Tina
#150324 - 02/15/05 10:55 AM
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Kimm
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 1171
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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I just wanted to say....I know you've been going through some really tough times with your boyfriend. You should know that you're not alone....we're all here for you and think you're great. *HUGS*
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Kimm's right Tina! We love ya and we're always here for you! *hugs* Keep strong! 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ditto that!!
#150334 - 02/15/05 11:05 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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You're great, and I hope you're having the kind of great day you deserve!
~nelly~
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Thanks so much Kim, I am really touched.
I am going through *hell* these days.  Yes. It's extremely tough and very complicated (you guys only know half the story). I wish I could snap my fingers and everything could be perefct.
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Thanks Ruchie. I do need a big hug!
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Thanks Nelly. Today's no better, I'm afraid. Worse than yesterday actually.
Being with him on V-day was so hard for me as he kept telling me that he loved me, etc. I felt horrible.
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Re: Tina
#150345 - 02/15/05 11:12 AM
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mindyj
Reged: 05/14/04
Posts: 494
Loc: Northern Virginia
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Tina,
I do hope that you get things cleared up soon. I'm sure it's not easy to sort all this out in your head. It does sound like a pretty rotten situation (and as you said - I don't even know the half of it). But we are here for you if you need to vent (boy stuff, tummy stuff, work stuff, ect.) and we'll be thinking about you!
<<<<<<<hugs>>>>>>>>>
Min
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Thanks Mindy. 
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Re: Tina
#150358 - 02/15/05 11:30 AM
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Kimm
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 1171
Loc: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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I wish there was something more I could do to help you out. I can totally relate to a horrible relationship. I've been through some pretty terrible things myself when it comes to this kind of stuff.
Please don't hesitate to email me if you need to talk about it: fixion88@hotmail.com
*HUGS*
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Thanks Kim, I just might email you.
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Re: Tina
#150363 - 02/15/05 11:36 AM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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*MAJOR HUGS* Wish you the best of luck with this. Relationship stuff stinks, just do what you need to be happy. You're such a wonderful lady, you deserve to be happy!
--------------------
Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Thanks Melissa! That's nice of you to say.
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My e-mail is Ruchily@yahoo.com.
You're really special Tina! I don't know the whole story...half the story...whatever. But if you're not happy that's what counts!
You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to do what is best for you. So what if he is being sweet now? Is he always this way? Maybe he knows something's up withyou and he's trying to win back your heart?
In any case...if tihs guy isn't good for you all of the time...that's what counts!
It hurts me to see you hurting.
I'm alwasy here for you *hugs* And now you have my e-mail!
You're always letting me know how tough I am and that I can do it. Take your own advice...it's true advice and it's GOOD advice!
Sending love, prayers, and good vibes your way.....
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ok, here's a bit of our history...
We have been together for 10 years. He used to be very fun and outgoing for years. I think when we moved in together I noticed a huge change. He is obsessive-compulsive about cleaning. No joke. He almost follows me around making sure I don't dirty his floor and kitchen. I thought I could handle it. Not so easy. He makes me feel like a slob. And he's called me that plenty of times.
Here's my dirty laundry list with him:
- he's very controlling
- neat freak
- loves to bicker about just about anything
- no respect for me (tells me I'm not intelligent and that he has a hard time holding a serious conversation with me.
- he doesn't make me happy
- he is no longer fun or laidback (I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him)
- I don't want to spend another 10 years with him -- no way!
- is horrible when I'm sick and gives me no support
- puts me in so many bad moods because he is so moody
- my friends have started telling me that he treats me "disgustingly"
- the list could go on and on....
** oh ya, there's no passion left and getting him to kiss me is like pulling teeth! **
The problem is that I still love him and some of these things he has kinda worked on. He has no idea that I am ready to leave and after 10 years, it will break his heart. He would never hurt me but I hate to see him so devastated. I can never be friends with him and could never go back to him. It would have to be a final goodbye and never ever see him again. Very hard thought to accept when I have seen him almost very day for the past 10 years.
Can anyone knock some sense into me?
Oh ya, I met someone that is great and so unlike him and I want to be single so I can pursue this.
Edited by Sara-Sage (02/15/05 12:07 PM)
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I wish for you clarity! Clarity to know what's truth and to see things as they are. Once you have clarity (not saying you don't...but just in case!) it's easier to make the best decision. *BIG HUGS*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Thank so much Ruchie. I am tough but when it comes to him I have no control. He walks all over me and I'm sick of it! 
I should take my own advice!!!!
Thanks for your email address. 
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{{{HUGS}}}
#150380 - 02/15/05 11:57 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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How horrible for you. At the end of the day, if he's not good for you, then is it worth it? Would he make more of an effort to be nice if he knew you were this unhappy?
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I'm just curious why you can't be friends with him after you break up. I understand that it's difficult at first, and you want to have your independance, but why can't you be friends with him? Probably not my business... I was just wondering. I've always tried to continue friendships with all of my ex-boyfriends.
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Hi Linz. I have brought this up with him a million times and he always turns in around to be my fault.
About the cleaning, he'll say that I need to clean way more and then he wouldn't have to bug me. He is in denial.
It isn't worth it. No.
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Because he could never ever see me date anyone else. Because we'd get back together. He would try to get me back. I know that for a fact.
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Yes Ruchie, you're so right! Thanks. :o :grin:
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Ah... ok! That's too bad that he's that controlling! Whatever the outcome... I hope things work out for you Tina! Good luck!
HUGS!
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Try reading your previous post (the story) as if it was someone else's story. Often I find this little technique does wonders for clarity.
I'm hesitant to say it, but it seems really obvious that it's time to screw your courage to the sticking place and get out. I mean, listen to this as if it was someone else: Quote:
I don't want to spend another 10 years with him -- no way!
If anyone else said that to you, your advice would be, of course, cut the cords now, no matter how difficult.
I've been there and done this with someone I was with for 7 years. It was apparent that it couldn't possibly work, apparent not just to me, but to everyone else, except him. He had "kinda worked on" some things, which made me keep hanging on to hope that there would be improvement, but in the end I had to realize that there was no more I could do for him and I had to take care of myself. My life was slipping away!
