Hi, feeling better about my Uncle Dick and life in general!
#160852 - 03/15/05 05:09 PM
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LauraSue
Reged: 01/14/04
Posts: 4812
Loc: New York City
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Thanks so much to everyone for your support and comfort this past week. It was really an emotional rollercoaster for me, but I'm finally starting to feel a little better yesterday and today. The news of my Uncle Dick's death and the horrible details around it triggered a flare of my fibromyalgia fatigue and pain. I was basically bedridden all day Saturday and Sunday. But life goes on. Dick will be mourned and remembered. And I have learned a valuable lesson about my limits, about how much bad news affects me physically, about how much I'm comfortable knowing about family secrets, about how powerless I am to truly know what another person is going through, much less help them. I've been trying too hard to be the "family hero," the one who keeps the family together by sheer force of will, the one who makes the phone calls with bad news, the one who keeps in touch with everyone and passes along family news, the one who attends all the weddings and funerals and graduations, the one who's always there for everyone.
No one appointed me to that position, no one asked me to do it, no one said they'd be upset if I didn't. So I resign. It was foolish of me to keep trying, given my health. So from now on, I'm going to remember that I'm disabled, that I'm a fabulous invalid, that I'm the one who needs taking care of. And if the rest of the family even notices the change I'll be very surprised.
This has been a very humbling experience. And that's good because it reminds me that I'm human, just like everyone else. Not better than, not less than, just the same. Good and bad, strengths and weaknesses, mistakes and successes. And you know what, just being human sounds real good to me right now.
Bless you all and thanks again for your kind help.
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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Glad to hear you're feeling so much better and more positive Laura Sue. Don't stop caring, just do what you are able to do without making yourself ill. And if no-one notices that you've stopped then you'll definately come off the winner (health wise). Big hugs. Rest up and look after yourself.
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Amy
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Post deleted by Jeano
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HI Laura Sue,
I have been so concerned about you, glad to know you are tryig to rest, sorry to hear about your fibro flare up.
It sounds like it is time for you to start thinking of yourself, and if backing off from being the family agent, then backing off it is.
Good for you, so many people never recognize the need for them to back off and let others take over if they will. IT is a good thing your you to do.
Iknow the death of your uncle has left a void in your life and heart. you will never forget how much you love hima and how much he means toyou!
Thinking of you honey and hoping you are able to get your rest! gayla
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Sweetie, you're a star. But even stars can't fix everything. Keep your spirits up and the Fibro at bay...remember to keep #1 as #1!
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Thankyou for sharing this.
You were NOT foolish of you to keep tring! You were caring, loving, giving----very LS! 
This is NOT your fault! And I am thankful you recognize that. Your job is to take care of you....and you are doing a job well done 
Just want you to know I'm here for you in any way I can be......sending you lots of love and hugs and prayers
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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LS, I'm glad that you are feeling better about this. You cannot let this affect your physical health. I agree with Ruchie---you need to take care of yourself.
You sound like you have taken on too much when it comes to your family. Let someone else be the one who nurtures everyone----and you think of yourself, for a change!!!!
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We all want waht's best for you and to see you happy.
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Thanks everybody! You're all the BEST-EST!!!!
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Laura
Keep it simple!
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Laura Sue,
You sound so much better and that makes me happy!  It really sounds like you are finding peace with all this. I pray you continue to heal and find the balance between the the caring, loving Laura Sue, and the point where you are investing so much of yourself that it becomes unhealthy for you. That is a hard place to be. But you have a good grasp of this, and you are aware of your limits.
Bless you for being such a special, loving person. Please continue to take care of YOU!!
Love to you. 
Bethie
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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