Kids are back in school! YEAH!
#17793 - 08/19/03 06:57 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I love my boys, but I am so excited to have them back in school. This was my first summer having two teenagers that drive and they were always on the go! Or extra teens were always at our house. And of course, teenagers always want to stay up late and sleep in.
I am thrilled to be back in a routine. We actually had the entire family home for dinner tonight. Now, my boys are home in the evening, and there are no extra teens at my house! Finally, I can get to bed at a decent hour! I need my sleep! Yawn!
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Hi Beaglelover, What's the matter, you don't like the blood curdling screams of the latest horror movie in surround sound coming from your livingroom at midnight? My favorite is the stinky pizza box on the kitchen counter when I get up to have breakfast. Maybe the best part about a driving-age teen is the constant negotiating about what time is acceptable to arrive home, or maybe it is cell phone tag - trying to figure out if they are where they say they are. Don't get me wrong, I probably have it pretty easy, he is a really good kid. However, I will take great satisfaction in watching him get up at 6:00 AM for school next Wednesday. hee, hee can't wait. artist
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Oh, this is great! Someone who understands why teens drive us crazy. I had to laugh at your post about the dirty pizza boxes on the kitchen counter. In my case, it was usually shredded cheese all over the kitchen floor, because mine would make nachoes every night and drop half the package of cheese on the floor. It didn't matter if I cleaned up the kitchen before going to bed, there was ALWAYS dirty dishes in the sink in the morning. And empty soft drink cans everywhere, trash cans overflowing, dirty clothes on the floor, well, you get the picture.
What? You don't let your son stay out all night? According to my boys, NONE of the other parents insist their kids come home at a certain time. Ha! Like I'm supposed to believe that these kids' parents just allow them to stay out all night. Does he think I was born yesterday?
And yes, the cell phones are just as much a nuisance as a help. One of my boys is really good about calling and letting us know when he arrives somewhere; the other one never calls and never ANSWERS it when we call him. If we take the phone away from him (as punishment), then he loves it! Then mom and dad can't reach him when he's away. (Kind of like punishes us, not him.) Yikes! He has this figured out, doesn't he?
Yes, it was VERY satisfying lying in bed and listening to their alarms go off at 5:50 a.m. this week. After keeping me up til all hours of the night this summer and then sleeping until noon, now it's payback time!
My oldest son built a video arcade this summer (who said he wasn't a genius?). But he failed to plan one thing---How he would get the huge thing upstairs to the rec room, so it got us far as the formal living room, and there it sits in the corner!!! A beautiful accessory to my newly decorated living room. And when all the kids at the local high school heard about it, they all showed up at our house just about the time I was putting my gown on and going to bed. Do you think I could sleep with an full-fledged video arcade right below my bedroom? I've gotten more sleep since Monday than I did all summer.
Oh well, as my mother keeps reminding me, they will be in college in a few years, so just enjoy them. I'm trying ...... Are you?
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Yes, parenting teens is never dull. It is interesting how certain things are invisible to them; have you noticed that? Like the bag of trash that they literally have to climb over to get out the door. Do you think that maybe they would carry it out the door with them? Or when they wash their car in the driveway, yet do not seem to notice my dusty vehicle 2 feet away. They can never quite figure out why they don't have any clean socks or underwear after two weeks- have they looked in their gym bag lately? I guess from some of the stories my friends tell me, these are pretty minor offenses. I think I am just feeling unappreciated. My kids first day of school is next Wednesday. Yippee! Hmmm, perhaps my son should unpack his backback that still sits on the floor of his room where he dropped it the LAST day of school. I can't wait. artist
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Heee! I can't believe it! My son's backpack sat on the floor of his room all summer too, filled with junk from last year. They must make these kids from the same mold.
My oldest is going through a bad case of senioritis. He came home from school the first day of his senior year with a serious attitude problem. A friend told me this is God's plan. She said God plans it this way so that parents will be so ready for their teen to leave for college. If he gets anymore obnoxious, I will be helping him pack his bags!
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It is a riot reading your posts about your teenagers! 
Is this what I have to look forward to? My oldest is 8 and already has a bit of an attitude.
We are going through "I don't understand why you get to do something and I can't, or the classic, "I am the boss of my own body. You can't tell what to eat or when to take a bath". I just tell him until he is 18 years old I am the boss of this house. It is funny listening to an 8 year old trying to reason with me and all I can think of is he will get smarter with age and will beable to reason better. 