So here's what happened- for a long time I watched many of my girlfriends get married, buy houses, have kids, and I thought, howcome I don't get to have that? Here I am stuck with this loser who's never gonna get a life. And then one night (I'm not much on "hearing voices", but I swear to God this happened!) I heard this voice that said, "You can have that stuff too, you just have to go get it."
So I did.
What I had to do was make absolutely sure I'd done everything I could before I walked away- and when I walked away, like you, I never saw him again. Which is really sad. I'm someone who prefers a much more rational approach to breakups, and I'm very cordial with every "X" I've ever had, except this one.
But if that can't happen, it can't happen, and you can't forestall taking care of your needs too much longer.
You know what you need to do! Now do it!
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Tina, don't worry about him! That's his problem...to worry about him. YOU need to worry about YOU!
He has broken your heart SO many times. Telling you you're unintelligent (that makes me wanna smack some sens into him...you're VERY bright Tina...he's just blind!), a slob...oooooh that makes me mad!
Men that are controling have issues. You don't need that! Don't you want to be someone healthy and encouraging? Someone that brings you tea EVERY time your tummy hurts? I'm not saying you want a guy that will follow you around and bring you tea every second (if that IS what you want--find him!) but this guy just soundsso mixed up and unsupportive. Who wants that? Yuck!
It sounds to me like you know what you want to do. But when push comes to shove it's hard to do.
And the truth is I can't understand as I've never been in a relationship for 10 years.
I can say that I can't imagine being married to any of the guys I dated that were controlling, abusive in any way, or just plain not right for me!
The only advice I can give you is to do what you know is right. Do what is best for TINA!
Love isn't always enough. He may love you too...but if he can't show it in healthy, loving, giving ways...what good is it?
Funny story: Hubby and I got 2 Chihuahuas before we got our wonderful lab/shepherd mix Shana. The Chis were Ben and Jerry. Ben was 8 Jerry 4. We did a trial rescue adoption with them. We had to give them back! Ben was VERY controling! He wanted to sleep on hubby's pillow. He owuld bite you if you didn't give him what he wanted. We liked Jerry...cute AND fun. But they came as a pair. Hubby and I talked about it a LOT. Ben's personality just brought us down. He would zap all our energy. We gave them back!
Now we have Shana. The perfect dog for us. Fun loving, sweet, light hearted. She ADDS to our lives...instead of taking away from life.
I hope that you find a man that will add to your life instead of zapping your energy. You're too precious to have anything less!
Love ya girl! *hugs*
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ruchie
#150390 - 02/15/05 12:16 PM
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Very well said Ruchie!
Even if he loves me taht is not enough. That's what I will tell him.
He doesn't see any of my good qualities at all. that makes me furious. I mean I've never tried to impress him because it just can't be done!!!!
It is HIS problem! You're so right. Not my problem!!!
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You say that he would never hurt you...but he DOES hurt you! Stop defending him! He says you are unintelligent...what a fool he is! TINA...see things as they are! Your job in life is NOT to protect him!!! Your job is to take care of YOU....cause if you don't, who will?
I know my words are harsh...but they're true. (And it hurt me to say them...but a REAL friend will say the truth even it hurts...).
I'm here for you *hugs*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Good for you Tina! You have it in you to do ANYTHNG you want! I believe in you...always have...always will! *big hugs*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I ahve had two good friends tell me like it really is recently. It hurt me to hear but was necessary. She also said that if I stayed with him she doens't want to hear abot him anymore.
What gets me the MOST is his friends telling their GF's who ahve told me that the way he acts is awful. They all say I should have left him YEARS ago. Make sme wake up to hear that!!! 
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God, I should do it TONIGHT!
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Sounds like you have good friends who know what they're talking about!
Wow, that's awful! If his friends even see it...yikes!
Tina...you know what to do...and we're all hear for you as you make your move. So keep talking to us...it's what we're here for *hugs*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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You hit the nail on the head. I see all my friends getting married to the guys they were dating when we met, they all ahve homes, take vacations and I want all that. I think that's why I've stayed with him. I don't think I can have that without him? No true. He's VERY bad with money and we'll never get a house at this rate...
You're right! What the heck am I waiting for?????
Thanks Paula!
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--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
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It sounds to me like I know exactly where you're coming from. Here's what I think: I think it'll happen- you'll leave him when you're ready, and you'll know precisely when that is. Seriously, it's like you'll hear a tumbler in a lock click and you'll say to yourself, "it's time."
The good news is that you'll march onward and you'll make damn sure to claim the life you want after having come so close to @#$%^ing it away before. I got the good man and the house (didn't get the kids cause we decided we didn't want them  )
In my case, and maybe in yours too, this bitter ending got to be about trying to take more care of him than I was taking care of me. I really had to come to terms with the fact that there was no more that I could do for him! I couldn't fix him.
But you can, and you must, do what's gonna make your life what you want it to be.
All my best wishes from a "big sister" who's been there. Hope this is helpful to you.
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Tina,
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time of it. You have been feeling this way for quite some time. It sounds to me like you are getting ready to move on with your life. It is a hard decision to make when you have been with someone for 10 years but I agree with Ruchie, you have to put yourself and your happiness first. You can't worry about him. It doesn't sound like he looks after you and your feelings and in fact puts you down. Not the makings of a happy relationship.
Don't think of the past 10 years as a waste. Everything we experience in life makes us the people that we become. I have had a really difficult time through the years realizing this. You can't spend your time regreting. Use your energies for positive thoughts and actions. You will feel much better.
Life is too short to spend it feeling miserable. I am sending you good thoughts, prayers and hugs.
--------------------
Janey
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Tina honey, I think you know what to do, and that you need to do it, YOU JUST NEED TO DO IT NOW! You do NOT have to put up with any of that. And quite frankly, he is hurting you, he's emotionally abusing you, and that is not right nor do you have to take. Please do something, you deserve to be happy and to not have to put up with this.
Let us know if you need ANYTHING. My email is in my profile if you need someone to talk to.
--------------------
Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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I know he is hurting me. I have to remind myself of that!
