Beth
#150612 - 02/16/05 02:13 AM
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I know you're here for me Beth. 
A friend of mine brought up the health issue. She thinks that my insomnia is because of all my stress with him. It did get bad just after we started living together.
I have never told anyone this but I once went to a psychic with a good friend of mine years ago. I didn't tell her anything about me at all. She even lived in another city and didn't know my name. She told me that the man in my life was killing my spirit and not letting me reach my true porential. I was so shocked!!!  How did she know that? She also said I would be married (to a French man) by 35 with two kids. We'll see if that happens. 
I don't have a counsellor, no. Maybe I should see someone?
Thanks so much for your nice repsonse Beth. I know you're a friend! 
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Amy, if you ever want to email me (or anyone) my address is: tinaspafford@rogers.com.
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Ashley,
I have never heard the SHINE theory! But man, it that ever true! That sums up why I want to leave him to a tee. He doesn't make me shine and people around say that he's awful to me. I want to be with someone that's in love with me and ACTS that way.
I see a lot of my friends with their BF's and it's so obvious that they adore each other. I want that too!
Thanks Ashley.
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Angie00
#150615 - 02/16/05 02:23 AM
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Angie, you are not invading my privacy! All input is very welcome and still needed.
I think I will have a very long talk with him and show him my list of problems in our relationship. He won't be able to deny them and he'll be able to se that things have indeed gotten pretty bad.
If he loves me he should want me to be happy and to be free.
I know that after 10 years, the intimacy changes. But I still wants hugs and kisses, those things aren't too time consuming or hard.
We have had bad fights every now and then and he has asked me if I'm even happy anymore. I guess I think I'm doing a great job of hiding it but he's not stupid. Maybe this won't come as such a shock to him.?
Thanks for reposnding.
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Sheri
#150619 - 02/16/05 02:30 AM
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We dicussed my leaving him months ago, didn't we?
I think seeing that you left your BF just recently actually made me think that it can be done and I just have to do it and then start my new life.
How is single life for you so far?
I do have to think of myself first which is hard for me sometimes.
What a funny thought, him meeting another neat freak. Oh, she would still never be good enough for him! Nope. But serously, I want him to meet someone else eventually and forget about me. That thought comforts me, it doesn't make me angry or jealous. I think we stayed together WAY too long and he can't possibly be happy with how's he treated me. We both deserve a new shot as life is so very short!
I will start my apartment search today from work.
You take care Sheri! 
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Gotcha! Ok, I do that too. Laugh with anger just to not explode! Sorry. I know how you feel Steph, trust me!!! 
Everyone has their faults. I get pms and need a lot of 'me' time. If it was his only fault, I could ignore it. After all, our place is always spotless and because he doesn't trust my cleanng abilities I don't have to do too much. I am "allowed" to vacuum. Oh baby! JK!
I'm not trying to put Adrian down at all. Everyone has their faults and if you can live with his nobody can make you feel bad. I'm not trying to do that!!! I think he's very lucky to have you Steph.
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I think that is a great plan. The reason why you should talk to him (in my opinion) is beacause this will give you a feeling of closure.You owe it to yourself to be able to express(not explain)your feelings. You will be able to walk out with much less emotions and this will bring you peace. Ending a relationship ,love or not is always very difficult. But during our time on earth we should always look for love and happiness. Love is what makes us be able to go through life and everybody has the right to look for it and be happy.After 10 years I am sure that he will understand you and want you to be happy.
good luck
Angie00
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Basically the rule of thumb for OCD is if the obsessions and compulsions take more than one hour a day, cause considerable distress, and significantly alters everyday life.
You said he cleans again something you already cleaned?
Does he constantly clean things that are already clean?
Does he worry excessively about germs and viruses?
Does the cleaning he does seem more than excessive?
Does he explode when he can't do his cleaning?
If the answer is yes for these, it's likely he's got it. Is he a high strung kind of person? Flips out over little things? Chances are it's OCD.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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As I said to Tina, the rule of thumb for OCD is if the obsessions and compulsions take up more than an hour a day, cause considerable anxiety and stress, and interferes significantly with daily life. Everyone has obsessions and compulsions. It's only when it gets to interfering with everyday life that it's diagnosed as a disorder. IT's an anxiety disorder, so OCDers are often perfectionists, high strung, very exacting in their way of doing things.
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Formerly HanSolo. IBS, OCD, Bipolar, PTSD times 3.
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Single life is GREAT, thanks for asking! I do have a feeling that once I get over my new found freedom that I may feel alittle more lonely than I am, but I am not concerned! I have been keeping myself busy... this weekend is gonna be great, I am going out with my friend to up north on friday, going to a place around me on saturday and out for sushi first with my friend from the army, on sunday (I have off from work on monday, it is a US holiday) I am going to philly again. I didn't even feel that lonely on Vday, and all I did was stay home and watch a horror movie.
One another note, It is funny about whoever said that these things (breaking up) just snap into your mind one day. I was not even considering breaking up with Chris, then I had this 'feeling' that he didn't care as much anymore, os during the day at work I accepted the fact we had to break up. Then he wrote me a long email and apologized for recent behaviors. TOo late, I accepted the break up! But then I thought that we still wouldn't, but as we were talking/fighting that night everything started pouring out, then I analyzed what I said, and before I knew it I cut him loose! I shocked myself, I never knew he was coming over with the intention of me breaking up with him. It WAS the best thing though, and I def realize that now, since I am not upset about it!
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-Sheri
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