I hope I have some good older moms around to give me lots of advice on parenting teenagers. My husband and I will have 3 three boys in high school at the same time. Isn't that a scary thought? 
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Barbara, It feels like my children were just 8 yrs old yesterday! The time just seems to fly by. I mean, I swear I was just in high school myself, wasn't I?  I have a daughter who is a Freshman and a son who is a Senior. Don't get me wrong, there are definate perks to having older children. No more car seats, better yet, YOU CAN LEAVE THEM HOME. Do you remember what it is like to go to the mall or grocery store BY YOURSELF? It is fabulous. You and your husband can be a couple again. Just think, no need for a babysitter; you can go out to dinner with your husband any time you want. When you go to the beach or pool, you can sunbathe! No need to chase the children or prevent them from drowning. THEY carry in the groceries! You no longer need to force them to shower or bathe. Unfortunately, this part backfires because they shower at least 3 times a day. Each time leaving smelly clothes and wet towels. If the towels are not on the floor they will be crammed so tight in a ball on the towel bar that they could never possibly dry. Also, remember how soap and shampoo was enough to get your children clean? They now require scrubs, creams, washes, rinses, exfoliators, razors, gels, mousse, and thousands of other aids just to accomplish what soap used to do. All of these items are strategically placed around the ENTIRE bathroom. They emerge squeaky clean, however the bathroom is a shambles. Another perk is that they can cook for themselves (sort of), they will not starve without you. Mine have not completely mastered the art of cleaning up after this "cooking". Oh they do, but I often find bits of dried egg on my favorite skillet when I go to use it.
One bit of advice, you may want to abandon the "when you are 18" excuse. My son will be 18 in October, and he is just a Senior in high school. This is definately not the time you want them to decide "you are not the boss of me". You may want to revise it to "as long as you live in my home" or "because I am the Mom and it is my job to make sure you are taken care of and safe".
My best advice to parents of younger children is, NEVER let your children talk back to you, be fresh or disrespectful. This will only get worse as they get older. Do not let them question your authority. Of course it goes both ways, you must always be courteous and respectful as well. They model your behavior good and bad. My children may be typical messy teens but they are never disrespectful. I can live with the little annoyances if they do not give me a hard time about the big stuff.
I may complain, but I know my heart will ache when they move on. Enjoy them while they are young because it goes very quickly. Best, artist
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three boys in high school at the same time. I will start praying for you now! That means you will have 3 in college at the same time. Are you saving money for that NOW? My friend said her daughter's expenses at a state university will be around $1,000 a month. Just think, I get to double that figure, and you will have to triple it!
As to the attitude problem, nip it in the bud now. I wish I been stricter on mine when they were younger. Try disciplining a 6 ft., 2 inch, 175 lb. teenage boy and you get the picture of how difficult it can be.
No wonder I have stomach problems. I worry about them driving, riding with other kids I don't know, girlfriends, drug/alcohol use, the SAT, college visits and applications, their future after high school, AP classes, senior school project, essays, research papers, curfews, cell phone use, money management, part-time jobs, etc.
My oldest wants to apply to a university graphic arts program that requires an art portfolio for entrance, on top of the application and 3 essays. Of course, I forgot to mention high school graduation and my parents' 50th wedding anniversary shortly afterwards. Someone just shoot me!
Then, just think, next year the process will start all over again with my other son. Barbara, just enjoy those boys while they're little----and the more you keep them busy with sports and other activities, the less they will get into trouble! (Actually, mine are very good kids; it's just dealing with all these issues that is a pain.)
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And it seems to happen overnight. One day I was substituting at my son's school and he loved having his mommy there and the next day, I waved at him, and he was mortified!
Your description of the messy bathroom could not have been any more accurate. Every morning I walk to my boys' bathroom and spread the wet towel out onto the towel rack. My husband tells me to leave it. Has he ever smelled a towel after it hangs wet like that all day? (of course not-- he's a guy.)
Oh, and their bedrooms, yuck! Clothes all over the floor, candy wrappers, empty Coke cans, sunflower seeds everywhere---and my son wonders why he can't find that $89 calculator we bought him last year for math class. If I so much as rearrange one item in his room, he has a fit when he comes home later. "Now I can't find anything!" he says. How could this be? Does their brain work only when things are chaotic?