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Paula,
I really can't fix him. Not sure what the heck all his anger is even about???
I thought I would dump him tonight but have realized that I need to find a new apt. before I do that. So I will start looking and pray that I can afford to live on my own. I was going to move in with a friend but she's allergic to cats. Darn.
I'd love to have you as a big sister!
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What a tough situation to be in.
First of all....even though he doesn't mean to hurt you, he does. You shouldn't be expected to put up with it. Someone telling you that you're not intelligent (basically insulting you) is not desirable or even tolerable in a boyfriend.
I understand that you still love him. Of course you do!! 10 years is a long time to spend with someone. The question is....are you in love with him? Sometimes no matter how much we love someone it doesn't mean that they are right for us. You've spent 10 years with him and I know for the past 3 or 4 months (at least) you've been terribly unhappy in the relationship. How many more years are you going to spend being unhappy? No matter how sorry you feel for him....feeling sorry for someone isn't a reason to stay.
Of course it's going to be difficult to not see or talk to him anymore but you can and will get through it. You know we are all here for you!! The longer you drag this on with him the harder it's going to be in the end. Especially now if he's thinking about proposing.
If you've met someone who you're interested in and you want to pursue him then that should tell you something right? Would you want to be with a guy that wanted to be with another girl? Probably not....so it's more fair to your boyfriend as well to deal with this sooner than later.
I hope I don't sound preachy....that's not my intention. I know this is a really hard situation to be in....*HUGS*
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Hi Tina
#150423 - 02/15/05 01:32 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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Hi there,
I am so sorry that you are going through this, it really does sound like a nightmare.
I can relate to what you are going through with the clean freak thing, Adrian is exactly the same way. I have gotten like 200 times neater and more tidy since we have been together, but it is never good enough and it does make me feel bad a lot. I say this because it makes me so on edge sometimes that I can't imagine having that pressure AND all the other stuff you are talking about - I can't imagine being strong enough to take all that on a daily basis.
I remember you saying in other posts how your boyfriend is not supportive of you when you are sick and that just breaks my heart - I think that since feeling poorly is going to be a part of our lives (hopefully only in small, infrequent doses!!) and that the people we love have to learn to understand that and support us. You are such a lovely person and you really do deserve someone that will help you through the hard times.
I don't think I can knock any sense into you (although I'll do my best, hee hee) 'cause ultimately it is a decision you have to get clear in your own mind and then like a bandaid, pull it right off.. YOUCH!!.. and then it's over. If there is no passion left, if it is causing you more grief than happiness you will probably be able to improve your life more than you can probably even realise at this moment as soon as you can move away from someone like that.
He may not be able to be your friend now, he may never be able to be your friend and you probably just have to wrap your mind around that because it is a huge change, but it is one necessary if you don't want to carry on the way you have been for so long.
Don't forget that we will always be here to support you, no matter what and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!
Now rip that bandaid!!
**bug hugs**
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Steph
#150458 - 02/15/05 03:28 PM
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I am so surprised to hear that you also live with a neat freak. I thought it was very rare! It's impossible, huh? I once spent 3 hours when we first moved in together cleaning the place. He came home and insulted everything that I had cleaned. I was so upset and he just told me he'd have to redo everything.
I think I will dump him soon. Don't worry! I am looking forward to a new and IMPROVED life!
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OMG!!!
#150459 - 02/15/05 03:31 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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I was just laughing out loud when I read your post because that is EXACTLY what happens with me and Adrian! Even if I clean something, he ALWAYS redoes it if it isn't up to his anal-retentive standards! Hee hee.
On a serious note, it is the biggest problem in our relationship... Yeah, you'd think it was being from two different countries or something but no, it's the tidy thing. It seriously drives him NUTS that I can leave a towel on the floor in the bathroom for 15 minutes and don't give it another thought - oh lordy!!
When we first moved in here after the move, we set everything up and cleaned and then I went out the next day and when I came back he had rearranged EVERYTHING!! I am talking took apart a huge desk and moved it to the other side of the room!!
It is totally impossible, I have to learn to laugh about it or I'd be ripping my own hair out!!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Let's hope your apartment hunting goes quickly and successfully. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. But when it's time, it's time. Good for you for standing up for yourself and what you need. I really admire that in you.
--------------------
Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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That's a major symptom of obsessive compulsive disorder. Being very controlling is another. I should know - I have OCD. Mind you I'm not controlling about cleaning or relationships, but I do understand that that is a major part of it. Any questions about OCD, you can ask me. I'm pretty familiar with it.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Wow, it doesn't seem to bug you too much if you can laugh about it.
I can't.
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Really? How interesting!
Hubby freaks out if I don't clean things the right way. And he thinks I'm a slob if I leave the dishes hanging around. We used to get upset about this but he says I help him learn how t be more relaxed about stuff. Should I be concerned for him? I know it's hard for him when I don't do certain things the "right/clean" way...
I have learned that when he gets upset if dinner is burnt or whatever not to let it get to me...that this is his thing not mine. That it's ok to burn dinner, leave the dishes, whatever.
Anyway...if you think it might be OCD let me know. Maybe it would even help me understand better. I know when he is critical it's coming from a part of his past (and he's not mean about it...he'll only tell me it bothers him if I make him...).
Anyway, thakns for bringing this up Alicia! *hugs* (Gorgeous name btw!)
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Hi there, SS,
Well, it is I who is obsessive-compulsive in our relationship. You know Bree on "Desperate Housewives"? Well, I'm sorry to say I can really relate to her, especially the scene in the shrink's office and the shrink's jacket button. Oh yeah, I'd have reached in my purse for my traveling sewing kit!
I have to have everything at the right angle. If anyone touches anything in the house, I know it, I spot it immediately. I'm a nut case.
It was very difficult for Don -- at first. After 7 years of frustration, we finally went through therapy and worked very hard at our marriage. I had to lighten up, and he needed to stop throwing his underwear in the dirty clothes basket inside-out.
It's a give-and-take kinda thing. I had to respect him, and he me. He also needed to help me out. Now, after 39 years of marriage, I look the other way when he doesn't dust under the mantel clock. When he's out of the house, I take the dust rag and do it myself, but don't tell him about it.
