Back from the doctor
#149794 - 02/14/05 07:54 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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The doctor says I have degenerative disc disorder, which means the discs in my back are wearing out. He showed me the MRI films, and you could see one of the discs, the L-5 (in lumbar region) is almost in a point. It is pressing on my sciatic nerve, that long nerve that runs almost the length of your body. The L-4 is bulging too, but not as bad as the other one.
The good news is he doesn't recommend surgery, but the bad news is there isn't a lot that can be done for this. He is starting me on physical therapy again with a therapist who he says is one of the few in the country trained to help with this type of problem. I go at 3 this afternoon.
He said the pain would probably be worse before it would get better, so he gave me a prescription and some samples of an anti-inflammatory medicine, Mobic, to take temporarily. He said if I can't stand the pain, for me to call him back and he would give me an epidural injection in my spine (of cortisone.) I would love to have some relief but am hesitant to do that since my sister had a horrible reaction last year to a cortisone shot----and because of my manic depression. (sometimes cortisone can cause a manic episode).
He still wants me to have the nerve test done on March 1 to make sure I don't have any nerve damage.
I am relieved---and disappointed. I was praying he would have a way to relieve my pain. To think that this is something I will just have to live with for the rest of my life is depressing. I cannot sleep in my bed because lying down compresses the discs and causes tremendous pain. He said the reason I can sleep in the recliner is because it takes the pressure off of my spine. Lately, I have even had trouble sleeping in it.
Am I going to have to sleep in a chair the rest of my life? What about when we travel? I will not be able to sleep on a bed in a hotel or at someone else's house.
I asked him about my mattress and he said some of his patients have gotten relief with the Swedish therapuetic mattress. My husband is ready to order one of those. If anyone has any experience with those, please let me know. I know that will be expensive, but it will be worth it if it will help.
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I don' know about that kind of mattress but my parents have a convertible bed which allows them each to move their bed into the position they need. My mom sleeps more sitting up because of reflex and my dad raises the legs on his for back support. I know they bough it at a regular furniture store. It is more expensive than others. I am not sure of the name of it though. Maybe craftmatic??? I can check with them if you want. They will be back at the end of this week.
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Get the tempurpedic bed!!!!! I LOVE mine! Will and I got one a few years back and it is the most comfortable thing I've ever slept on!! You can buy them in many stores now, you don't have to order them! Go in and try one out! The are kinda heat activated so you have to lay on it for a few minutes to get a good feeling. Your body heat warms up the foam and it conforms to your body! I wouldn't trade my bed for the world!! I also have a full body pillow (not tempurpedic) that helps me to get comfy, especially when my hips are hurting, maybe that would also help you? I got a great one, covered in poly-fleece at Costco for $20!!
I'm glad you don't need surgery. Hopefully the therpay will help. I don't know how the corisone interfers with your bi-polar but the shots in my hips have big a life saver for me! I did have to get two in my right hip and still have some pain but the left hip is like new!
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Taking it one day at a time.....
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I don't have any advice on the matress, but just wanted to say I'm glad to hear you know what it is, even though they can't do much for it.  At least you can put worry of something worse out of your mind and start concentrating on feeling better. Maybe the physical therapy will help tons?
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- Jennifer
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I have no advice on the mattress, but I truly hope you will get better! The siatic nerve pain is terrible...I had a little bit of trouble while I was pregnant with this. My friend had it terribly. I feel so awful for you - I understand what (kind of) you are going through!
I wish you luck with your appointment this afternoon...sounds like you have a wonderfully helpful doctor so that's good!
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Lana_Marie
Proud Mommy to Bentley Taylor
Born May 12, 2004 9lbs, 3oz
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Just curious did he tell you why he can't do surgery to remove the discs. My husband had two discs removed that his doc termed degenerative and he was in real bad shape beforehand. They made him wait so long before they decided to do surgery that he could barely walk and he wasn't sleeping much b/c it got to the point that no matter what position he slept in or where he slept it hurt like h*ll. After they were removed he was like a new man but the doc can't guarantee that the discs he has left won't do the same thing. So he isn't supposed to go on roller coasters ever again or do sports like basketball or anything that may jar his back.
I hope you find some kind of relief!! (((((HUGS)))
Christie
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Christie
~Hoping and Praying for Sleep!~
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BIG HUGS!! I hope things get better soon!!!
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Heather7476
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You poor thing!
#149883 - 02/14/05 10:48 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I'm sorry the news isn't good, and I hope you find some relief to the pain and your sleeping situation! I have 2 bulging discs too and I can't stay seated for any length of time because I get incredible pain in my lower back. I have always been able to sleep on my side, tho, so I can't imagine what you're going through.
Just wanted to wish you good luck, and I hope the meds work for you ok. Take care,
~nelly~
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hugs BL n/t
#149913 - 02/14/05 12:05 PM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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S.
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I am so sorry for your bad news. I really hope a new bed will allow you some decent rest. hang in there...thinking about you...
