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I can't believe what I'm reading! What kind of friend would do that! I would definitely be so very insulted by that kind of treatment, especially when it's like you're getting kicked while you're down. And what a kick in the face after doing so well with your IBS and then for her to say that it's get in the way of her wedding. I think she's just really ignorant to think that you wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm so mad at her for you! I'm surprised you kept your cool and didn't storm out and say you weren't going to the wedding. It's almost like maybe she needed to make someone else a bridesmaid and pulled excuses out of her butt to fire you. This is an outrage! Try not to let this get you down if that's possible because we all know how far you've come and you know that for yourself too and that's no way for her to treat a friend. HUGE HUGE hugs for you and don't make her a bridesmaid in your wedding 
MAybe the IBS gods will strike her down now that she's been so mean about it. Hugs hugs hugs Sinead!
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Isn't it annoying when you trust a friend enough to tell her what's going on in your life and then she treats it like a sign of weakness! YES!!
She should know that you would be one of the strongest and most dependable people to have around her on her wedding day just because you already have to cope with so many things. So true! Don't let it get to you, Sinead - it's her loss, not yours. That is really sweet and I tend to agree, I would be a great Bridesmaid, I am very sociable, am organised, don't take a bad photo..ideal candidate!
Sending you hugs! Thanks so much Josephine
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S.
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Going out on a limb here, but do you think there may be some possibility that she really is concerned for you and your well being?
Honestly, I think she thinks she is concerned but has other motives and has convinced herself that this is her motive
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What, is she thinking you are gonna have to run down the aisle in the middle of the ceremony to visit the bathroom? Give me a break! I don't even get D attacks, just pain and she knows this Sounds like she is simply a spoiled self centered person who wants everything to focus on her I guess. BRIDEZILLA! I agree, its a lot like she hasn't had many problems in her life, her Dad died when she was young but she doesn't remember that but she hasn't really had to deal with any traumas and has never wanted for anything
Like Tina said, she obviously isn't the friend you thought she was, which is also very hurtful to you now.
Yes, she is a very sweet, kind person but this is just strange!
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I don't think you need an excuse not to go to the wedding. She gave you a very good reason not to go. I don't think I could go and watch someone else take my place.
Padhraig doesn't want us to go at all, he is dead against it. I think it will be hard but unless I have a fantastic reason I will be going. Will be a very strange day, especially as one of my best friends is a bridesmaid
Thanks so much Augie for all you had to say, I am quite mad at the whole thing at the moment, but need to focus on going away this weekend instead...yippee!
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S.
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Tamara
#137109 - 01/11/05 02:06 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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Here we don't have showers or pay for our own dresses. Bridesmaid organise the hen night (bachelorette party) and help out with the arrangements. The cost would be in days off to do wedding related stuff and cost to my sanity too!
It'll just be odd to be there and see someone else doing my job that's all...and of course feeling inadequate on account of it and trying to explain to everyone why I am not doing it....
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S.
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Oh I don't think I will be re-hired! And if I am I will refuse graciously.
I don't really want to be a bridesmaid because it would be such a nightmare, I just wish I had never been asked in the first place and that would have been fine, but I have been thinking about being bridesmaid at this wedding for two years!
Thanks for the hugs. Hope you are doing OK with not smoking and are sticking to it! Good luck with that and thanks so much again
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S.
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TeeCee/Amy
#137111 - 01/11/05 02:17 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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Thanks girls, I don't get it either! Everyone has made me feel so much better though, THANKS!
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S.
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Brittany
#137112 - 01/11/05 02:20 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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I KNOW ! (said in the style of Monica from Friends) What is she like? I am insulted and hurt, to say the least!
I have two sisters so she was never in the running to be a bridesmaid for mine.
I agree about her needing to make someone else bridesmaid, that will be confirmed by whoever she announces is my replacement (god help them!)
She is a nice girl, I think she just completely misunderstood my issues and my life, to her cost believe me!
Thanks for your hugs Brittany, How are you doing today?
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S.
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Now, its too bad the wedding is not this week. With the way I am feeling I'd fly to Ireland just to caough all over the food, then fly back. Okay, seriously not as good as Nelly's suggestions on what she would do but hey I can't really compete with Nel.
Honestly though Sinead, your friend so copped out for no good reason. Although you would make a wonder and more importantly beautiful bridesmaid, you don't need this kind of crap from a "friend." I'm all about respect and you were disrespected and I don't like that.
Anyway, I think my fever has caused me to go on a rant but at least my sense of humour is intact.  This is justmy opinion, I could be wrong... 
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Oh my gosh..I can't believe you just said "I know (in the style of Monica from Friends)" my best friend and I ALWAYS type that in emails back and forth to each other when she's away at school or in instant messengers if that's how we mean it. That's so funny!
Well I'm glad you're being level-headed about this crazy bridesmaid issue, because I think I'd be so much more upset and hurt by that. You are right though, now it's one less thing to worry about - and I say you spend the money you would have spent on a bridesmaid's dress on something else fabulous for yourself...you were going to be spending the money anyways right?? and now it won't be on some cheesy dress you'll never wear again 
Thanks for asking how I'm doing. I'm feeling better more each day, but still kinda fragile if that makes sense. And now I'm all off with school starting yesterday which I'm not too thrilled about. Back to being sleepy all the time. Well this morning I'm planning to get the pedicure that I had to reschedule from being so sick last week cause my classes don't start until 12:30 this afternoon but they go straight through 9:45 tonight  and I live a 1/2 hour from school so I won't be home till late. I scheduled it so I have Wednesdays off from school though, so I can sleep in tomorrow a bit before doing homework.
Well I better go get ready. Hope you have a better day today and Paris is soon!! You have no idea how excited I am that you get to go there - it's my fav place. I told my parents I want French lessons for my 21st bday present next month. Something useful
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Re: Brittany
#137118 - 01/11/05 04:59 AM
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cailin
Reged: 08/12/04
Posts: 3563
Loc: Dublin, Ireland
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and I say you spend the money you would have spent on a bridesmaid's dress on something else fabulous for yourself...you were going to be spending the money anyways right??
That's one tradition we don't actually have here, the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses. I will get away with giving a smaller present though and will get to spend the day (if I go) with BF and friends rather than with the wedding party!!
That is a VERY long day you have today, glad you rescheduled the pedicure. I have never had one done (or a manicure!- they are not as common here at all as they are over there, although they are becoming more popular, the first nail bars only opened here in the last 2 or three yrs) I have a gift voucher from a beauty salon that I got for my birthday last year and I am going to either have a facial or a massage. I got a foot spa for Christmas but haven't used it yet.
French lessons for your 21st? How practical! Ask for diamonds girl and pick up a language course at the library! I have the beginners spanish tapes at the moment, I speak fairly good French, or used to, I studied it as part of my degree, and have basic German too so Spanish is next and then I can go visit South America!
Have a good day!
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S.
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