However, it sounds like this isn't at all about his obsessive-compulsiveness, it's all about whether or not you want to stay with him. It sounds, from your last paragraph, that you've already moved on...?
Please, before you give up on your current, analyze whether it might be worth seeing a psychiatrist -- BOTH of you. Don't give up without a fight, not after having invested 10 long years in the relationship. You both deserve better.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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I might be wrong...but I think the difference is that with Adrian he has this obsession. I hope at least he's not malicious about it.
It sounds like your guy, Tina, IS malicious about it!
My hubby has his obsession with things. And maybe he would do things differently. He gets freaked out when I use the wrong cleaner to clean the wood...or when I break glasses or whatever. He thinks I'm being careless. However...these are just things he is compulsive about. And things that are part of his past...
However...it is NOT ok! And he knows that I don't tihnk it's ok. And I tell him. And he has made a HUGE effort to work on himself and he even thanks me for helping him learn to relax.
I can't laugh about it. It hurt me a LOT in the past...
But this is different Tina...I htink it is at least. I hope I'm being clear...I'm not so sure?
Ok, ramble over! 
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Or how about when Bree wanted to put those handcuffs in the dishwasher. That would have been SO me! I laughed so hard. I'm just a germ freak. I keep threatening my family that when we fly to Disney in April I'm wearing a mask on the plane so I don't pick up any colds. They told me they are not sitting with me if I do! Oh well, I'll be the healthiest of all of them when we vacation right
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Thanks Lisa!
#150504 - 02/15/05 04:30 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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Oh, I LOVED the handcuffs in the dishwasher! That was hysterical! Yeah, that would have been me too, you betcha!
You're too young to remember Howard Hughes and the Kleenex. The man wouldn't touch anything in public. Well, I understood perfectly at the time, and even more so now. Turns out he was right....
NOW, how about when Bree was told by her hubby that he wanted it "rough," so she slapped him real hard, then said, "was it good for you too?" I peed in my pants.
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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she hauled off and wailed him a good punch! That was hysterical. "Was it good for you?" she says! He deserved it.
Ok, I'm confused about the whole Angela thing now. How does Mrs. Huber's sister know the dead wife? Hmmm, is this show not the best?!?!?!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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I'm the freak not hubby! when he tells me the people in his office are sick...I want to sleep in seperate beds  A mask on the plane...thanks for the idea! People with colds should be the ones to wear em'...a cold is torture for IBSers and fibromites!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Somebody told me Bree's son was gay. The one who hit the pedestrian? Has that happened yet?
~nelly~
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Yes, you are right, they should be the ones with the masks on not the healthy ones! However, ain't gonna risk it. I can't take antibiotics so I can't risk even catching a simple cold that could turn into say bronchitis or pneumonia!
My 10 year old calls me a germ freak. I carry my bath and body works antibacterial stuff in my purse, in my car wherever I go. I make them put it on after we've been at the mall or before we eat out at restraunt. It really does prevent a lot of illness if you think about it. Everyone should actually do it.
I had mono a few years ago and became this way from contracting it. I'm not obsessive, obsessive about it but I try to remember to do it as often as I can!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Nope didn't happen yet. That would put an interesting twist to things. Right now all he's concerned about doing is smoking pot!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Well I'm sorta in a similar situation. The only difference neither are obsessive compul. I have been with mine for 5yrs, engaged for 2. We bought a house over two years ago. Yes, we bought before we were engaged. Relationships are definitely give and take. People unfortunately do change, sometimes not for the better. We recently split up over some of the same issues. We had the wedding basicly all plannned out and everything. One day he came to me and said he does not want to be married. Never!!!! He said all marriages end up in divorce. There is no magic left, and he never wants to go anywhere with me. He is a great guy...but just not the right guy I think for me. I could go on for hours...u get the jist.
I suggested couseling with him. He refuses to talk to a stranger about our problems. I would suggest the same to you.Both of you have invested 10yrs..its worth a shot. Don't give up without a fight, talk to him first.
I fought with mine, unfortunately the other person has to want it as well. I'm stuck in this beautiful house right now with him. I've never felt so alone in my life. It's weird how in the beginning our opposites worked for us. Towards the end agaist us? Hope this helps.
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Just my opinion: Hubby and I have a LOT of issues! But we're BOTH willing to work them out. It sounds like Tina has spoken to her guy a LOT! And he doesn't seem like he's getting the message.
PLUS a guy that is controlling may change for a little while...but I say watch out! I've dated controlling guys...one even physically held me back from leaving People CAN change...but it may not be worth the wait....
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Lisa! We should hang out together!
I was gonna use the antibacterial hand cream put the smells gave me headaches Do you know if they make a non-scented one that doesn't smell at all? That would be great!
At one of the grocery stores here they have hadn wipes for your hands and cart before you enter the store...I love it! I def. use them!
Having had supposed sinus infection for about a year and a half I DO NOT ever want to get a cold again!! So I'm with ya girl! *hugs*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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That's so sad. I'm sorry to hear your story.
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Hey Bev!
So you're one of those...? Just kidding. Must be very hard for you!
I can't leave a glass, magazine, or anything lying around or it is gone. I had an out of town friend over once and we just went outside and when we came back in our wine glasses were gone. They were in the dishwasher. She looked at me with the funniest expression. But it's really not easy to live with a neat freak. Nope.
I have aksed him to see a therpaist a milion times. "No way" is always his response. This is not our only problem. I feel like I am so tired of trying to fix him. Plus he doesn't appreciate me at all.
Thanks for your advice Bev. I know you're trying to help.
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Yes Ruchie, I think it's different too. I don't think Adrian calls Steph a slob and tells her she's lazy because she doesn't clean enough. But who knows? 
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HanSolo
#150531 - 02/15/05 05:27 PM
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How do I know for sure he has it? I mean all his friends know. We rented a chalet one weekend and he drove them nuts with all his cleaning.
All his old roommates all warned me when we moved in that he was a neat freak.
What do you to limit your OC thoughts or actions?
I saw a documentary on OCD once with him and he never even flinched. He doesn't think he has it!
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Hmm...
