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A lot of what you say here is why SIL is the way she is , by the way! She is 6 years younger than dh, when he was a pre-teen/teen designer clothes were not an option, but when she came along things were DIFFERENT... and it was NOT good for her, if you ask me! Good for you - sounds like you've raised some level headed boys!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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Nah......
#192403 - 07/06/05 03:42 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I think they're probably hoping to MARRY a doctor or lawyer....someone who will take care of them.
I just hope my sons don't fall for one of these girls! As my husband says, "They're too high maintenance!"
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Those parents are completely daft. Nuts. Screws loose and everything. And then the tuition thing really cracked me up. Talk about completely screwed up priorities!
From the time I was 7 - yes, 7! - I earned my spending money "working" for my dad at his woodworking shop on Saturdays. Yeah, I know I whined here and there as a preteen, when I wanted six Swatches and Benetton sweaters like the other girls at school had, but Mom simply said, "We can't afford it, and that's that," and that really WAS that. I definitely knew that if I wanted things like that, I had to earn my own money and buy it myself. I was NOT neglected by any means - I had nice clothes, I had all the hairspray an '80s teen could possibly need  - but I was definitely not spoiled.
And those girls, I'm sorry, are spoiled. And they'll likely be like that for the rest of their lives... boy oh boy, are they going to be in for a lot of disappointments in life, once Mommy and Daddy cut them off and they have to buy their own monogrammed designer towels. 
And if I'm ranting this much, and I'm not even a parent, that should make you feel a little better for ranting yourself! I can't even imagine trying to raise a teenager in an area like that. I'm counting my blessings now, because up here in the boonies, everyone is poor as dirt, so my theoretical someday-children won't have quite the materialistic peer pressure... I hope!
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...call you spoiled, if you appreciated everything you were getting. Knowing and understanding the value of things, and appreciating what you have, kind of negates the whole "spoiled" thing, at least in my mind. To my thinking, "spoiled" means you expect everything to be handed to you on a silver platter as soon as you ask for it, and you throw a tantrum if you can't have it.
For their sake, though, I hope those girls DO appreciate what they have. You made me have a good thought - that we really don't KNOW what goes on in the kids' heads. They may be truly appreciative for everything their parents do for them - who knows?
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Heck! I couldn't afford a car until AFTER I had worked for a year and had gotten married!!! Talk about no money!
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Boobs?
#192416 - 07/06/05 03:59 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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For a 14-year-old? OH MY GOSH! that's not only stupid, that's irresponsible of the adults.
I guess that shouldn't surprise me! My son's friend got a new BMW when he got his license at 16. What in the heck does this young man have to look forward to? It's all downhill from here!!
One local Mom ordered a custom-made bedspread, dust ruffle and matching window treatments---from an interior decorator for her son's dorm room. (My son was horrified by this thought! He said that poor guy would be teased to death.)
I had no car in high school or college, and I have to say I appreciated so much that first car I bought with my own money. (I had to get one with only 2 doors and no AC or radio, because that's all I could afford.)
LittleLisa, my sister had a Dodge Duster!!!
I don't mind young people having nice things, but they don't appreciate it when it's handed to them on a silver platter!
My son will be getting a twin comforter in the $25-$30 range---and I will use my 20 percent off coupon. It's a DORM room, not a castle!
Sorry, but this bugs the crap out of me.
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Allcia
#192419 - 07/06/05 04:03 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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What's so sad is that most of the recent college grads are back at home (living with their parents) because they can't afford to live on that measly little salary they were offered for their first job.
I'm sure they can't maintain the lifestyle they were accustomed to! They don't want to do without the nicest things!!!
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I try not to be condescending to people whose parents bought them their first car, paid for their education, bought them fashionable crap they didn't need, took them out to restaurants, took them on vacations, paid for ski and beach trips for spring break, and gave them allowance even way into adulthood. But sometimes I get short with them anyway and roll my eyes when they say "money's tight."
*rolling eyes*
~nelly~
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I dunno
#192422 - 07/06/05 04:05 PM
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My pet sitter is a college junior. She has extremely well done and expensive hair, make-up, and clothing- including designer purses and a Chanel diamond necklace. If I just looked at her, without knowing her, I would make a lot of judgments. However, she pet sits constantly to make her own money, often over school vacations when she could be with her family, and my animals (the best judges of character I know) love her. I do not agree with the way she spends her money, but she does work to be able to buy those things for herself, and though she comes across at first as spoiled and shallow, she's not. You can't judge a book by its (designer) cover, you know?
Oh- and she has a boyfriend, but he's a lowly vet tech, so she's clearly not looking for a sugar daddy.
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Michelle
#192423 - 07/06/05 04:05 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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That doesn't surprise me! That's what scares me about my boys choosing a mate. I don't want them to marry some spoiled brat who's used to getting everything she wants---and more!
Love is blind, but I hope they will go into a relationship with their eyes wide open.
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