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Terri,
I don't have a good answer for you on this. I just send you hugs and prayers that maybe all of this can be fixed.
I also have a similer situation although my son is not married yet he does have a fiance'. She does not like us either why I don't really know.
I hope you can at least see your son and grand kids.
Best of luck for you and your family
Terry
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Well, I guess we have more in common than just our names, don't we? It is a difficult situation and one that may not have an easy solution. I'm thinking that maybe backing off and taking a rest from it, might be the best thing for now; for all of us. Good luck to you,
Terri
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Terri,
These kind of these are hard to deal with. Backing off may work, it's always worth a shot.
We have not seen our son but one time in a 1/1/2 years because of this fiance' of his. Last Christmas he called and said Merry Christmas this year he did not.
His sister called him at the fiance's parents house on Christmas and the long and short of that he said he did not want to talk to any of his family and she heard him say it from his own mouth.
Wasn't nice, she just wanted to wish him happy holidays and let him know he would be an Uncle real soon. Our daughter is expecting a baby any day now. Apparently he wasn't interested.
This seems very strange but this girl is an only child as well. I don't know if that really has anything to do with it or not.I tried very hard to get along with her and I thought we were getting along fine until last year before Thanksgiving she had my son tell me over the phone she did not like being around us.
By the way this year and last year she sent a Christmas card with pictures of the two of them. This year she sent pictures with him on his knees giving her a ring.
She claims to be a Christian but I find it hard to believe.
Christians usually don't behave that way.
We did notlet that keep us from having a very nice holiday however.
One day maybe he will wake up and remember he has a family too.This is all from a Fiance' not a wife I shutter to think what will happen when they are married. I have always told her and my son that all I want is for him to be happy, so I'm not sure what her problem really is.
Oh by the way the worst part of this is I have a younger son at home who is 15 that gets hurt in this , which to me that is the most hurtful thing about this whole mess.
Well enough already. I hope that we all can fix our broken family's and have peace and love in the future.
Terry
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Sorry to be so blunt and brutal, but this girl sounds like a wack job. If your son loves you and your family, he should divorce her and get custody of the children. It is not you at all, it is her. I am sure you are a great MIL, and have done nothing wrong. If she is so disrepectful to his family, that is the same as being disrepectful to him. Good luck!
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Terri
#134534 - 01/03/05 05:52 AM
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BL
Reged: 06/01/03
Posts: 3522
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How is your daughter and granddaughter? Please post pictures! I wanna see the baby!
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Hi Terri,
I'm sorry you're having problems with your daughter-in-law. I get along fine with my mother-in-law, though I think it does take some effort on each of our parts as we're very different. But I've known her a very long time and we do love each other. Though it does sound like there's something strange going on with your dil (I would never slam the door on a relative, regardless of what they did), it might be possible you've done something with the best of intentions that really upset her. My mil has a great heart but she does have a few personality flaws that tend to really aggravate me. For one, when she gives gifts she always gives what SHE would like and never thinks about what her son or I would like. Though I appreciate getting a gift at all, it does make me feel like she's not really interested in who I am as a person, or that she doesn't know me or her son very well. Secondly, she tends to valorize her sons (including my husband) and ignore the fact that (though he is the love of my life) he has some flaws as well. When she makes statements that make him sound perfect, it's really annoying. While she doesn't exactly blame me, she holds me accountable for the fact that he didn't finish college on time (NOT my fault- I told him I wouldn't marry him until he got his darn thesis done), moved away, became a vegetarian, etc. Every life choice he's made, as a grown adult, that she disagrees with she attributes to me. I'm far from perfect, but darn it, so is he. I choose to ignore those though, and focus on the good qualities of my mother-in-law, something that it sounds like your dil would be unwilling to do. Really, I think the problem you have here is with your son. Even if he tries to avoid conflict, he's the one who currently has a relationship with both of you, and he's the only one who knows what the heck is going on. I think he needs to step up and take an active part in trying to fix this- if it doesn't matter enough to him to do so that might be a bigger problem than whatever's going on with the dil. At least that's my two cents. 
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