#150550 - 02/15/05 06:17 PM
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Stephie
Reged: 03/10/04
Posts: 2696
Loc: Vancouver, Canada
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... you make a good point. Okay, maybe by laughing you see me having a fun ol' time... by laughing, I see myself 'ha ha ha'ing' through gritted teeth, fists clenched and smoke coming out of ears.
I guess I am trying to downplay it 'cause it does give me so much grief, but I figure I have stuff that drives him nuts and nobody is perfect and.. well, he decorated my basement in red balloons and streamers, so I could have a lot more to complain about.
You're still doing the right thing!!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Tina... good luck with whatever you do.
I just want to say that you can make someone change but its better not doing so. In the end, it may backfire and/or the may resent you forever for doing so.
You can't make someone love you, and you can't make someone want to work things out through counseling etc. You can try, and believe me.. I have and have learned from my mistakes, but in the end... it usually boils down to them same thing.
I've def told exes not to leave me and to give me another chance.. and they have.. but they are still exes now. People say alot to keep what is comfortable.. so stay strong, cause i'm sure he will be very convincing.
trust me.. its taken me alot of heartbreak to realize this too but, I dunno.. I'm a strong believer in the SHINE theory. The one you love should make you shine.. and everyone around you should notice.
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I just can't bring myself to make my private life public. I was going to email you but noticed you don't have an address up. So I'll just send you huge hugs and say that I know you'll make the right decision for you in the end. I hope you get this sorted out so you can move on from what I know is not a happy place to be.
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Amy
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I wanted to assure you that I'm always going to be here for you, Tina. I know you must have been struggling with this for a while now. It must be so very difficult for you since you are living together and must deal with this everyday.
It's not like you can go home from work and just have some peace. This must be really reeking havoc with your emotions, your health, every aspect of your life.
I wish I could tell you what to do, but I don't think anyone can do that. We can listen and care and love you, but unfortunately, no one but you can really know what's in your heart and what will be best for you in the long run.
We all just want you to be happy and at peace. It hurts me to think of how much you are battling with this decision. It sounds like it is just tearing you apart.
Do you have a counselor or a therapist who knows about this situation?
I pray that you are able to come to some resolutions with this entire situation. You deserve a peaceful, happy life. Hopefully you find your way to that place.
Lots of people have offered their email addresses to you. You already have mine. I hope you realize how much I care about you and how much I want my friend to find some resolution to your situation.
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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Hi, I know I dont know you but I just felt I needed to tell you something. It took me a while to understand what I was looking for in a relationship. Love is # 1 and I can understand what you mean by saying you still love him. But hear is the thing,more than love it has to do with understanding and supporting each other. Living with IBS can be embarassing and stressfull. You need support from your loved ones because it is difficult to have a normal life. What if your are in Europe on a vacation you planned for many years but on the day you planned to go to a specific place an attack comes? will he be angry? argue? blame you for something you have absolutely no control over?
Then there is the part that he make you feel like a slob?no relationship in this world is perfect and we all have things to change but overall you should be in a relationship in which you make each other feel good and important because you are important and deserve to be happy.
Then is the fact that after 10 years, do you think it will get better or worst?We all argue about the shoes being in the wrong place,why did you leave the cup in the sink. But it should not be the center theme or that you actually cleaning up because you want to avoid confrontation or stress. After years of being with someone I can understand that the passion might not be the same but in turn it becomes a feeling in which you are comfortable with each other and most of all bring each other peace.
With all that said men perceive things different than we do. He might probably has the same feeling as 10 years ago but he is oblivious to how you feel or what are your thoughts in the relationship. I would try talking to him about how you fell and where is your relationship going. This will give you a better idea as to what to do and how do you really view your future with or without him.
I hope with this I am not invading your privacy. I read this thread while I was looking for something else.
Wish you the best.
Angie00
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Tina
#150581 - 02/15/05 07:50 PM
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Sheri01
Reged: 04/19/04
Posts: 1731
Loc: New Jersey
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I am alittle late getting in on this thread. You have gotten alot of advice, and you seem to be heading in the right direction. I already told you before that I thought you should leave him as soon as you can, but I know these things can take time. Now that you are definate that you will and it is what you want (and there may be a new man), look for that apartment TOMORROW. OR as soon as humanly possible. Dragging this out is just going to drain you emotionly. Once you finally leave him behind you will be able to move on with your life. Make sure you don't spend another year with someone you are not happy with. And if this other guy is someone that you really want to be with, you don't want to lose him by him finding someone that IS available in the meantime, or thinking that you are stringing him along since you didn't break up yet (if he is 'waiting for you'.
This is probably going to be the hardest thing to do in your life. I agree that you will probably never be able to be friends. But, you have friends that care about you, and once you start moving on you will be so happy with your new life that you will not be so upset about it. yeah it sucks for him, but he will one day meet someone and get over it. Maybe someone as Obsessive as he is and they will be a match made in heaven. He does not sound like a bad guy, just bad for you. Yo uare actually doing him a favor, he would probably rather be broken up with now rahter than five years from now or so, and I am sure that he would wnt the chance to be with someone that is in love with him. BUt, like Ruchie said, this will be his problem, and there is nothing you can do to ease his pain, you have to think of yourself first. Relationships are supposed to be part giviing, AND getting what you want. OR it is just charity.
I know that my situation was NOWHERE near as intense as yours is, but I have faith taht you can do it!
And you can feel free to email me if you want to talk some more, it is in my profile. or actually, I will email you with mine, the one I always use isn't in my profile cause it has my full name in it.
good luck with everything!
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-Sheri
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Beth
#150612 - 02/16/05 02:13 AM
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I know you're here for me Beth.
A friend of mine brought up the health issue. She thinks that my insomnia is because of all my stress with him. It did get bad just after we started living together.
I have never told anyone this but I once went to a psychic with a good friend of mine years ago. I didn't tell her anything about me at all. She even lived in another city and didn't know my name. She told me that the man in my life was killing my spirit and not letting me reach my true porential. I was so shocked!!! How did she know that? She also said I would be married (to a French man) by 35 with two kids. We'll see if that happens.
I don't have a counsellor, no. Maybe I should see someone?
