Social gatherings that iclude food make me uncomfortable. Does anyone else feel this way?
#119763 - 11/07/04 06:02 PM
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Casper
Reged: 10/16/04
Posts: 407
Loc: Memphis, TN
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Hi. I'm new to this forum, but I've been chatting on the IBS board for a few weeks. Today I went to the movies with my family and i felt like a complete loser because while my kids and hubby munched on chocolates and soda pop I had my pathetic bag of cereal and a water bottle.  Does anyone else feel out of place when going out with friends and family. Our kids' school had a steak dinner last week and all I ate were the rolls they passed out at the beginning of the meal.  ALL MY FRIENDS know about my diet, because I'm not shy about it, but I still feel like the odd one out at social gatherings that include eating.
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Oh yeah...
#119769 - 11/07/04 06:48 PM
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atomic rose
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 7013
Loc: Maine (IBS-A stable since July '05!)
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I've been actively avoiding social gatherings that include eating for the past 7 or 8 months now. Restaurant food - even stuff that's "safe" - is such a trigger for me, and other people's cooking makes me so paranoid, that I literally haven't eaten food outside my own house since April.
I don't have good advice, I'm just commiserating. With the holidays fast approaching, I'm going to have to buck up and figure out some way to deal with this, because while it's been pretty easy to weasel out of dinner invitations at my boyfriend's father's place, getting out of Thanksgiving or Christmas at his mother's is never going to happen. 
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this is, for me, the worst part of having ibs. for sure. its a real attention seeker and I don't enjoy having the attention of me (I blush easily ). I am still struggling with it, but getting better. It lead me to having social anxiety disorder for a while around a dinner table...its getting better. Its best to be open about it from the beginning. My biggest problem was a lot of women making up that I was anorexic etc...that was hard...I am naturally petite (5'4 and 105 pounds)...it hurt and I am not very tough. But it has taught me to be sensitive to others.
The most important thing is to put health first and by you sticking to your diet...it will inspire your children to take care of themselves too, in anything life sends them...
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Feel the fear and do it anyway!
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Don't we all!
#119777 - 11/07/04 07:17 PM
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peaches
Reged: 09/28/03
Posts: 1183
Loc: Fort Wayne, Indiana
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I understand completely. I'm like Casey - I rarely eat out at places (and I work in a steakhouse, so I feel ya on the steak issue!  ) If I ever do, like at a family get-together or something, I'll bring some of my own food from home so I won't feel too left out.
The good thing about Thanksgiving is that its main food is turkey! At least we know that's safe (as long as your host doesn't drown it in something crazy  ) ! And there's potatoes and stuff, too, so hopefully this holiday won't be a complete bummer for you? What are your plans? I hope this helped in any way....I feel liek this was more of a venting post more than anything!
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It comes down to the art of living on [color/red]
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On the plus side, in expalining to everyone my unusual eating habits, I have made two more people aware of Heather's diet that needed to know about it. It's amazing, but I had no idea until recently that some of my friends had IBS too.
Chany
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My parents-in-law took us out for dinner for my husband's birthday. When the waitress asked what I wanted I turned every color of the rainbow as I explained that I could not eat anything on the menu but the chicken soup (which they were out of) and could she please just bring me some fresh bread.
By the way, commiseration is sometimes just as good as advice.
Chany
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I'm so frustrated about this social eating thing. We've had so many things going on that we could not avoid and I feel like the whole world knows about my "crazy diet".
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I'm a college student, so there's eating out a lot. I usually either eat beforehand if I can, and just enjoy the company, or I manage to order the one thing possible on the menu I can eat. I work in the theatre sometimes, and they'll order pizza or something, I just make sure I bring my own food. As to my family, I've only been home twice in the past year. I ate nothing but homemade French bread that I'd brought with me last Christmas (I was in pretty bad shape IBS wise), and when I was home in March, I was working a robotics competition and was hardly home. My mom and my youngest brother have been diagnosed with IBS though in the past year, so Christmas shouldn't be too bad this year.
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Melissa
Friendship is thicker than blood. ~Rent
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Crazy diet!
#119815 - 11/08/04 06:47 AM
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Nelly
Reged: 08/06/04
Posts: 4381
Loc: Within stray mortar fire of DC
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I hear you on having a crazy diet. It's especially stressful when people try to keep score of what you can and can't eat.
Isn't it just human nature, though, that the more interested you are at finding out something, the more boring the answer will be once you find it??
I don't eat out unless I can choose the place. Funny enough, I always volunteer to order the food for office parties and get-togethers as a result -- I think people are getting the idea I'm more social than I really am!! But it's easier when *I'm* the one picking the food!!
~nelly~
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I hate dealing with trying to explain things.. actually though its worked out for the best.. we host a lot of the social gatherings so I know I can eat at those.. and when we go out.. DH gets actively involved in organizing things to ensure that we go places where I can eat something on the menu... so I dont' feel too left out except when the office does food related stuff- I have never been able to eat a thing here!!!!
I just pack my own food.. and my MIL and her hubby let me bring and prep my own stuff.. she's on a different wierd diet, so they can understand.. and DFIL always goes out with us to red lobster- I can order a few things there and make a fuss about being allergic to dairy, which saves me from the fish being cooked in butter...
my folks go for sushi with us- easy enough for me to eat at safely.. and moms diet isn't that far from mine otherwise.. though she does dairy free, red meat free, low fat, and low carb!!! I can't imagine eating that way...
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Dietetics Student (anticipating RD exam in Aug 2010)
IBS - A
Dairy Allergic
Fructose and MSG intollerant
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I feel the same way. Just hearing that someone might want to go out for dinner and invite us puts me into a panic. I would much rather eat at home any day. The only time I really feel comfortable eating out is when the place is close to home. I live in a little town and we do have rest. within walking distance. I can relax if I am close to home and can run home if I need too. I know people think I am very anti-social. I worry too much when we have to go out to eat or to someone's house.
You are not alone. I think there are many people here who feel the same way.
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Janey
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I'm a substitute teacher and for the past three weeks I've been covering the Kindergarten Teacher's maternity leave. 5 year olds are ... well they are adorable but.. they are also energy sapping so I usually make sure to pack a lunch box full of safe food to keep refueling. Well today I don't know hwat happend, but the kids had extra energy... and I ran out of snacks... and we were serving vanilla sandwich cookies to the kids for dessert... and there were some extra... so I blew it! I had two of them and I know I'm trying to kid myself because they were after all SANDWICH cookies which means I had four and creamy filling besides. Then I had some corn beef at dinner because that's what the rest of my family was eating and I couldmn't resist. So far I'm OK. I hope it stays that way.
Chany
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I feel the same way. And my BF has a huge family with so many gatherings. I now have to bring my own food (IBS and vegan) as there's nobody out there that would have a clue as to what to make me!
As for restaurants... There's a couple great veggies restaurants here that are IBS safe for me. But I do miss the others. My boyfriend is finding it very hard to deal with.
Not much we can do! This is the hand we've been dealt.
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