And I must say, him having a driver's license has its pros and cons. I sent him to Wal-Mart to buy his own school supplies this year, which was nice. I asked him to buy several Little Debbie snacks (99 cents) for the lunchboxes and he came home with giant boxes of Twix candy bars, Oreos, Pop-Tarts, pizza-flavored Cheez Nips, you get the picture. That will teach me to send a guy shopping for food. (my husband would've picked up the same junk, believe me!)
And I think the lady at the local bank thinks I'm crazy. I go through the ATM and then ask her to break all of my large bills. Never would I give my teenager one of my twenties! Does she think I'd ever see the change?
I gave my boys my debit card and a budget and told them to pick out their own school clothes. One son immediately said, "That's not enough!" I told him, "Tough. Everybody has a budget to work with." I whispered the PIN number to him and warned him not to write it down anywhere. If he forgot it, he was to call me. Sure enough, the phone rings later and he says, "Mom, are these shoes too expensive?" After discussing the pros and cons of athletic shoes on the phone, I thought we were finished. The phone rings a second time and he's whispering, "M-O-M! What's that PIN number again?" So cute! He's learning. Maybe one day they will have their own apartment and actually spread their towel out on the rack. We're working on it.
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Change?
#17941 - 08/21/03 07:25 AM
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artist
Reged: 05/28/03
Posts: 132
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Change back from a teen? Are you kidding? The only person that gives me change back is the guy at the gas station. artist
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I have lived on my own for 7 years, but it seems like just yesterday that I was living at home....and let me tell you ladies, you have explained my room to a "T."
The worst part was that my apartment was much the same until I went to a few of my friends places and they were so clean - now I can't imagine living in the mess I had then.
Just rest assured - if you taught them how to clean and cook they will remember when their parents aren't there.
They say god blesses you with a children twice as bad as you were. Well, I wasn't a bad child (never skipped curfew etc) But hopefully they aren't twice as messy as me!!! YIKES!!! I will not be able to find my kids.
Good luck Ladies LOL
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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You are so right! When I complain to my Mom, she just smiles with great satisfaction. What goes around comes around. I can't wait for grandchildren. artist
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Re: Pay Back
#17949 - 08/21/03 07:52 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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My parents just happened to be here visiting from out of town when school started for my boys. While they were here, it seemed like all I did was argue with my boys over every little thing. As my oldest stormed upstairs saying, "Only 174 more days and I'm outta here!" I held my breath just waiting for my parents' reaction.
My Dad shook his head and said, "Don't be so hard on 'em. All teens go through this. He'll be away soon and you'll wish you had him home." It kind of made me sad because I remember what a hard time I gave them in high school. I must have made their lives hell, and yet, they still loved me.
I told my son once, "You are being so stubborn!" and my mother just shook her head, smiled, and said, "I wonder where he gets that from?" It IS payback time!
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YIKES!!! I am so in for it then!!! LOL
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Re: Pay Back
#17957 - 08/21/03 08:19 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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My sister has an 8-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter. My husband and I had to shake our heads and laugh recently when she said, "Oh, I don't think we will have to worry about having problems with Jessica when she gets to be a teenager. She's always been so sweet." Yikes! She has no idea these sweet kids turn into little demons when they get to the pre-teen age!
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why are you scaring me already about teen years?lol
I know we need lots of prayers starting now. I was at my children's school today paying those unwanted school fees and I ran into their principal and asked her if she is ready to have all three of my boys in school this year. She said oh sure I am. I raised three boys and know how to put them in their place.
On a more serious note I am very strict with my boys. I feel I have to be. My husband and I don't let them watch the tv shows their friends get to watch, they don't have to pokemon cards, and the Play Station stuff. Neither of us grew up with it and we are fine (probably better off than most people).
I let my kids play the computer while I showered a year ago and they were playing games on Disney. When I got out of the shower they were laughing and saying look at those butts. I walked in the room and someone hacked into Disney with cartoon porn. Can you believe people do that?! 
Now the rule is an adult has to be in the room with them.
Raising kids today is a challenge, but I wouldn't give back my boys.
To answer your question BL about saving money for College. We have not started, because we don't have the money to do it. My husband hasn't had steady work for two years. We had to sell stock this week to pay our bills.
Today was my first day of classes and I am going back to school to become a RN. I already know I have to work full time when my boys start High School just to pay the food bills!  lol Hopefully our money situation will get better in the next few years so we can start saving.
