Happy Friday!
#114900 - 10/22/04 09:19 AM
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Got this email today, and thought it was cute. Hope everyone has a great weekend! (And if this was posted before, sorry for the duplicate!)
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
_______________________________
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
_____________________ _________________
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that
you've forgotten?
_____________________________________ Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
______________________________________
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
_____________________________________
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
_______________ _______________________
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?
A: Oral.
______________________________________
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
__________________________________
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere
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I've seen these before, but always laugh everytime I read them! I have sadly seen worse when I go to court with my boss and will have to remember some later.
-------------------- - Jennifer
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BTW - You made my boss's day too. He thought they were hillarious.
-------------------- - Jennifer
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LOL you crack me up!
-------------------- It comes down to the art of living on [color/red]
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So funny - I love the 'oral' one, and the last one.
-------------------- ~Cara~
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Funny LOL... I read somw of those somewhere before... alot of them were new though
-------------------- -Sheri
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Quote:
BTW - You made my boss's day too. He thought they were hillarious.
LOL - always glad to make the boss happy!
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Hey cutie!! I haven't talked to you in forever!!
How have you been? How's school going? Aren't you a senior this year? How's the driving going? And most importantly, how's the boy scene?
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