Chinagirl
#192677 - 07/07/05 08:24 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I understand that extreme too! That's my parents! If I spend any money, my Mom freaks out and thinks we're going to go broke.
Maybe I gave you guys the wrong impression. Our boys have their share of nice things. They have cell phones, a computer in their room, etc. We bought a 3rd car when they were in high school ---not a new one, but a used Honda Civic for them to share.
They don't want for anything, believe me!
But they both have good part-time jobs, their own debit accounts they're learning to manage, and we're trying to teach them to set priorities.
They can have nice things, just not EVERY nice thing they want. What adult wouldn't want that?
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Oh no, BL, I'm sure you've done a great job with your kids! I just worry about the way people were talking about other kids in general.
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My husband is a portfolio manager who manages money for the ultra-rich (those who have a minimum of $8 million.) You should hear the stories he has to tell about his clients.
Many of them are billionaires and yet, they're paranoid that they don't have enough money. They call him and ask, "Do I have 1/2 million this month to order another yacht?"
ANOTHER yacht....yes, they're always replacing their "toys" with something bigger and nicer. It's so sad!
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My husband used to do home automation for the fabulously wealthy. Our favorite was the couple that paid a quarter of a million dollars to have rocks in their backyard moved around and then glued into place.
Now that's some ridiculous spending!!! 
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I certainly don't want to sound high and mighty by talking about the way other parents spend money. How they spend their money is their own business.
My point was that it is so hard being a parent today--- when most parents never tell their kids "No."
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This is a really good thread, excellent discussion, and I think you're doing a great job raising your sons. I'm sure they are respectful, responsible men who know that there's more to life than "things." Consumerism is out of control when it's the replacement for parental love and interaction. Do you think those girls are really happy? When I see parents buying their kids anything and everything, I wonder what they're trying to make up for. And I wonder if those kids grow up thinking they deserve anything and everything they want just because. Or do they ever think about the sacrifices their parents made so they could have all these things?
I see this happening with some cousins of mine, and one of them, a fourteen year old girl, seems very emotionally unstable. Sometimes, I can tell she just wants someone to talk to but instead her parent buys her an expensive skirt or MP3 player. Her father ran out on her when she was a toddler and her baby brother only two months old, so her mother definitely feels guilty about that and tries to cope by buying things for them. It just makes me terribly sad and concerned for my cousin; my sister and I are trying to connect with her now and encourage her to focus on interests and hobbies not just shopping.  She's a sweet girl, just really, really misguided.
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My husband always says stuff like, 'I've been waiting 28 years to tell my kids "NO" and discipline them'...because his dad would always say, 'You can do this when you have kids'. 
Kids NEED to hear NO more often!
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~Cara~
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I agree!!! I work in West Bloomfield, which is one of the richest cities in Michigan. I see this kinda thing all the time and it makes me ill! Just the other day, we had this young girl, 13 years old, came in to get an eye exam with her mother. They were both dressed expensively and rather snobby. Ok, I'm used to that, I can play along. Well, I was trying to help this girl pick out glasses and she looks at me and says "what do YOU know about fashion?" The 13 year old gilr said that to me!! Every time I tried to show her something cute, she would ask "what brand is that? If its not a Gucci, I'm not putting it on my face!" GRRR!! I wanted to SLAP this girl SILLY and her mom just stood there and didn't say a word! This girl finally picked out a pair of frames for $325!! Her total order was over $500!! For glasses for a 13 year old who will probably have them broke in a week!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I haven't.... but I've had a bad experience with ebay.
I bought a coach purse off it.. the guy sent me a fake and when I sent it back.. he claimed he never got it and dissapeared.. never to answer another email.
so now I stay away.. I lost not only 80dollars but also, had sent in the purse and lost that too. JERK.
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