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Barbara
#18125 - 08/22/03 06:22 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Oh, Barbara, forgive me! I didn't mean to get you worried about the teenage years. I was just joking around, just like people kid about the "terrible two's." Sometimes it just helps parents of teens to vent about the crazy things their teens do.
After all that kidding about my boys, I must say they are great kids. They both are honor roll students---my oldest is very gifted in the areas of computer/arts/photography; my youngest is a wonderful golfer. It amazes me that they have these gifts. I certainly don't have any of these talents! All kidding aside, it has been a joy watching them develop as individuals. My boys are total opposites in looks, personality and interests; no one can believe they are brothers, but that is what makes parenting them so interesting (and sometimes so challenging.)
It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of raising your three boys. I know people say this to you all the time, but just enjoy them now, because once they get that driver's license (or start riding with other teens that do), you really don't have that much "control" over what they do. Once they have this independence, you just have to pray that you have guided them in their younger years and that they will make wise decisions on their own when you are not around. It's a scary thing sometimes, but, as my husband says, you just have to trust that they will do the right thing.
I think it's great that you are stablishing rules for the computer, PlayStation and tv. Many parents don't monitor this at all, and that's where the problems come in.
I also admire you for going back to school. I know that can't be easy while raising a family. Congratulations and good luck to you in your classes as you pursue a nursing career.
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I totally agree with beaglelover. Parents in general just need to vent. Any complaining I do is really good natured. I could not be prouder of my kids; they are the absolute joy of my life. Both children are honor students and play in the school orchestra. My daughter is Freshman class president. Neither has given us an ounce of trouble. If all I can complain about is messy rooms, memory lapses, and a house full of unruly friends, believe me I count my blessings! Do not be afraid to have teenagers. If you do a good job from the time they are little you won't have any problems. Even if a difficult situation comes up when they are teens, you have built a good relationship and will be able to handle it. Parenting is the most difficult job in the world to do right, but the rewards are without measure. artist
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Meike is worse now than at two. Now she mouths back and she knows what she is doing when she does something wrong. Thank God they are cute at this age. Yesterday we were using crayola WASHABLE paints and I went in the other room to get more construction paper. I said "Don't touch this till I get back" Meike came in the room and said "Mommy don't look at my paper" I knew what that meant. I came out and there was a big glob of green paint on her paper. At least it didn't go anywhere else. We had a discussion on how important it is to listen to mommy and daddy. I guess we just have to work on that. I am content right now with this age. Even if they keep me on my toes. It is amazing how different kids can be.
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Torbetta,
I remember the terrible threes! Who ever came up the phrase, "the terrible twos", must have been drinking at the time. My boys were much worse at three and believe me they grow out of the threes.
I love their ages now (5,7 and 8). We can go outside now and play softball, soccer and basketball and actually keep score. Right now they are all outside catching bugs to have as pets. My 8 year old just came and asked me what can he feed his fly. I told him I don't know. He keeps pursing the subject and asked what is your guess what a fly eats. I told him smaller bugs. Now he is looking for smaller bugs.
I've found every year my kids get older - it becomes more fun. Enloy those little ones.
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I have laughed my way through all of these posts. You all did such a great job describing the chaos, mess, and "wild times" when teens are at home. Everyone needs an arcade under their bed at midnight all summer! We have had teens in our home for 12 years now and have 10 more years to go--we have 6 kids and it takes a while to move that many through the teen years. Our oldest son will soon be 26 and our youngest child is 9.
One of the things I love most about teen-agers is that they are now "real" people. You can discuss adult subjects and expect them to have an opinion. They have interesting ideas and teach you so much. There is an amazing transformation that happens at around 20 that you can look forward to with great anticipation, it is when your teens realize that you did, indeed, know what you were talking about. I remember our oldest calling from college at about 20 and saying with incredulity in his voice, "Everything you told me about life was true! You were right!" That delicious day will be here before you know it. And, just as your parents before you particularly enjoyed watching your travail in coping with your teens, you will enjoy watching your kids with their kids. I have two grand-kids and it is a particular delight to watch them behave just like their dad did. HeHe!
I remember sitting on the front row at our oldest son's wedding, as mother-of-the-groom in my fancy dress, thinking, "How in the world did this happen so fast!?! He was just born! He was just a child! Where did the time go?" You will look back on these days with fond memories just like every other stage of parenting, but with the sense of accomplishment for having survived!
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