|
|
I don't have much time to post, am about to leave for my first haunted walk this year! 
Well, SaraSage, things are getting kinda complicated for ya! I am not sure how gay guys think. If I was still friends with the ones I had, I would ask thier insight. I had a freind (actually two) that were gay and at the time I didn't know, and they would ALWAYS be hanging all over girls. They would always kiss them and make out with them, too, than the gals would be heartbroken when the guys would not want tanything to do with them anymore. My one friend has a "serious" boyfriend, but if he went out without him and got drunk, he would always wind up hooking up with his best friend (a very attractive girl). He also said the comment to me last year about htis same girl, "You should see her halloween costume, she tried it on for me {she dressed up as a dominatrix}. I better not get to drunk. or someething will happen between us at the Halloween party".
Is it just me, or does that make no sense at all?
Maybe you should tone things down with him, and like answer every couple of emails, and force yourself to concentrate on work. You don't want to lose your job over him. if he calls you over to his desk, say that you can't. You could be friends, but just lose some of the intensity. last thing that yuou need is a guy that you aren't dating to make your life complicated! But, you also are taking the chance that if you tone things down that he might get mad and nt want to be friends at all.
About my own issues, I got to talking with the BF last night, and although we didn't talk directly about "us", we talked about relationships and marriage in general. He made the comment that one day when he marries, "maybe it will be to you, or maybe it won't". it didn't sound tacky, and it put me at ease, cause he is not thinking that far ahead anymore.
i also don't want to lose my best (and well, lets face it, only) friend, but for some reason this seems right for right now, even though I know it won't be right for much longer. Even though I know we are reaching the end, for some reason I am still enjoying the moment. It seems weird, I don't even completely understand it. But I am gonna make sure that as soon as things aren't right and that we aren't happy to move on. You are right, life is too short.
--------------------
-Sheri
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Well have a great time on your haunted walk. Sounds like fun. 
About my problem. I do agree that it's getting pretty complicated. I would never lose my job because I work with huge slackers that surf the net and make lots of long personal calls a day. I am the hard working one in the bunch! Plus my boss lets them get away with that as long as the work gets done. The same would apply to me.
I will see what happens on Tuesday and what his thoughts are. I think I will let him know that I cannot be writing so many emails to him. One particular co-worker came over a few times to my desk one day and each time I was responding to one of his emails. But like I said, she isn't an angel and talk to her boyfriend on the phone for 15-20 mins 5 times a day!
I think if I explain to him that things are too intense and that this isn't a typical friendship that he'll agree. But as I've said, I do want him as a friend because he is a great guy. I would say that even if he was ugly.
About your guy. Well that's good to know. I wonder if he senses that the end might be near too? Or that you're losing interest a slight bit? Who knows, but it's good that you know where he stands now.
I've had so much time to think about my own relationship this weekend but haven't come to any conclusions yet.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I have been reading through these posts and felt compelled to respond to this...I am not technically married (but we might as well be!) Anyways, that is a long story (we work together so there are a few technicalities that must be ironed out) ANYWAY, as far as romance progressing to a friendship...From my perspective, I believe that is a NORMAL progression. The way you describe how you feel about him, it just sounds like you and him need to put the spark back. Maybe meet at a motel for a midday romp  or go somewhere peaceful to just sit back (together) in silence and reflect (depending on what type of person you are) My hubby and I get into a rutt and it feels like the same thing day in and day out...but with a little effort on both of our parts, we manage to keep the spark alive. We have been together for 2 years, but I know couples who have been together for 15, 25 years and share the same sentiments. I often tell people that he is my best friend and he is. There is no one I would rather "hang out" with then him. We play together (and I don't mean the sexual kind) we do kid's stuff, play video games, wrestle, tickle, just play and act silly....We tell stories about our things in our past and literally will spend hours just laughing. I can't imagine my life without him in it. At the beginning I got butterflies anytime we were together, but romance goes away (or fades). You have to have something else there to stay together. We share the good times and the bad....We still argue and disagree and sometimes we have to agree to disagree (especially when it comes to child-rearing) We each have a son from a previous marriage and we have a child together...So, we have gone through a lot of tribulation to get where we are today. We have certain rules that we live by (like always saying "I love you" to each other before we part, even when we are mad) to try and curb residual anger and hurt that breeds resentment. We put the other one ahead of ourselves and try to be understanding when each of us is in a foul mood.
I'm sorry, didn't mean to turn into some advice columnist... In response to your question, let me reiterate..if you truly feel the way that you described, then I think that your relationship is right on track...you just might need to relight your spark. As far as having a crush on someone, there is a guy I work with that I have a major crush on...but I would never sacrifice what my hubby and I have together, because the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Good luck to you.... J9
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi there, thanks for your long email. 
I do think that the main problem is that the spark is gone. *You're right about that*. I think that we've got used to not being "close" that now it's almost a hassle. That's a shame. Of course in the begining we couldn't keep our hands off each other and annoyed people with our constant kissing. I guess that goes away and doesn't last a lifetime?
Don't get me wrong, we say we love wach other all the time too and I still leave him silly loves notes on the fridge with big hearts all over. But it's more of a love than lust or strong physical desire.
Maybe I should see a counsellor or something to see what they say. I just don't know if it's fixable as this has been an isuue for a couple years, it hasn't just come up now.
I agree that crushes should stay like that and not progress if you're in a relationship and commitment. I would NEVER cheat on him EVER. I would break up with him before letting anything happen with someone else. It's never even come close to that in 10 years so maybe we have been doing well up until now.
Anyhow, thanks again.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Sometimes I have to almost "force" myself to be affectionate. I love to hug and cuddle, but like I said, we get into a rut...Usually then I will grab my sweetie and kiss him passionately...By the end of the kiss, I am feeling butterflies again...Admittedly, it is hard to keep it going and I get very distracted by the rest of life...Bills, jobs, kids...I have more of a problem with it then him...he brought it to the fore-front of my mind though when he said that it bothered him...so now i make a point of hugging him tight and giving him a "real" kiss once a day (no matter what else is going on)
Well, again good luck to you. Joint counseling might not be a bad idea..I hope everything works out for y'all.
J9
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ya, maybe that's a good idea. I will force myself to give him a real kiss as often as possible. Great idea actually!
Thanks.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
again, good luck to you both. I wish y'all the best. (by the way, if you learn anything else useful to keeping the "romance" alive, I would love to know)
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ok, I've been dreading it all weekend long. I have to see him tomorrow and find out if he even wants to still be friends since I told him I have a crush on him. Oh boy. I am SO nervous and wish that I never said a thing.
I don't know what will happen but no matter what I'm sure it will be awkward.
Wish me luck! 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
GOOD LUCK!!!
J9
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Thanks.
I am SO nervous this morning and all I have to say is thank god this is an IBS board so I can share that I had to take an Imodium this morning. Oh boy!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
Posts