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Just got back from the evaluation part of the physical therapy where the therapist used this technique called the McKenzie Method. She put me through this series of exercises ----and it was extremely painful!
I'm not too sure about this. When I left, I had pain running down my buttock and into my leg! She wants me to do these exercises every 2 hours until I return on Wed.
Anyone heard of this McKenzie method? Yikes! And she wants me to sleep in the bed and not in the recliner. That's easy for her to say! I guess I will be taking a pain pill tonight !
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OH so sorry BL,
I wish there was better news. I bet the physical therapy will help in the long run but I know you want relief now.
The mattress might be a good idea. Do some research on it and give it some thought. There are some beds that are like hospital beds that you could do in a recliner like position.
Have you thought about muscle relaxers...would they help?
Can you take Advil? My hubby had bursitis of the hip really bad and the Advil seemed to help him. Have you tried sleeping in the fetal position with a pillow between your legs?
Sending you hugs so you will feel better soon.
Barbie
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Well at least you know exactly what it is that is causing you so much pain. Shame you had such a stupid doctor in the past that couldn't find out what was wrong! Oh well, that's in the past now, look only to the future. Physical therapy will HELP tremedously I'm sure. Give it some time. I think you will really notice the difference.
Glad you are on the road to recovery!
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~~~Lisa~~~
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Barbie
#150084 - 02/14/05 05:16 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I've tried everything, including the pillow under my knees. It helps in the recliner, but not in the bed. And I have taken 2 muscle relaxants and 4 Advil (on the advice of the other doctor) and I still woke up in the middle of the night in pain! It's not muscle pain, it's the disc pressing on a nerve!
I am in so much pain from the physical therapy today, and it's time for me to do my exercises again. Ugh! I know I have to get through this, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to work through this pain.
I just took the anti-inflammatory med he gave me to try (Mobic). Hopefully, it will kick in soon because I cannot take any over the counter pain meds such as Advil while taking it.
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I can sure sympathize with what you're going through. My husband has degenerative disc disease. He's been disabled for 2 years because of that and other problems, too.
He's been through every test, too. He had the nerve conduction test also. He's also had the cortisone shots, but they didn't work for him. Lots of people get good relief from the shots though and I think they're definitely worth a try.
Surgery hasn't been recommended for my husband either. He's never had any physical therapy exercises. Sounds like it might be promising though if you can't get through the pain. My hubby is on pain pills round the clock and has to use a sleeping pill to get any sleep at all. Both of these have made a big difference in his ability to get some sleep.
I hope you soon find some good relief. Keep in touch with your doctors and don't give up until they find something that works for you.
We haven't given up yet.
Terri
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BL, I also have lumbar 4-5 disk problems. I am so afraid that my problem may be the same as yours. I pray for you that the therapy helps.
I wish I could help you on the bed, I just bought a Simmons Beautyrest, we love it.
I wish I could help you with that pain. love toyou, gayla
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I'm glad that you found out what is wrong with you. I had a feeling it was probably something like that. I'm so sorry that there doesn't seem to be any real treatment for you. That must be a hard thing to have been told.
I found this article for you.
http://www.spineuniverse.com/displayarticle.php/article242.html
They recommend light stretching, accupuncture, drug therapy, chiropractors, and posible surgery.
Hang in there and we're all thinking about you.
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BL
#150180 - 02/15/05 05:45 AM
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TommyNY
Reged: 04/29/04
Posts: 1530
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I am sorry that you have to go through this. I have seen my father suffer from a degenerative back for almost 20 years now. He had back surgery for herniated discs in 1981 and was ok until 1987 when he was struck by an automobile while crossing the street. At the time he was only 39 years old. He has not worked since the accident and is on SSI benefits. The '87 accident ruptured discs in his neck (he had sugery for that) and reinjured the operated discs from 1981. Also from the accident he has an arthritic knee and ner ve damage. His nerve damage is so bad in his hands that he does not have feeling in his index finger and middle finger. Quite honestly I don't know how the man lives with the pain. I think you get used to it for awhile. He never takes any anti-inflammatories or even goes to thereapy. One thing he swears he will never do is go under the knife. He feels back surgery is useless. I wish I could give you words of comfort. I see my father and I see a remarkable man who is one tough SOB. Just remember the mind plays a powerful role in pain. I think somehow my dad has not allowed the pain to control his life. Keep doing what you're doing, go to the therapy and believe in yourself.
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Tommy
#150190 - 02/15/05 06:12 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am trying to be strong. I can tolerate the pain during the day, but when it keeps me from sleeping, that's when I get angry!!! Honestly, I don't know how your father deals with all he has been through. He must be in horrible pain. That must be awful! He must be a really strong person.
I keep telling myself that there are people who are in much worse pain than I am ---and they manage. But at 4:19 a.m., when I'm walking the floor in pain, I am furious that I cannot sleep. Some people can make do with just a little sleep, but I can't. I need my sleep!
