Re: Tina
#150363 - 02/15/05 11:36 AM
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melitami
Reged: 02/23/04
Posts: 1213
Loc: Ewing, NJ, USA (IBS-D, Vegetarian)
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*MAJOR HUGS* Wish you the best of luck with this. Relationship stuff stinks, just do what you need to be happy. You're such a wonderful lady, you deserve to be happy!
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Thanks Melissa! That's nice of you to say.
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My e-mail is Ruchily@yahoo.com.
You're really special Tina! I don't know the whole story...half the story...whatever. But if you're not happy that's what counts!
You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to do what is best for you. So what if he is being sweet now? Is he always this way? Maybe he knows something's up withyou and he's trying to win back your heart?
In any case...if tihs guy isn't good for you all of the time...that's what counts!
It hurts me to see you hurting.
I'm alwasy here for you *hugs* And now you have my e-mail! 
You're always letting me know how tough I am and that I can do it. Take your own advice...it's true advice and it's GOOD advice!
Sending love, prayers, and good vibes your way.....
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Ok, here's a bit of our history...
We have been together for 10 years. He used to be very fun and outgoing for years. I think when we moved in together I noticed a huge change. He is obsessive-compulsive about cleaning. No joke. He almost follows me around making sure I don't dirty his floor and kitchen. I thought I could handle it. Not so easy. He makes me feel like a slob. And he's called me that plenty of times.
Here's my dirty laundry list with him:
- he's very controlling
- neat freak
- loves to bicker about just about anything
- no respect for me (tells me I'm not intelligent and that he has a hard time holding a serious conversation with me.
- he doesn't make me happy
- he is no longer fun or laidback (I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around him)
- I don't want to spend another 10 years with him -- no way!
- is horrible when I'm sick and gives me no support
- puts me in so many bad moods because he is so moody
- my friends have started telling me that he treats me "disgustingly"
- the list could go on and on....
** oh ya, there's no passion left and getting him to kiss me is like pulling teeth! **
The problem is that I still love him and some of these things he has kinda worked on. He has no idea that I am ready to leave and after 10 years, it will break his heart. He would never hurt me but I hate to see him so devastated. I can never be friends with him and could never go back to him. It would have to be a final goodbye and never ever see him again. Very hard thought to accept when I have seen him almost very day for the past 10 years.
Can anyone knock some sense into me?
Oh ya, I met someone that is great and so unlike him and I want to be single so I can pursue this.
Edited by Sara-Sage (02/15/05 12:07 PM)
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I wish for you clarity! Clarity to know what's truth and to see things as they are. Once you have clarity (not saying you don't...but just in case!) it's easier to make the best decision. *BIG HUGS*
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Thank so much Ruchie. I am tough but when it comes to him I have no control. He walks all over me and I'm sick of it! 
I should take my own advice!!!!
Thanks for your email address. 
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{{{HUGS}}}
#150380 - 02/15/05 11:57 AM
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Linz
Reged: 09/01/03
Posts: 8242
Loc: England
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How horrible for you. At the end of the day, if he's not good for you, then is it worth it? Would he make more of an effort to be nice if he knew you were this unhappy?
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I'm just curious why you can't be friends with him after you break up. I understand that it's difficult at first, and you want to have your independance, but why can't you be friends with him? Probably not my business... I was just wondering. I've always tried to continue friendships with all of my ex-boyfriends.
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~ Rachel (IBS-C)
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!
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Hi Linz. I have brought this up with him a million times and he always turns in around to be my fault.
About the cleaning, he'll say that I need to clean way more and then he wouldn't have to bug me. He is in denial.
It isn't worth it. No.
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Because he could never ever see me date anyone else. Because we'd get back together. He would try to get me back. I know that for a fact.
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