Thanks so much for your nice repsonse Beth. I know you're a friend!
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Amy, if you ever want to email me (or anyone) my address is: tinaspafford@rogers.com.
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Ashley,
I have never heard the SHINE theory! But man, it that ever true! That sums up why I want to leave him to a tee. He doesn't make me shine and people around say that he's awful to me. I want to be with someone that's in love with me and ACTS that way.
I see a lot of my friends with their BF's and it's so obvious that they adore each other. I want that too!
Thanks Ashley.
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Angie00
#150615 - 02/16/05 02:23 AM
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Angie, you are not invading my privacy! All input is very welcome and still needed.
I think I will have a very long talk with him and show him my list of problems in our relationship. He won't be able to deny them and he'll be able to se that things have indeed gotten pretty bad.
If he loves me he should want me to be happy and to be free.
I know that after 10 years, the intimacy changes. But I still wants hugs and kisses, those things aren't too time consuming or hard.
We have had bad fights every now and then and he has asked me if I'm even happy anymore. I guess I think I'm doing a great job of hiding it but he's not stupid. Maybe this won't come as such a shock to him.?
Thanks for reposnding.
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Sheri
#150619 - 02/16/05 02:30 AM
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We dicussed my leaving him months ago, didn't we?
I think seeing that you left your BF just recently actually made me think that it can be done and I just have to do it and then start my new life.
How is single life for you so far?
I do have to think of myself first which is hard for me sometimes.
What a funny thought, him meeting another neat freak. Oh, she would still never be good enough for him! Nope. But serously, I want him to meet someone else eventually and forget about me. That thought comforts me, it doesn't make me angry or jealous. I think we stayed together WAY too long and he can't possibly be happy with how's he treated me. We both deserve a new shot as life is so very short!
I will start my apartment search today from work.
You take care Sheri!
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Gotcha! Ok, I do that too. Laugh with anger just to not explode! Sorry. I know how you feel Steph, trust me!!!
Everyone has their faults. I get pms and need a lot of 'me' time. If it was his only fault, I could ignore it. After all, our place is always spotless and because he doesn't trust my cleanng abilities I don't have to do too much. I am "allowed" to vacuum. Oh baby! JK!
I'm not trying to put Adrian down at all. Everyone has their faults and if you can live with his nobody can make you feel bad. I'm not trying to do that!!! I think he's very lucky to have you Steph.
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I think that is a great plan. The reason why you should talk to him (in my opinion) is beacause this will give you a feeling of closure.You owe it to yourself to be able to express(not explain)your feelings. You will be able to walk out with much less emotions and this will bring you peace. Ending a relationship ,love or not is always very difficult. But during our time on earth we should always look for love and happiness. Love is what makes us be able to go through life and everybody has the right to look for it and be happy.After 10 years I am sure that he will understand you and want you to be happy.
good luck
Angie00
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Basically the rule of thumb for OCD is if the obsessions and compulsions take more than one hour a day, cause considerable distress, and significantly alters everyday life.
You said he cleans again something you already cleaned?
Does he constantly clean things that are already clean?
Does he worry excessively about germs and viruses?
Does the cleaning he does seem more than excessive?
Does he explode when he can't do his cleaning?
If the answer is yes for these, it's likely he's got it. Is he a high strung kind of person? Flips out over little things? Chances are it's OCD.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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As I said to Tina, the rule of thumb for OCD is if the obsessions and compulsions take up more than an hour a day, cause considerable anxiety and stress, and interferes significantly with daily life. Everyone has obsessions and compulsions. It's only when it gets to interfering with everyday life that it's diagnosed as a disorder. IT's an anxiety disorder, so OCDers are often perfectionists, high strung, very exacting in their way of doing things.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Single life is GREAT, thanks for asking! I do have a feeling that once I get over my new found freedom that I may feel alittle more lonely than I am, but I am not concerned! I have been keeping myself busy... this weekend is gonna be great, I am going out with my friend to up north on friday, going to a place around me on saturday and out for sushi first with my friend from the army, on sunday (I have off from work on monday, it is a US holiday) I am going to philly again. I didn't even feel that lonely on Vday, and all I did was stay home and watch a horror movie.
One another note, It is funny about whoever said that these things (breaking up) just snap into your mind one day. I was not even considering breaking up with Chris, then I had this 'feeling' that he didn't care as much anymore, os during the day at work I accepted the fact we had to break up. Then he wrote me a long email and apologized for recent behaviors. TOo late, I accepted the break up! But then I thought that we still wouldn't, but as we were talking/fighting that night everything started pouring out, then I analyzed what I said, and before I knew it I cut him loose! I shocked myself, I never knew he was coming over with the intention of me breaking up with him. It WAS the best thing though, and I def realize that now, since I am not upset about it!
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-Sheri
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about your insomnia!
I've been to a psychic before. They told me I'd marry a guy and have 2 kids too. Doubt that!  But you never know.
Glad you realize I'm here for you sweetie. You are such a good person, and a good friend to me. I want you to have some peace. You are an awesome gal!
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~ Beth
Constipation, pain prodominent,cramps, spasms and bloat!
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My parents have been married over 25 years. When my dad come homes from work...the 1st thing he does is drop his briefcase, and go looking for my mom to ask how her day was and give her hugs and kisses. Nothing sexy in front of us kids usually though It never did change with them! Well...I mean I'm sure it did to some degree but they are still so in love!
You don't deserve anything less Tina! Got it? You deserve all the happiness in the wolrd! You are a beautiful soul with so much to give...and he is squelching that! Yuck! A person should make you thrive and be the best you can be.
He may not want you to be free. He may not understand. He may be in denail.
HE doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is YOU. If you want to express yourself...do it for you. His reaction doesn't even exist. Dont' even wait for him to react if you don't want to. Do this for you! *hugs*
Hope you find an apartment soon! I'm praying for ya!
Love ya Tina! I have faith in you...and I know you will do what is right when it's right!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Thanks Beth. A month or two after I live on my own will be the test of that theory! If I sleep like a baby, I will really be kicking myself.
