I need some love..
#104184 - 09/06/04 07:52 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have been stressing out something major lately..
Tomorrow is my first day of school.. yikes.. plus I've just spent the past two weeks moving into my own new place.. starting a job and working tons.. plus preparing for tomorrow. I feel like i'm not gonna have time to even sit for five minutes once things really get going.
plus i've been soo soo lonely. I seriously have not spent any time with another human being outside of work and i've been getting really depressed about it. Nevermind the fact that the reason I stayed in massachusetts was to be with my boyfriend who is now my ex boyfriend which makes it even worse. so much more worse.
I miss my mom and dad and I miss having friends. I'm sure i'll love it here once I get adjusted and meet people.. but for now i'm wishing I never met my ex cause then I wouldn't be stuck here all alone. Being here makes me miss him which is really bad.
Worst of all.. I come home from work tonight and his away message is "cuddling..." ugh.. its like a stab in the heart. I know everyones gonna say just take him off of your buddy list but I can't do it. I've tried. but I can't. Which is obviously hurting me. It hurts so much to know that he's so fine.. its just harsh to come home and see that. I mean for all I know its with his cats or his godson but still. I seriously want to put up an away message that says "sleeping with someone that has a wayy bigger (you know what) than my ex boyfriend." ugh but thats being just as pathetic as he is and I won't. I'm trying to think of something that will get him where it hurts. haha any ideas ladies?!?
I think I've cried almost everyday at least three times. I'm sorry I just needed to complain.. I'm lonely and I'm scared about school starting.. everything is stressing me out. 
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey there...
It's ok. Starting grad school is really stressful, as is moving to a new town. It's totally ok to feel stressed out and lonely and sad. But, Vinnie was a complete jerk and you'll find someone better. In the meantime, be excited that school starts tomorrow! There will be lots of people in the same boat as you and hopefully you find some people to go out with right away. Even if you don't, I never have a second to myself now anyway.
I'll be thinking about you and let me know how your first day is!
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Ashley,
LOTS OF LOVE COMING YOUR WAY!!! You've definitely got a lot on your plate at the moment and you said that you're stressed because you're not going to have much time to sit for even 5 minutes, but maybe that'll be good because your mind will be on other things and not on your ex who to me sounds like he isn't worthy of any of your thought time. 
Personally I also think its pretty insensitive of him to write what he did on his away message especially since he knows he's still on your buddy list. As for what you could do, I honestly think the best thing you could do is to go out and have fun with the new people you *will* meet. Focus your energy on having a great time, enjoying school and getting to know some fresh faces and I'm sure you'll find yourself much, much happier. 
Best of luck with school tomorrow Ashley, and feel free to vent all you want, its totally normal to be stressed with so many new things happening in your life!! 
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
thanks so much hun.. I'm totally needing support.
I know he's a jerk.. but it still sucks to know he's cuddling while i'm over here pining for him cause i've got nothing better to do.
anyways, the part i'm worrying about is having no time to do anything. yikes. i'll def let you know how tomorrow goes.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Love}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Big Fat HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
Ok Ashley, I've sent you all I've got for the rest of the day. Everyone is right, you are going to be sooo busy, you won't have time to think of him or anything about him. As a matter of fact, you will realize one day that you can't remember the last time you thought of him!!
You are such a sweet and pretty person inside and out, your new friends are going to be the type that you deserve !!
By the time you read this, your first day will be over, so I hope it wasn't too stressful, and that you made it just fine !!
gayla
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Sorry that you're having such a rough time I know it must have been really hard to see his nickname like that.
I'm afraid I don't have any really good advice, I just wanted you to know I'll be thinking about you and I hope your first day of school goes well. Try and look on the brightside, hopefully once you start school you'll meet a bunch of wonderful people who you can hang out with!
Take care,
Kelly
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hello!
*** Lots and lots of hugs ***
I'm so sorry you are feeling so lonely, I know how awful that feels. I can empathise with you about moving to a new town, since my friend left London I feel like I don't have any friends either. It's hard, but I can tell you it does get easier.. especially when you get busy and just start thinking about other stuff.