And my poor husband. I know I'm waking him up every night!
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Tina
#150191 - 02/15/05 06:16 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thanks for the info. I had already seen this website while searching the web. I had to laugh, though, because in the first paragraph it says that most people with DDD don't need medical management!!! I guess I am a wuss then! I'd like to take the writer of that article and press a disc against his/her sciatic nerve ---and see how they deal with it! When I lie down at night, I feel like someone has plugged me into an electrical socket. Not something you want to feel constantly while you are trying to sleep.
This has got to get better!
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Terri
#150193 - 02/15/05 06:24 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Although I hate that your husband is going through this too, I'm glad to know someone can sympathize with how I feel, especially at night. My mother keeps telling me to just relax. I feel so guilty telling her about my pain.
She says she has the same problem and at night, when the pain wakes her up, she just takes a deep breath and rolls over and goes back to sleep. She makes me feel like such a baby! Obviously, her pain is not as intense as mine. There's no way I could roll over and go back to sleep with this disc pressing on my nerve! I have to jump out of the bed and walk around to relieve some of the pressure.
I took a narcotic pain pill last night---and I still woke up about 5 hours later, in horrible pain! If this does not get better, I can see that I will be asking them for long-term pain and sleep medication. I cannot see living my life like this----not long-term. I am trying to be patient, but it's not getting any better.
Maybe the physical therapy will help, although last night, it made my back worse!!! Dang therapist! I hope she knows what she's doing!
Oh, I feel for your husband. It is not an easy thing to live with. Can I ask what meds he takes?
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Gayla
#150195 - 02/15/05 06:26 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thanks for your encouraging words. Please pray for me. I don't know how much more patient I can be. This is painful---and I need my sleep.
So you have the same pain too? Does it wake you up at night?
During the day, I feel pressure in my lower back (where my tailbone is.) But at night, when that disc presses on that nerve, I have all kinds of crazy things going on in different locations in my back. I'm almost afraid to go to sleep because I don't know what's going to happen!
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Everyone has different pain threshholds BL. Just because my dad can stick it out doesn't mean you're a wuss at all. Its tough to deal with pain when you can't sleep at night. That can be difficult. Just hang in there.
As for my dad, if I can be half the man he is then I will be ok in life.
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for your words of encouragement to me. They have meant so much!
I was so hopeful that my doctor could do something to help me. It is just now beginnning to sink in that he told me there's not much I can do for this except try physical therapy----which is extremely painful!
I don't know how much longer I can stand this pain at night. I know I don't have a choice but to deal with it. How do people deal with this?
I am having a problem with my mother---and need your advice. She has had an MRI done in the past and they told her she has some degeneration of the same area of her back (wonder where I got this?) ----and she never takes any pain meds. She tells me that she just takes a deep breath and goes back to sleep when her back hurts. She makes me feel like a wimp! There's no way I could do that!
Obviously, the discomfort she is feeling is not the searing hot pain I have running up and down my back at night! When it hits me, I have to get out of bed and walk around. Last night, I felt like I was going to throw up or faint. That's how bad the pain was---and that was after taking a narcotic pain pill.
So I feel like she thinks I'm exaggerating---and that I'm a hypochondriac. Every time she calls me, she says, "I know what you're going through. I have the same problem. Why don't you take an Advil before bedtime?" I have told her that I've taken 4 Advil and 2 muscle relaxants (yes, at one time!) ---and still couldn't sleep because of the pain.
What part of this does she not understand? Isn't it obvious that if someone takes 2 very strong narcotic pain pills at night and is still woken up from a deep sleep that they are in extreme pain?
I don't want to hurt her feelings, because I know she means well. But I am going to explode the next time she calls me and says I need to relax!
Please pray that I don't totally lose my temper with her.
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...pointing out to her that everyone has different pain thresholds (and maybe her's is really good - that kind of thing tends to go down well) and people get the same problem but get affected by it differently? I've had a similar problem with my Mum and my Fibro...she's always saying stuff like she has trouble sleeping and she's always tired, etc, etc. It's taken a while, but she's getting there. For me, pointing out that on a bad day, I don't have the energy to even wash the dishes, got through to her. I think she thought then "I don't get THAT tired!" 
Good luck. Always a difficult one to deal with.
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Here's the meds my husband is on for his back:
Hydrocodone 7.5 mg / 4 times a day (these are lortabs)
Amitriptyline 75 mg 1 pill at bedtime (for sleeping)
Without these, my husband would be suffering a great deal more!
He was on Gabapentin (Neurontin) for a while and it TOTALLY eradicated his pain. He was actually able to walk, stand, sleep and feel totally normal again. It truly is a miracle drug. BUT, he had severe side effects to this medication and his personality became very aggressive and mean. He stopped taking it and returned to his normal, happy self. We found out later that he was started on way too high of a dose and that's why it caused these severe symptoms in him. I'm just telling you this in case it is suggested for you. As long as you are on appropriate doses it is a miracle drug! My hubby's doctor offered to start him on it again, at the proper dose, but he was too afraid of it. It also helped his diabetic neuropathy.