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Angie
#150698 - 02/16/05 07:53 AM
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You are so right!!! It will be easier for me to leave knowing that I have gotten everything off my chest and that he understand why I am leaving.
I hope he can respect the fact that I want to be happy, even if that means being without him.
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Ruchie
#150700 - 02/16/05 07:55 AM
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I agree with you 100%. How hard is it to give each other a quick hello and goodbye kiss?!
Thanks Ruchie. I really feel your support coming through!!!
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Alicia
#150701 - 02/16/05 07:58 AM
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Thanks for those questions. Not all of those were a yes though. He's very high strung and definitelt flips out over little things. OH YA!
Put it this way, even after working a 12 hour shift, he will clean the cat litter, or might vacuum, or do some sort of cleaning. Even if I tell him I will do it for him!!!!
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Glad you're enjoying being single. I know I will too!!!! I will ahve many girl's nights out!
I was so close to ending things last night bit realized that I need to find a new home first! I can't leave myself stuck. I'm smarter than that.
Don't take him back, You made the right choice Sheri!
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I don't think he has it then, to be honest. It's not every day. Nope.
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Kim
#150706 - 02/16/05 08:09 AM
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First of all I want to THANK YOU for posting this to me and starting this incredible thread. You're such a pal!
I have to think of myself FIRST and not feel sorry for him. I have been unhappy for years, unfortunately. I will be sure to tell him that so he doesn't think it's coming from nowhere.
I would never cheat on my BF and this "other" person knows that I am not single yet. I will only pursue this person when I am single.
You didn't come across as preach AT ALL. NO!!!!
Your advice is always welcome and if ever you need anthing from me, just ask!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Tina, I am sorry I have not posted yet to this thread. My cold has been pretty bad lately but that is no excuse! I am sorry you have been going through such a rough time. All I can say is to do what your heart tells you is right. All the advice everyone here has been great. I have nothing else to add to it. But, if anyone knows if you are happy or not that person is you. I trust and know you will make the right decision because you are such a strong and amazing person. Good luck with everything!
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Believing in Tina to make the right decision on her own is unconditional support....right on!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Thanks Ruchie, you give very good advice as well you know
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Oh thanks so much Tommy!
You're so sweet.
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Tommy is quite the guy!
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HI Sara
#150735 - 02/16/05 09:26 AM
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Not knowing you well at all, but seeing your list of issues with your SO, I would venture to say he had a borderline Personality disorder, and is not one easy to live with. Not easy at all when one is affected by stress that can be so harmful to your managing IBS. That's the reasons I left my husband of 14 years, of course now he would change all those things into a posititve to convince me to come home. But at this time, if I would return, it would undo months of therapy and healing for me. You might do some research on that disorder and realize that you have some options. And that you shouldn't rush into a relationship with anyone right yet. There is a book out called Walking on eggshells...it's excellant. But it also let's you understand that you can't change that type of behavior. You can work with it only to a degree, but you have to be a strong, healthy person to do it. You have only one responsiblity right now, and that is to get well, love yourself, and nuture the wonderful person inside. They call these type of partners "hoovers"..they suck the very joy and happiness out of you. And then blame you for not being up to more. I wish you the best....it's really up to you. It's your life and choices.
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Ruchie, that's my home email so I will check it tonight.
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There are over 100 posts in this thread! 
You should feel very loved! *hugs*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I am beyond touched that you all took time to write me very thoughtful and sincere, heartfelt responses. I feel sooooo lucky that you are all part of my life!
Here is a big huge hug for every one of you!
(((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
Thanks you so much again! I'm so lucky!!!
*update* I am looking at an apartment this Saturday and it is for April 1st. I hope it's nice!
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You and only you, know exactly how you feel. It sounds to me that this has been building up over a long period of time. I have not read all of the others posts so I am not sure of the others advice. But, I can say this,
I have watched my son live in a loveless, verbally abusive, accusatory, miserable relationsip for over 5 years. He is a very easy going, loving, and beautiful person to know. Now, I am not saying that he is not at fault for some of the problems in his marriage. Though I have witnessed him doing everything he can to make everything as good as it could be. He is miserable, and I hate to see anyone living in a miserable realtionship. Life is too darn short.
So, whatever your decision may be, it is one you have to feel comfortable living with for a very long time! You know yourself and what you can and can't live with. I am praying for you and hope that the decision you make comes straight from the depths of your heart and that it is what YOU need and want to happen in your life.
This must be very difficult, I am keeping you in my thoughts and pray that it works out for the best! gayla
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Thanks so much, very true! I have decided to break up with him and it's just a matter of time now.
You guys have all made me see "the light".
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Hey Tina,
I just wanted you to know that although I havent posted any response to your problem at the moment I have been thinking of you....Ive just been so busy I havent had time to respond. Theres not much more advice that I can give that everyone else hasnt already.....but I definately think that you should just do whatever makes you happiest in the long run....and in my opinion, getting out of this relationship as hard as it may seem seems like the best thing you could do. I really am thinking of you...I cant imagine how difficult it would be to leave someone you've spent 10 years of your life with and never see them again...its like the end to such a huge chapter in your life. But we're all here for you if and when it happens....take care of yourself and follow your heart!! ((((((HUGS))))))))
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Natalie
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Thanks Natalie. I need to do what makes ME happy and not worry about his reaction or how his life will change. It's too late for that right now...
How's your guy? Any pics yet?
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the advice given makes sense to me.
the one thing that sticks out for me is that with ibs you don't need the unnesessary stress, typical relationship stuff can't be avoided, but there's plenty of kind caring people to meet.
It appears i'm a bit late on responding as you've seemed to have already decide to end it.
anyway, good luck finding someone better.
peace.
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Life is but a memory on the breath of a dying man.
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Thank you Luther Maze. Yes, I have made my decision already. You're right, with IBS I do NOT need any added stress. I will tell him that!
