting for the PERFECT time. There is no such thing. If you wait until you have money, you'll be waiting forever.
We had no money when we had our 2 (13 months apart), and we survived. Because my pregnancies were back-to-back and I had some problems, I was unable to work.
But we survived it! And it was the best time of our lives! You just make do with what you have. Regardless of what people tell you, babies don't need much.
Wait until they're teenagers and they want cars, computers, cell phones---on top of college tuition to pay!!!
Life will always be expensive.
Suck it up and do it before you get too old. That's my 2 cents.
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Not waiting for a perfect time... just a better time. The perfect time would be after winning the lottery, the announcement of the cure for IBS, GERD, allergies, and asthma, and the news that they can extend your dog's life to be as long as yours. Barring that, I'll just finish up my course work so my school doesn't kill me.
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I'm only 28!! But I know, you're right---there IS no perfect time. I pretty much know that, I'm just trying to figure out a few more things (like daycare, etc) before I go for it. It certainly wouldn't be disaster if it happened sooner than I planned. But I'm planning to start next year. I think about it so much I even dream about it!
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when they discover how to make dogs live forever so I can safely buy a puppy knowing I won't go through that kind of heartache again. It was too much!
And I'm sure if I had a cure for asthma I could run faster than 7.5 min miles one day...
Oh! But I won't need to win the lottery, because by then my husband will have invented some genius robotics product and we'll be living off of royalties from that. But good luck to you!
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Heh...
#194744 - 07/12/05 02:27 PM
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I always tell mine he should invent some great piece of software the world can't do without. Then he tells me I should write some Pulitzer prize plays that are turned into movies.
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But the longer you wait, the older you will be when they're preteens/teenagers. And that's when you get no sleep!
A teen that's taking the car out for the first time.....loud music in the house constantly. .... chaperoning teen parties....trying to keep an eye on them when members of the opposite sex are over....it all adds up to years of NOT MUCH SLEEP!
I could go without sleep when I was younger, but when you're old (like me), you need your rest---or you're really crabby. You just can't stay awake like you used to.
Forget the financial worries. You need to be thinking about your energy level (or should I say, LACK of energy when you get older.)
If you have a baby at 40, you'd be loading up a U-Haul at age 60-something to move that little darliing into his/her apartment.
You can do it, but your body will ache for days. (Trust me. Mine hurts at 45 and 9/10ths.)
So get to work on that baby now --before you get too tired and cranky to handle that teen!
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I mean...even now if I don't get enough sleep---watch out! And don't even think about having a conversation with me until I've been up about an hour. (my poor husband).
I won't wait until I'm 40, I promise. i don't even want to wait until I'm 30. When i was in college, I thought I'd be married with one child at least by 24. Guess I'm running a bit behind....darn slow boyfriend and my darn career goals...
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Yep, it's the career goals for me. My advisor waited until she was 36 and had already been a DEAN before she had her (1) kid. She keeps urging the same on me. She'll be pissed when I tell her I'm pregnant, and frankly, I'm scared of her. But it will be worth it.
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for encouraging us to go to school and have goals!! Compare our generation to our parents and that's where the big difference is. We'll be older than our parents were when they had us, for sure. Maybe wiser though? Maybe not. More money though, for sure. I guess for that we should be grateful.
It's SO hard because it seems like there is so much opportunity out there to be had....but you gotta choose at some point, and I guess we've already decided...kids!! But I plan to work part time so I can keep my career going to.
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An hour in the morning before you get going? You gotta be kidding! When you're a parent, you don't even get a few minutes. Once that little one is up, you're up! It's worse than boot camp.
If you don't, they'll get into something in the house (like scissors, vegetable oil (mine did this!), or the dog's food.)
If you hesitate, they might drag a chair up to the kitchen cabinets, try to get their own glass, and fall (my friend's first child did this!)
Heck, if you leave them in their room to play, they might get stuck in their baby doll's Lil Tikes high chair (another friend's daughter did this. Had to call the fire dept. to get her out.)
Nope! No shut eye for you for YEARS!!!
Now you know why new mothers can't wait to go back to work. It's so much easier being at work than at home all day with an infant/toddler.
At work, you get to go to the bathroom all by yourself. You get to eat lunch sitting down. You get to wear nice clothes (with no spit on it). You get to finish an entire sentence without being interrupted.
We need to get you some baby training!!! Can you borrow a neighbor's baby to see what in the heck this will be like? And I don't mean for just a few minutes. I mean overnight. You gotta see if you can get up and fix the little one breakfast---at 5 a.m.
And yes, at some point, you gotta talk to them in the morning!
I can just see you lying in bed, the toddler pulling on your hand hanging off the bed---and you raising your head and saying, "Hey! Can you give me an hour please?"
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Well, my husband has a brother and sister who are 9 and 11, I've known them their whole lives, and held them and babysat them and all that. So I know what babies are like. I guess I should have said I can't handle "adult" conversation for an hour or so. I just can't sound very intelligent. And this is when i get up at 5:30 am for work. If I get up later, like around 7, it's better. (I think my brain sleeps until 7 even if my body gets up at 5:30)!!!
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You should do fine with baby talk early in the morning, especially if you're used to getting up at 5:30 already.
And babies, you can just cuddle with them (while you're feeding them, of course.) They don't care if you talk to them.
Ahh, I'd love to have a baby to hold --someone else's, of course!
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Actually I'll be about the same age... both my parents and my husband's parents waited a fair bit to have kids. His mom was 26 and my mom was 27! And I'm not sorry about it. I know this might not make me popular, but I would be a terrible stay at home mom. I love my job, and my research, and teaching, and I would hate to give that up. My husband is much more nurturing than me, and he'll be able to work from home a fair bit- if he could he'd be a stay at home dad. I don't want to try and make myself be someone I'm not because of what society thinks. My parents both worked and I came out fine. I don't resent either of them, I never did drugs, I'm getting a PhD, etc. Heck, my grandmas both worked and my parents came out fine. I don't plan on neglecting my kids, but I also don't plan on giving up my job either.
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My parents both worked too, and I turned out fine too!! (I think!). My husband's family is very different--his dad owns a small company (VERY small), and his mom is a stay at home mom to his two younger siblings. They are FIRMLY against moms who work. But my husband isn't, luckily. We both agreed it should be part time. I know I don't want to stop completely.
There are really no set rules to how things have to work, each family is different. What matters is that you both agree!
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I'm so scared that I won't be able to "do" having kids properly. On one hand, my logical brain thinks that maybe I shouldn't have kids in case I can't look after them properly. On the other hand, my biological clock thingy wants to run in there and race my fears.
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that there are probably a lot of women/men or families out there dealing with harder issues, and doing just a fine job of parenting. Hardly anyone's situation is perfect, and the important thing is WANTING to do a good job, and making it your priority. I mean, I wonder sometimes about celebrities, who are perfectly healthy with tons of free time and TONS of money, who still have nannies and such just because they want to go play by themselves. Or want their arms free while their walking. But when you're trying to be a good parents, and giving all you can, but still need a little help every now and then, I think that's ok. especially if your husband is on board!
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