I told my husband about you having the same thing as him, and it made him feel good to also know that he is not alone in the severity of it. Before he started on the Amitriptiline, he was only sleeping maybe 2 hours at a time and then he'd be up. He thought he was going to go crazy from the lack of sleep. At least now, he is able to rest. This stuff really knocks him out good, but it's been a blessing to us.
Hang in there. I know first hand how very hard and life changing this is. It's such a shock to us! It has changed everything in our lives. He is on disability because he can't work or do anything. It's very sad, but he keeps on trying.
He never gives up. He has an appointment today with his Ortho doctor. For 2 years, he has kept on going and trying. He has it now in his shoulders, so he wants this specialist to see if there is something that can be done about it.
Just keep going, bl. Keep letting your doctors know how you feel and don't let up until you are at least getting a good night's rest.
My heart goes out to you,
Terri
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*HUGS* I really hope your doctor is able to help you, BL. My dad has a lot of issues with the discs in his back ( I don't remember the details at the moment) from a severe car accident that happened my freshman year of college. He's on generic celebrex and oxycodone for the pain, and he has a special Homedics chair next to the bed for his back. I'll see if I can get the info from him about the chair, though I think the cat sleeps in it more than he sits in it sometimes! He drives for a living, he's a hardware salesman, so that makes his back even worse. I've seen how much pain my dad gets in at times, I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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I think it's time for some honesty. Just say, "You know... I know you mean well but I'm having a really hard time right now and when you compare my situation to yours it makes me feel worse. Obviously we are not in the same "place" so if you could just understand and respect that it would validate my feelings and make it a lot easier to talk to you".
Sound well rehearsed? It is. My mother means well but drives me plumb NUTS. 
Big hugs. I'm SO sorry they can't do more for you. You know, new treatments and meds and procedures are coming out all the time - it could be in time that they have more options for you. In the meantime, prayers and maybe the therapy will help? Hang in there!!
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Take care,
Michelle
...the greatest of these is LOVE. (I Cor 13)
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Ya, not surprised that you already saw it as I just did a quick google search.
I am a HUGE wuss about pain and I don't know how you do it. It must be very hard.
It will get better. Just make your doctor help you! That's what I did (IBS) and I'm glad i was so insistent.
Big gentle hugs to you.
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BL
#150286 - 02/15/05 09:48 AM
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You are a STRONG woman! When I got the fibro pain in the beginning I didn't even get out of bed some days! And here you are geting out of bed and going and doing. And it sounds like you're pen is a million times worse than mine was...
As for your mother--that is TOTALY unfair! She probably just wants you to feel better and it hurts her that your in pain...but I agree with what everyone has said so far--letting her know that it's making things worse. You have enough to deal with right now and taking care of your mother's feelings should NOT be on your shoulders!
When I wake up in the middle of the night from fibro pain I try and do something to take my mind off of it...like read (if I can hold a book in my hands!), wash dishes, etc. I try to be productive. Sometimes the pain is too severe. I don't know if this helps you...it sounds like it doesn't that the pain is just too much...but I wanted to throw it out there just in case.
I wish I could do something...and I will pray for you! My grandmother gets the cortisone shots. And I have a friend whose mother has slipped disks. And it is awful! I am sorry that such wonderufl people are hurting so much *hugs*
Feel good and I pray that your pain should lessen every day!
With love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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Terri
#150403 - 02/15/05 12:37 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Gosh, your husband sounds like an amazing person! I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this. I have been in worse pain today. I went shopping---and I'm ok as long as I'm walking, but as soon as I got in the car, it started back up. I drove home, hugging the steering wheel, trying to get the pressure off the nerve, and feeling like I was going to pass out. I get this feeling of "I'm going to either throw up or pass out---whichever, but something has to make me feel better."
The pain med the doctor gave me is the Lortab, the 7.5 mg. like your husband takes. I took one last night, and still woke up with this hot, piercing pain in my back! I'm also taking the bipolar med which normally makes me sleep well, but not with this pain. I have heard that the amitriptyline is good for sleeping and pain. I will have to ask the doctor about that. I think it's an anti-depressant and I can't take those because of my bipolar disorder.
I'm embarrassed to say this but I'm driving down the road, talking myself into wanting to be here. I'm have to keep telling myself that I do want to be here to see my son graduate in June. I am panicking because I am having feelings of wanting to "check out."
The physical therapy made the pain worse, the pain medication doesn't help and the doctor says he can't do anything to help me. What do you do then? A friend suggested I see a neurologist or a neurosurgeon since they specialize in nerve problems. Has your husband had any experience with this? Or is his pain not nerve-related?
Thank you for your input. I really really appreciate it. I feel like I'm drowning. Everyone keeps telling me I need to deal with this, but I'm not doing a very good job of this.