I can imagine seeing an ex's name like that feeling like absolute hell, and I'm really sorry he did that.. and then you had to see it. I think boys have a way of making us think that they don't care and when we care so, so much it can really hurt.. I'm not sure that they actually don't care or if it's for show, but either way.. he's an ass. 
The good thing about school is that it'll take up time during school for classes and stuff and then out of school for papers and stuff. Plus, there'll be tons of new people and hopefully you can use them as a distraction - I'm sure they won't mind!
Plus, I happen to remember you saying you wanted to get more exercise to get outta them 'fat jeans' (of which mine don't even fit me anymore.. oy.. ) so that'll be a good, healthy distraction.. get those endorphins flowing and you'll feel loads better!
Good luck, luv.. I hope your first day went well!
--Steph
--------------------
~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh Ash hon!
First things first, be strong and delete him from your buddies list. He was crap to you, he is no longer a buddy, okay. You're gorgeous and lovely and he obviously doesn't deserve you or he wouldn't have acted like he did. You do not want mean, stoopid people on your buddy list. Get him out of your life. You deserve better and you'll find it, but first you need to exorcise Vinnie.
You will have so much fun once you start school. You'll be busy, you'll meet new people, you'll make new friends and you'll spend time with all these different people! It'll be interesting, it'll be fun, it'll be good. Enjoy! NB. I'd love to be back at uni right now! You go enjoy your new life and make it obvious to the world that you do not need that jerk. And have fun!
Good luck honey! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
BIG HUGS
You will meet lots of new people at school and have a wonderfull year. It sounds like your ex did that just to get to you. I would take him off your buddy list. He is not a buddy. Buddy's don't try to hurt us they make us feel better. I know it can be hard after a break up but I am sure you will find someone great and treats you better than that.
Good Luck BIG HUGS
--------------------
Heather7476
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
MAN! That's really unfair!
I'm a bit unclear on something...are you starting college for the 1st time? Is that what you mean by starting school? If so...I suggest joining a club. You'll meet tons of new people and you'll be too busy to think about Mr. Ex!
In any case...PLEASE know that you are WAY GREAT and that you don't need this loser. And you're in MA for a reason! (Btw, hubby and I lived there for years and I went to college there!) You never know...you're true match could be there...and you're gonna miss him Even if he's not...give MA a chance. Go hang out at the Public Gardens. It's GORGEOUS there! Bring some music to listen to and lay out...or go shopping...whatever you like to do. Colpey's a fun place to go shopping. There's tons to do in Boston...at least you're not in a boring city...
You must be in a ton of pain right now. And I'm NOT trying to belittle that. You may not be able to be happy right waya...or go hang out...and that's okay. Give yourself time to adjust. It takes time to heal...sometimes lots of it. Bu you WILL heal and I have faith in you and your decision to move MA. I think you're great!
Keep posting and let us kno how everyting is going for you!
With love,
Ruchie
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
thanks so much.. you are an absolute sweetheart!
Sorry I confused you.. I actually graduated from umass amherst in 2003, so I've been in MA for awhile. After I graduated I moved in with the ex so we could stay together while he finished up his masters at umass. I then decided to apply for my masters when he finished his and applied primarily in virginia (where i'm from) and massachusetts. Well I got into TUFTS and decided to go there for grad school so me and my ex could be together. It was my only MA school I applied to so when I got in I figured it was fate that I was meant to go there and stay with him. Then this june he dumped me. very sad story.
So basically.. I really didn't want to stay in Massachusetts all that much.. but I knew I wanted to be with him and he was that important to me that I stayed. Now that we are broken up I just feel crappy that i'm stuck here alone.. when I should be here with him. I'm sure I'll enjoy it here.. I've never actually lived in boston so this area is still so new to me.