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Hey tina....I promise I'll try and get some pics sorted soon!! Heres a quick update on me....well...where did I last leave it?? I went round to his flat yesterday with my friend Sylvia we called to drop something in on the way to the shops....so it was a bit awkward cos I couldnt speak to him on my own....things were fine we were just chatting....she should have left me on my own with him really but we ended up leaving and that was that. I did see him again in the office later on but we just smiled at each other....it was a bit of an awkward situation again....I think the problem is that both of us wana say stuff to each other but neither wants to be the one to have the serious conversation....cos I dont do serious conversations! Besides, I didnt wana bug him cos his friends already think Im chasin after him so Im not gona give them more rubbish to say! I spoke to his friend actually and was laughing at the fact that they've been taking the mick...he openly admitted it...I just made sure that I let him know that Im not taking offence by it cos I think its funny. Anyway, Dan's gone home today he doesnt have uni till monday, so I'll speak to him when he gets back. I still dont even have his flippin number!! I think its probably a good thing he's gone home....gives us both a break and then I can speak to him when he's back....I need to have the I like you but do u like me and is this gone go anywhere conversation....which I hate cos Ive never been the one to have to do it before....any advice on what to say and how to bring it up???....guys are afraid of those conversations!
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Natalie
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Oh yes, you need to tell each other that it's mutual and find out what to do next! Can you ask him out for drinks, a movie, or something casual-ish?
You need to do something soon or the momentum will be gone and it will seem too awkward after a while.
He must be shy if he hasn't "put the moves on you" yet. That's cute!
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hi Nat
i agree with Tina, you need to have that chat. What would be best is to orchestrate bumping into him when you are both alone to be able to ask him if he'd like to check out that new film some night etc...
Re him not making a move yet, P and I knew each other, chatted, held hands and stayed up all night talking for a month before we kissed...and the rest is history.
Best of luck!
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S.
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tina
#150867 - 02/16/05 02:43 PM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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only replied to Nat's bit, and have just read yours now.
Tommy is right, you make the decision.
I think though if you don't like the idea of the next ten years with bf then its time to get out. he will thank you in the long run...honest.
take care you and good luck apartment hunting
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S.
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Thanks Sinead. You take care too.
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..sorry I'm not getting to this until now, but I did just want to tell you that you are a great great person and you don't deserve to sell yourself short. Not that I'm one much to give advice for lack of experience, but I imagine that it's easy to stay with something that so comfortable routine wise, even if he doesn't treat you right..if that makes sense. I think you know what you need to do which is good, now you just have to do it. I think it will be the best thing for both of you in the long run and you'll find someone no problem! I remember when you'd posted a few months back about all this boyfriend trouble and possible moving out and I had hoped things had made a huge change for the better since I didn't really remember hearing about it anymore since then. Well enough rambling - just know we'll all be here for you and this is your life and you need to live every moment doing what will make you happy . Big hugs and lots of luck!!
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Thanks Brittany!
I like what you said about it being best for BOTH of us in the long run. When I do it I will try to stress that point to him. We just don't bring out the best in each other. We both deserve people that do!
Nothing's changed since I posted about it months ago. Nope.
Thanks and I hope to be able to have this over with before too much longer!
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Yea sinead Im not worried about the fact that he hasnt tried to kiss me yet or anything....all my friends are thinking the worst...but my mum always said to me that its the best relationships that sometimes take the longest to get together....my mum and dad were just like you and P it took my dad ages to make a move apparently! I quite like the fact that we've been becoming friends and that first anyway, its making me feel more comfortable around him before anything happens...if it does. I have other reasons to go around to his flat next week anyways....and once Ive got him on my own I'll somehow manage to have the 'serious' conversation without it being made to be a big deal...cos I know thats why hes not saying anything cos boys hate those conversations! I'll keep you all posted dont you worry....I know I have to do it when he gets back cos tina you're right about the momentum thing....I'll sort it dont you worry....cant wait till that awkwardness is over though...I hate waiting!
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Natalie
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Natalie
#150903 - 02/16/05 04:09 PM
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I also believe that the ones that take longer to develop can possibly last the longest!
Natalie, you're quite pretty so don't be so shy! Make your move! He seems like he's even more shy than you. Someone has to make the first move!
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OMG finally someone who understands my germaphobic condition! Yes, we'd be two peas in a pod wouldn't we!
Not sure if they make any that are non smelling cause I can see how they give you a headache. They are rather strong. I'll have to look the next time I'm at Bath & Body works for ya girlfriend. However, I'm pretty stocked up for now. I went out to the outlets and stocked up in November.
OMG, they just opened up a new grocery store here and I nearly almost jumped up and down with excitment when I saw the wipes at the door for your carts. That is the first time I ever saw that! Yep, Lisa uses one every Sunday when I grocery shop. Whoever started it would get a great big kiss from me (with a mask on of course )
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~~~Lisa~~~
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you know something Tina, I would have a serious problem with someone who didn't care if he kissed me or not. And, on that being sick stuff, come on, we need to be taken care of and seen to when we are ill. To have someone not give a flip one way or the other that you are so sick you are begging to die ? To me, thats cold hearted !
Hope it goes smoothly. Thinking of you, you are so sweet and so pretty, I know you will have no problems moving on inlife.
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Yes we would be great together! We could even teach each other new ways to be germaphobics
I was SO EXCITED when they put the wipes at the store! I was like "Yes! They shoulda done this a LONG time ago!" LOL I was also thinking it might not be a bad idea to buy the wipes for myself instead of the antibacterial hand wipes. I wonder if they come in small purse size packs?! I'll let you know if I find some!
Hmmm...maybe I should wear one of those masks to give hubby a kiss the next time someone in his office gets a cold It would make me feel better...but I'm not sure what he'd make of it?
Seriously...when he comes home telling me someone in the office is sick...I rip out the vitmain C and even make him take it too I am sick enough...I don;t need anything else!!!
Thanks for making me laugh...and for your tips! *hugs* Night germaphobic sis!
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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I know. When we first moved in together and I saw how he treated me when I got ill, a red flad came into my head. My parents were always loving to me when I was sick and it's just the little things that make someone feel better. Now that I have IBS, I need something that's supportive.
I hope I hae no trouble moving on in life. And thank you so much for those nice things you said about me.
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yea, we with ibs need someone that's caring when we're sick.
reminds me of my sister-in-law. Not really my kind of person but man is she there when your sick.
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Life is but a memory on the breath of a dying man.
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