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Yes, my husband has been to a neurologist. That's who gave him the Gabapentin to try. That is really great stuff for the pain. Better than anything.
But, like I said, the side effects were too much for my husband. He has neurogenic claudication from nerve damage due to diabetes and his spinal problems. Your friend is right. If you're not pleased with your treatment thus far, then by all means, see a neurologist. Evenutally, someone will find the right combination that will work for you. Just don't give up; no matter what.
My husband also goes to a pain management clinic. That's who gave him the lortab/amitrip combination.
Oh my gosh, I know how hard this is for you. I watched my husband suffer for a long time before he finally got some relief. He still lives with pain, but at least he can sleep now. I didn't realize that you might have troubles taking Amitriptyline with your other meds. But, still, DON'T GIVE UP! There's something, somewhere that will help you!
Have you tried a chiropractor? I see one for my own back troubles. Also, you haven't tried the cortisone shots yet and lots of people find relief with them. My husband had one round of them, and they didn't help him much. But, it's still something you might want to consider.
Just don't quit trying. There is an answer and God will lead you to it. I feel for you so much!
Terri
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I'm feeling better right now. Sorry. I know you ladies think I'm crazy. One minute I'm fine, and the next, I'm sobbing and hysterical---and this is without PMS. My moods are swinging back and forth.
I've been waiting on a call all day from the psychiatrist that treats me for bipolar disorder. I wanted to ask him if the cortisone shot would be ok for me. They can induce mania in a bipolar person.
I left both my home phone # and my cell phone # with their office. Would you believe I was upstairs at home and heard my cell phone ringing in my purse downstairs? I ran downstairs but didn't get to it in time (it was buried in my purse!) ---and it was the doctor's office calling. Why in the heck didn't they call my home number too? I just called and left another message on their voice mail.
Also, my sister had a serious reaction to a cortisone shot last year. So I am very nervous about getting one.
I will wait to see what he suggests.
Hopefully, tonight will be a better night for me. I just went to Target and bought me a small down throw. I have been so buried in blankets at night that if I get up out of the recliner, I trip all over them. Hopefully, this will be warm and cozy---and safer!!!! It was only $17 on sale.
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Hi, bl!
#150499 - 02/15/05 04:25 PM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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Oh, that's right. I forgot you said that cortisone shots might not be good for you.
Isn't that just the pits when you miss a call like that? I hate when that happens!
I don't think you're crazy at all. No way!!!! I'm just glad you're having some good moments.
No matter what mood you're in, or what kind of pain you're having; I am here to support you. That's what these boards are all about. I'm hoping so much that you have a great night tonight.
You're in my prayers and thoughts,
Terri
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Terri,
You are too sweet! You have been so nice---and so supportive of me and I really appreciate it. You don't know how much it means to me. I have a group of ladies in my neighborhood that meets every Tuesday for coffee, and although I enjoy getting together with them, they have not been very supportive of me lately.
One of the other ladies pulled a muscle in her back recently and she went to physical therapy for 2 weeks---and yep, she was all better! So when they ask how I am, and I tell them it's not getting any better and in fact, has gotten worse, I
get these looks from them like "Geez, get over it!" I think they think I enjoy whining about it. They can't even begin to imagine how much pain I am in.
Today, one of them said "Just call the doctor and have him prescribe a muscle relaxant." I tried to explain that 2 muscle relaxants and 4 Advil (in one gulp!) didn't do the trick---but they don't understand. I've given up trying to explain.
Ahhh, an invisible handicap, as I call it. This afternoon, I went to Marshall's to get another one of these bras I had bought there the other day. I accidentally dropped it on the floor, and I was in too much pain to bend over and get it. I finally asked this teenage girl if she would pick it up for me. (I tried to explain that I had something wrong with my back.) She looked at me like I was such a nerd! Oh well, one day she will be old and falling apart too!
Ahhh, to be young and healthy again ....
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to bl
#150595 - 02/15/05 08:38 PM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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That's sad about what happened to you in Marshall's. We face that kind of thing ALL the time. My hubby can't even put his own socks on anymore. It's very hard to cope with chronic conditions. This all just hit us out of the blue; very unexpectedly.
Our friends have not been supportive at all of my hubby. They just have a very hard time with it. His best friend of 30 years, still hasn't accepted the fact that my husband can't walk very far at all. He STILL calls to invite him to go places like car shows and things like that. He just doesn't understand that Rick is disabled now. We've lost our friends, really, because of this. That makes it even harder for Rick, but he has a good attitude about things. He just tries everyday to make it as good a day as possible. (Today, we had a bad day pain wise!)
Well, at least you are not alone. Believe me, there's somebody here in Kansas who knows you're not crazy, you're not faking it, and it can be VERY painful!
And I know this is a very hard time for you.
You're going to make it through this. You really are!
Terri
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Terri
#150660 - 02/16/05 06:31 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Ahh, putting socks on! That is so painful for me now so I can relate to that. My feet were freezing this morning (in the recliner) and I almost asked my husband if he would put my socks on my feet, but I was afraid he'd think I was crazy! I can do it, but it would really hurt.