It just makes it harder to know that he lives like ten minutes away.. and that he's cuddling with other people.. while i'm still hurt over this. I probably shouldn't even still be hurt.. I mean we broke up two and a half months ago. I should be over it by now. I was getting better when I went and spent the summer in virginia with my family, but its hard to be back here without him, you know?
ok I gotta go.. thanks to everyone for their responses, and I'll respond later.. my first class starts in half an hour though. yikes.. I have two today.. and will be in class till 8:30 at night. yikes. wish me luck and thanks for the love.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Ashley - I read this message too late. How did your first day go?? I hope it went well, and you met some cool people. College - especially grad school - is SO busy, I know, but it's also a lot of fun. And believe me - you find a way to have fun and have time. It all works out somehow. Heck, I was an engineer with 20+ credit hours a semester, working 20 hours a week, and I still managed to have fun every weekend, and some Thursday nights!  You will figure it out, but I know it is VERY stressful in the beginning. I'll be thinking about ya!
Meanwhile, that was completely rude of Vinnie to write that. He did do it on purpose. He's trying to make you sad for some reason, which is just WRONG. Why would someone who loved you intentionally try to hurt you? He's not worth your time, or your buddy list. If you absolutely can't take him off, just write an away message like, 'Hangin out with my awesome new friends!! '
You're stronger than that. I know it's a rough time, but you will get through it. It'll only make you even stronger. And when you meet the right guy, you'll wonder why you ever sulked so much over Vinnie! And believe me - it sounds like you'll find true love before he ever does. :P
Smile! Everyone's gonna love ya at school.
~Cara
--------------------
~Cara~
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Two and a half months is nothing! It takes time to get over someone! The longer you were together...the longer it takes to heal. the more we give to someone...the more we lose......and you're such a giver, it's clear...
Wow, class is satrting so soon...I hope they go well for you! What are you tkaing right now? My best friend is at BU Med School righ now. She's so busy I never hear from her anymore
Anyway, let me know if you need any Boston help. Enjoy class...and don't pressure yourself to heal. It will come. You're not weird or anything for not being over him yet. Even when people hurt us and we know they're no good...it hurts because we care and we gave ourselves to that person. Congratulate yourself for being a sensative, caring giver...and know that one day you'll find someone that will be the same way you are and you'll have a healthy, happy relationship. In the meantime...we love you Ash!
*hugs*
Ruchie
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
awww, Ashley, that stinks.
We all told you that Vinnie was a big jerk that doesn't deserve you! He would be lucky to have you as a friend, but he is too stupid to realize.
i am sure that you are going to be so busy with school that in another couple of months you are gonna say, "Vinnie-who?"
Hope you are feeling better sweetie.
--------------------
-Sheri
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hey Ashley,
I know I am on the enemy's side (the men) but I know for a fact that it takes a lot longer than two and a half months to get over someone you loved and care about. When I broke up with my ex who I loved very much it took me about six months before I could even think about being another girl. And I know living 10 minutes away can be tough but I lived right next door to my ex for 9 months after we broke up. Not easy at all. You will come out of all this a stronger person, trust me on that.
You will meet new people. You will be happy again. You're a very attractive gal and when you are ready you will have your choice of men to go out with.
Hang in there... Things will get better
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
I remember when I moved away from home for the first time.
I was so stupid and moved close to where my high-school boyfriend moved. I found a college nearby and got in to one of their programs. A month after I moved there he dumped me! Yep.  What a jerk. But I wanted to finish my 2 year program as I was interested in it but like you didn't know anyone there at all.
I'd like to say that I met a terrific guy while living there but I didn't. I only went on 2 dates in 2 years. Yikes... It wasn't until I moved to another city, and went to a completely different college that I met my current (and probably final) boyfriend).
Hang in there and make every effort to be social and make friends. It makes living in a different city much more fun!
Best of luck! You seem like a fun person, I'm sure you'll meet at least one or two good friends soon! It just takes time
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
oh god cara... you sound like you were busy.. haha you can be my idol.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
tommy..
#104341 - 09/07/04 04:03 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
if it takes so long why is he already cuddling..
hopefully he means with his cat.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi everyone..
thanks so much for your repsonses.. you guys are so sweet and really made me feel better.
unfortunately his away message is still "cuddling" but whatever.. he's an ass. Thanks for reminding me. Its hard to remember that sometimes.. and it still hurts cause I give my all and love so much in my relationships.. ruchie was very right about me. So it makes the sting that much stronger.
