Starting to panic...
#167443 - 04/06/05 01:05 AM
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doubletrouble
Reged: 11/14/04
Posts: 1530
Loc: Canberra, Australia
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Hi guys. Need a whinge. So you all know DH is leaving in 6 days for his 6 weeks army training, but now, he applied to work for leave for the weekend so we could at least spend a day or 2 together before he leaves (he's working 12 hour nights atm, so we don't see each other at all) and his boss won't give him the time off. He told him too many of the boys mrs's are having babies atm and he can't fill the position and he doesn't care that DH is going away for 6 weeks straight  I know it's not the bosses fault that he can't fill the spot but I feel so let down and disappointed, and depressed. DH told me this morning that he'll be working till Monday, sleeping all day Monday then leaving Tuesday morning. I've spent all day trying to hold the tears in and be strong cause I don't want the kids to get upset about it, and it makes it harder on DH to go every time I get sad so I just try not to get sad when he's around. But every night when I go to bed I obsess about how much I'm going to miss him, and how I'm going to cope with the kids on my own while he's away (I know, I know, I should be strong enough to cope with my kids on my own, sadly I'm not). I need hugs guys! Please send me some! 
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Amy
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Hi!
I am so sorry you are feeling so upset, I think you have every right to be! Anyone in your position would be feeling emotional if their husband was going away for that long after not being able to spend any time with him.
I would be angry with his boss too - I guess he doesn't have any choice, but I can appreciate where you are coming from as he has such a good reason to want the time off.
If he sleeps all day Monday, does that mean you can spend Monday night together? Maybe you can try and plan something special for the two of you to do before he leaves Tuesday morning.
And just think, maybe the 6 weeks away will make him miss you terribly and be extra extra wonderful and lovely to you when he gets back - absense making the heart grow fonder and all that. 
And you know that while he is away, we will be here for you to support you and keep you company and I am sure the time will go by faster than you think. It seems like it always does!
You ARE strong enough to cope with your kids on your own, even if you don't feel like it right now. It's amazing how capable we are and never really realise it until we need it - you will miss him, of course but you will be okay without him and you can be strong and you be strong and we will help you however we can.
I am sending lots of hugs your way, and you can eMail me any time you want someone to talk to or anything.
Try to stay as positive as you can and just make the time between now and when he goes as pleasant as possible so you'll have nice thoughts to keep close to you while he is away.
***lots and lots and lots of hugs***
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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three kids all by your self is a ALOT to handle! You have every right to scared.. and every right to miss hubby.
hopefully the six weeks will fly by.
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I understand how you feel. My hubby previously worked in Minneapolis, Cincinnati and elsewhere so he was gone all week long and we saw him for a day and a half on the weekend. So I know what you're going through. It's a handful to have to deal with kids all by yourself, too. Often times, my hubby gets home so late and leaves so early in the morning that he doesn't even see the kids while they're awake. It makes for a very long day for me because I have no time to myself until they go to bed and by then I'm exhausted. Is there anyone around that can give you a hand while he's gone? Some family or friends that can give you a break here and there? How old are your kids? You should not expect yourself to look after the kids ALL the time. Speak up and ask for some help. It's a common misconception that we can look after babies 24/7. Or that it's easy. The women did it in the 50's, but a lot of them had emotional breakdowns and such. Don't expect too much of yourself. Ask for help. You are allowed to have time to yourself - it'll make you a happier and better Mommy. Hang in there. Sending you a great big hug.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Hugs, hugs and more hugs!!!! Don't have and real advice to offer but wanted to show my support!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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is it doesn't matter what's going on with your health or in you life you still have time and energy to care about other people (which is more than I can say for a lot of "healthy" people out there).
Hansolo, yes, I have the girls in day care every Friday. I also have the in-laws, but they're busy a lot with their own life and it's not the same as having my parents here where I could call up and say "take the kids! Mental breakdown happening!" and have them pick them up for a while.
Kahlea is 5 so at least she'll be at school a lot of the time (except the first 2 weeks which are school holidays) and the twins are 2 1/2 and smack bang in the middle of the terrible 2's! I think I could handle them a lot better if they weren't into EVERYTHING! They're the kind of kids that are in the cutlery drawer, playing in the cd cabinet, escaping out the back door, and that's all in 4 minutes! They're just busy, busy, busy
Steph, thank you for your hugs. I know you have SO much going on in your own life right now. Hugs right back, I hope it settles down a bit soon!
Okay, enough waffling for now.
Thanks again everyone 
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Amy
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Amy, do you watch that desp.housewives show? You just reminded me of that woman and her three uncontrollable boys! I'm sure you will cope admirably!
Ralph
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Yep I love it. She's my favourite cause other than the fact she's about 15 years older than me and has boys she's me all over! (Well I'm not addicted to my kids Ritalin either, thank goodness)! My kids are exactly like smaller versions of hers with long hair! And thanks heaps! I hope I will.
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Amy
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Amy - I can certainly sympathize with you! I have two little girls - 7 & 5..my husband is in the Navy. He is out to sea right now asamatter of fact..oy. But, if we can cope with IBS - I am SURE we can stongly deal with hubby's being away - (even though it stinks). We are counting the days - literally, on the calendar till he comes home. I don't have much family in the immediate area..so, I can't even go to the market without them - oy. We were going to do another tour in Hawaii, but..long story short..we will retire out (after 20 years of Navy life) to Florida next September. Write me anytime if you want to talk.
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Lisa
IBS-C, pain predominant
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