I feel for your husband ----with his friends. It really is an invisible handicap. If he were wearing a cast on his leg, people would be more sympathetic, but when you have back problems, no one can see it so they don't understand. When you turn down an offer to do something with your friends, they keep asking you, like they think it's only a temporary thing, and not something you deal with on a daily basis. It's very frustrating because you want to do things with your friends, but you are very limited to what you can do. That makes it so hard!
I have gotten frustrated lately because my husband still expects me to do what I've always done. Over the weekend, he wanted me to go out of town to watch our son play in a golf tournament (meaning walk 18 holes on the golf course.) I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!
Ever since he went to the doctor with me Monday and saw the MRI films, he has been muh more understanding. When he saw in black and white what my discs looked like and how one was touching the nerve, well .... let's just say that changed his attitude.
Your husband is very fortunate to have you. Not every spouse would be so loving and supportive. My husband and one son are very active. They golf, play basketball, etc. I'm very afraid of our future together because I don't want to stifle what they can do. I feel like I'm going to be sitting at home a lot while they are involved in some activity. How do you and your husband manage? Is he confined to the house all of the time?
Our youngest son is going off to college in the fall, and my husband and I will finally have some time just to ourselves. I was hoping we could travel, but right now, I can't even sleep in my own bed or walk down my own street. So I don't see us taking many trips together. Even riding in the car hurts!
I don't mean to sound like I'm whining. I just need to work through this. This is therapy for me to put what I'm feeling down in writing.
Thanks for listening! It is so nice to know someone who understands.
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I've taken Mobic, this anti-inflammatory medicine, the past two nights for my back. Last night, I could tell it had really made a difference. I slept so much better.
But I woke up in the middle of the night with very sharp pains in my stomach!!! One of the side effects of this medicine is gastro-intestinal bleeding, so I was scared to death.
I've put in a call to the doctor's office to see what they suggest. I'm afraid to take it again. It wasn't nausea or diarrhea like you have many times starting a new medicine, this was sharp pains shooting through my abdomen.
If it's not one problem, it's another....
Anyone ever taken this med?
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Re:BL honey,,,
#150745 - 02/16/05 09:53 AM
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gigi
Reged: 03/21/04
Posts: 1442
Loc: South Texas
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I know from what you have said that I do not have the same type of pain that you do. OH, I am so sorry that you are suffering so much. I wish I had the magic answer to clear it all up and send it away. I do have back pain, and the depth of mine comes and goes depending on my level of activity and STRESS. I do not have the same syptoms that you do. but, I have gone without sleep for other reasons, and after a certain point, your mind starts to take over in a very wierd way. You think about things that you wouldnt on a regular day, your breathing is different. Your skin is different, everything is effected. I take ativan for sleep, it helps me tremendously, it doesnt matter what kind of pain I am in, it always does the trick. I cannot imagine any doctor having a problem giving you some, your BP doc should be the one. IT is kind of like xanax, but it works so much better for me, it just relaxes me all over, and shuts my brain down so I can get some rest. It also works great when my nerves have had alittle too much going on. Like you have lately.
Let me know honey, I am praying for you, I know how badly you need your rest, for many reasons. love to you !!!
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My husband cannot do everything we used to do. But, he has a wheelchair now, so we use that when we want to go to a movie or the zoo or any place that would require walking. There are times when just sitting will hurt him, but we try to adjust to his needs, where ever we're at. Ask your doctor for a handicap parking deal. It really does help a lot.
This whole thing has been a transition in process for us. Rick slowly gave in to using a cane, and then he eventually went to a wheelchair, with the cane as a supplement. It takes time to have everything happen and learn what you'll need. Be patient, and keep going. It will all fall into place.
We aren't confined to the house, but we won't go to places that might be hard to get around in with a wheelchair. We can't go for walks together anymore and there's a lot of things he just can't do. When we go shopping at Wal-Mart, he uses their electric chairs to get around. When we go to the store together, he sits up in the front, while I do the shopping. We've had to change how we do things. It's harder now to do anything, but I'd rather have it like this; than not have my husband at all. So, the answer to your question. Yes, we stay home more. But, we don't miss out on what we really want to do and we still try to have fun.
Eventually, this will all work out for you. I'm glad your husband went with you to the doctor. I agree that helps. It helped me to see what my husband was really going through. I had a hard time accepting it at first and just didn't want to believe it. I remember expecting him to keep doing what he'd always done. Oh, yes, I just refused to believe he couldn't do it. Just don't push yourself beyond what you feel comfortable with and eventually your husband will learn to accept your chronic condition and help you. Going to the doctor with you is a good idea!
I don't always do things I want to do, because I won't risk hurting my husband just so I can satisfy myself. In other words, if it were to hurt his feelings for me to go play a round of golf, then I won't do it. I know that's not a popular attitude these days, but I can't help it. That's how close we are to each other now. He's the same way with me!