Anyways.. I had my first two classes.. biological basis of behavior and seminar in psychological studies in education. The first one seems difficult and the second one seems more interesting than the first. Both are gonna be alot of work... but I kinda feel a little better about it all. I just learned i'll be reading from now until forever. haha but other than that it doesn't seem like too much work.
I had met a few people from my program last week at orientation so they were all familiar faces and we hung out in between class today outside and talked and we all exchanged email addresses and screen names. A bunch of them seem really nice so hopefully we'll have time to actually hang out outside of classes. That is one thing that is looking up.. I think I should hopefully be able to make a few friends. I'm sure it will take time before we're ready to hang out lots, but I def feel more comfortable. I think I'm one of the more outgoing in the group so i hopefully won't have too many problems.
I just don't feel ready for studying again. I took a year off and basically did nothing but hang out with vinnie for a year, so I'm still kinda in lazy mode. That will have to change.
thanks so much for the support everyone. you are angels.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Yaya Ash!
You have the best attitude!
I'm glad things are looking up. Enjoy your classes. I actually miss school...I miss writing papers LOL Writing a book isn't the same...even though it's great fun and brings out your creativity. Anyhow...I'm glad you're in school...the classes def. sound interesting!
I hope you take some time out to get to know the city if you have a chance. There's a place called Brew Moon on Boylston...it's a great place to hang out for drinks with a nice ambience. (If you're like me...you're not too shy to order a tea. I'll never forget this one date I had with a doctor...I ordered tea and he ordered water! LOL) There's just so much to see in Boston...I hope you like it there!
I'm so proud of you Ash! You know how special you are...how giving. Don't ever lose sight of that...it's a gift!
I hope studying goes well...keep u posted on everything!
With love,
Ruchie
--------------------
Formerly known as Ruchie
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
You already got really great replies from everyone else, so I'm just sending you my {{{{{{{{{{{hugs!}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Thank GOD it didn't work out, Ashley! What if you'd married Vinnie, no knowing how callous and insensitive he was!?! I know it hurts right now, but down the line, I think you'll be grateful!
--------------------
Christine
Those who can do; those who want it done better teach.
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Hey Pretty Lady!
#104391 - 09/07/04 09:14 PM
|
|
|
|
Bevvy
Reged: 11/04/03
Posts: 5918
Loc: Northwest Washington State
|
|
|
Ashley, I'm sorry, I missed this whole thread. I am SOOOOO behind in everything lately....
I just want to say that YOU BET you won't have any problems making new friends -- you're so personable, out-going with an absolute killer smile, everyone on campus is gonna love you.
You can do a LOT better than Vinnie; surely you know that by now. Regardless, if you love him as you say you do, then let him go -- and be happy for him, because you want him to be happy, because you love him. I truly believe that, if you do, it will help you let go, make it a lot easier on yourself, and allow room in your heart for others, people who deserve to be there, not people who can't appreciate what a fabulous person you are.
Above all, ENJOY COLLEGE! It's a great time of your life. I wish I had had the experience.....
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
Bevvy
--------------------
<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~letsrow/smily3481.gif">Bevvy
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Hi Ashley,
I'm so sorry your are feeling sad. I think it is great that you are keeping so busy. It always helps me to keep busy when I have something bothering me.....not so much time to think about it.
I really think you are going to love school. I bet you will make tons of new friends. Don't be afraid to say HI to people .....you never know who you will meet! Maybe some really cute guy.  I have a really strong feeling that your ex is going to be a thing of the past very soon.
Anyway, Good luck, and keep us posted
Hugs
Barbie
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
haha thanks girls...
who was it that says when you love someone let them go and be happy for them...
thats a pretty hard thing to do. haha.. I'm still quite angry for the way things panned out (ie how he called me..how he's avoided me like the plauge.. the immature way he handled everything) so its hard to be too happy about him and his new cuddle buddy.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
|
|
Oh he just put that on there to p#ss you off. Trust me on that, if he loved you, the only thing he is cuddling with is his pillow.
--------------------
Print
Remind Me
Notify Moderator
|
Posts