We have found that each day for Rick is a new day. He has good and bad days. Some are almost pain free, and others are tough. But, since getting past the initial shock of it all we have now eased into our new life.
Please don't apologize for "whining". Believe me, bl, I KNOW you're not whining at all. You're scared, in shock, and trying to sort all of this out. Talking is wonderful therapy and I will be here to help you any way I can. You know what? It helps me, too.
I haven't found anybody else who really understands what this can do to your life. Those closest to us often seem to think it's not as bad as it is. Afterall, a backache doesn't sound so bad, does it? Ha!!! It can be so debilitating and excruciating for the one suffering.
So, you just keep talking all you want. I've got time to listen to you everyday and I want to. Been there, doing that!
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Terri
#150849 - 02/16/05 01:56 PM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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Thank you so much for your words of comfort. You have no idea how much your support means to me, especially since I am not getting it from my friends and family right now. I consider this website a blessing, and I thank God I have you in my life right now. Otherwise, I think I would go crazy. You're right. Not many people understand what this is like.
My husband is coming around. Today, he called me and asked me to meet him for lunch. I thought I was going to die driving over to his office. I hugged the steering wheel because I could not sit back in the seat because of the pain in my back. When I told him this at lunch, he offered to trade cars with me, since his has the lumbar support in the seat and is much more comfortable than mine. He also said for me to make a list of chores that he needs to do and he will do them tonight.
That is another thing that is hard for me to accept---not being able to do housework. The physical therapist doesn't even want me doing laundry right now, because she doesn't want me bending over, like to get things out of the dryer. Last night, I tried to fix dinner, but I realized how many times I'd have to bend over (to get things out of the refrigerator and off the bottom cabinet shelf.) You just take these things for granted until you can't do them anymore.
But I am excited to say that today's physical therapy session was a lot less painful---and I made great progress. She is having me lie on my stomach and push up with my hands, arching my back and thus, strengthening the opposite muscles from the ones you use to bend over with. Monday, I was in tears and could barely do a few of them. Today, I started out at 30 percent mobility and by the end of the session, I could almost straighten my arms out when pushing up.
She swears this will take the pressure off that nerve and move the muscle that supports the discs. I hope she knows what she's doing. Only time will tell. I'm supposed to do these exercises every 2 hours, so I guess I will be on the floor tonight while watching American Idol!
Also, I called the doctor's office about the anti-inflammatory, Mobic, waking me up in the middle of the night with severe stomach pain. The nurse told me to stop it immediately, and after much discussion, we decided that I would start the Celebrex back. I took it for a little while this fall and it did help. I know it's gotten a lot of bad publicity lately because of the heart problems, but it doesn't cause stomach problems and that is what my mother and I have had problems with in the past. I hope that is the right decision!
Thank you again for listening. I appreciate you so much!
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Gayla, Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it so much. I am having a much better day today. My physical therapy session went well (see the post I just wrote to Terri on this). The therapist swears that if I continue these exercises that soon I should not have this pain at night. I pray she is right!
I am trying to give the therapy time to work. Patience is not one of my virtues, especially when I've been sleeping in a recliner since right after Christmas. If things don't improve soon, I will pursue a medicine for sleep. The thing that is so scary to me is that even with 2 very strong narcotic pain medications, I still woke up in pain. The doctor said it is because the pain is nerve-related and not a muscle. He said this is the hardest to alleviate.
The physical therapist tried to explain that at night your joints in your back fill with fluid and that is probably why after several hours of sleep, this disc is being pushed on to the nerve. I'm afraid that no sleep medicine will keep me from having this pain.
I'm scheduled for a nerve test on March 1st to see if I have any permanent nerve damage. That should be a lot of fun! Supposedly, they hook you up to electolodes and you feel shocks. The nurse said it was mildy uncomfortable. When I balked at doing it, the doctor said it couldn't be any more uncomfortable than the pain I'm experiencing at night! That's a comfort! I don't know if any pain would be any more intense than that!
Oh well, I HAVE to get through this, whether I like it or not. I have to be strong. And I don't know what I would do without the support of all of you on the boards. Thank you all so much for listening and offering advice.
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How is your family doing? I hope everything is ok. I will keep them in my prayers. Give those grandchildren a big hug for me!
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I'm so glad to hear about your husband asking for a to do list. That is so understanding and nice. You're right; he's coming around.
Wow, you sound so much like my husband. He can't bend over either and he can't help out with chores at all. He feels bad about it, but he really can't do it!
I know it must be very hard to not be able to cook like you want to. But, you really can't do it for now. Stock up on some Marie Callendar dinners or Lean Cuisine or Weight Watchers or whatever will help you through this time of adjustment.
Wow, I hope the physical therapy works for you. My husband has never had therapy for his back. I wonder if it would help him. If it works for you, maybe there is hope for him.
My hubby had the nerve conduction test, also. Is that the test you're going to have done?
I'm glad your nurse told you to stop the Mobic?. Sounds like you have a good doctor!
I hope you enjoy American Idol. We're hooked on it around here! It's a nice distraction.
Hope you have a great night, bl. I'll be thinking of you and I'm still praying for you, too.
Your life isn't over; it's just beginning a new chapter.
That's how it's been for us anyway.
I'm glad that I've been able to help you. You're a good ear for me, too, and I appreciate you also.
Terri
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BL and Gayla
#150935 - 02/16/05 04:47 PM
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Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
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I'm so sorry to hear about your back problems. Bad stuff those backs! And painful too.
Sorry to but in here, I just wanted to express my concern for both of you. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Bevvy
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<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
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Thanks for asking, we had a good week. My son is off of the graveyard shift for a few weeks, so the boys wont be staying with us at night. Boy, I sure do miss those kids, they are fun, and funny, and full of love. I hate it that they aren't here with us, purely selfish reasons though.
You are in my prayers too honey !!! Hope that therapy helps you out !!!
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You two give me so much hope. IT doesn't matter what I am down about today, just reading your positions and encouraging words to each other, really make me feel good. That maybe my problems aren't as bad as I see them to be.
God Bless You Both!
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Gayla!
#151025 - 02/16/05 10:12 PM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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Gayla, you're such a sweetheart!
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Thank you for saying what I have been trying to convince myself ("Your life is not over. It's just beginning a new chapter.")
This morning I have constipation---obviously, a side effect of the Celebrex! Ugh! I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt uncomfortable, like I knew nothing was moving through my system. Dang medicines! If it's not one thing, it's another!
I am trying to adapt. I wish I had a photo of me sleeping in the recliner. You ladies would get a kick out of that! Picture this---I have one of those Mooshi neck rolls on to keep my head from falling over, a towel pinned around my waist (physical therapist's orders!), a bed pillow under my knees, socks on my feet, 2-3 blankets, several bath towels rolled up on the sides of the chair to keep me from rolling off----and last, but not least, my pink Christmas flannel pajamas on! Not exactly a romantic sight for my husband to see every night!
Oh well, hopefully, this is just temporary. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. My goal is to sleep all night in the bed. Right now, I can stand it about 3 hours at the most, and then, I'm back in the chair.
And yes, American Idol is a great distraction. Do you remember one of the girls, Sarah Mather? She made it to the next round last night. She has dark, curly hair and big boobs. She graduated from the high school my boys go to, and her parents live several miles from me! Last year, we North Carolinians watched Fantasia, and the year before, we rooted for Clay because he went to school here also. Cool, huh?
You said your husband had the nerve conduction test. Was it painful? (be honest!)
I hope you have a good day!
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Hi BL,
Just wanted to say that you have such a positive outlook with your back pain. That's wonderful! I can just picture you on the recliner with all your towels & blankets....HA HA! I bet it was kinda cute!
Your goal of sleeping through the night in the bed is a good one. I hope it happens very, very soon. And, from one of your other posts I read it seems like the physical therapy might be helping! Great! Keep us posted.
Wishing you the best of luck
Barbie
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Hi bl!
#151095 - 02/17/05 07:09 AM
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MissS
Reged: 02/11/04
Posts: 837
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You're right about it being one thing or another. It seems like hard times, including physical afflictions, run in cycles like that. Better times are coming!
Well, North Carolina has a lot of great singers, huh? I don't remember Sarah Mather in particular, but that's pretty neat that so many idols have been from your neck of the woods!
Was the nerve conduction test painful? For him, yes it was painful. My husband is a chubby guy and it was even more painful because he's so overweight. A friend of ours had it done a few months ago, and she said it was very uncomfortable for her, too. She's a nurse and she knew what was coming, but it's a very important tool in diagnoses, so she did it. It wasn't as bad for her, as my hubby.
I can picture you in your chair; sleeping. To heck with how you look though; comfort and sleep is all that matters at a time like this. I'll bet your husband thinks you're very cute! I'm sure he's just concerned with your health and how you feel.
Terri
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Ohhhhh!
#151120 - 02/17/05 07:33 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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I figured you were going to say the nerve test was painful. I could tell by the reaction on the doctor's face when I questioned him about it that it was not going to be a piece of cake! I'm dreading it, but I know I need to have it done.
It only lasts 30 minutes. If I can lie completely still on that hard table for 30 minutes for the MRI, surely I can stand this for half an hour. (see how I'm trying to talk myself into this!)
Think I will go to Goodwill. I need to get out of the house.
This morning, I can do 10 of my exercises just like that---with no problem! Monday, I could barely do a half of one! Don't know if this is gonna help my back, but I'm getting proficient at the exercise!!!!
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I love shopping at Goodwill. Come on, let's go and spend the day away from here. It'll do us good to get out for awhile.
That's good news about your exercises. I think that's wonderful to hear!
Hope you have a great day!
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