I need some love..
#104184 - 09/06/04 07:52 PM
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I have been stressing out something major lately..
Tomorrow is my first day of school.. yikes.. plus I've just spent the past two weeks moving into my own new place.. starting a job and working tons.. plus preparing for tomorrow. I feel like i'm not gonna have time to even sit for five minutes once things really get going.
plus i've been soo soo lonely. I seriously have not spent any time with another human being outside of work and i've been getting really depressed about it. Nevermind the fact that the reason I stayed in massachusetts was to be with my boyfriend who is now my ex boyfriend which makes it even worse. so much more worse.
I miss my mom and dad and I miss having friends. I'm sure i'll love it here once I get adjusted and meet people.. but for now i'm wishing I never met my ex cause then I wouldn't be stuck here all alone. Being here makes me miss him which is really bad.
Worst of all.. I come home from work tonight and his away message is "cuddling..." ugh.. its like a stab in the heart. I know everyones gonna say just take him off of your buddy list but I can't do it. I've tried. but I can't. Which is obviously hurting me. It hurts so much to know that he's so fine.. its just harsh to come home and see that. I mean for all I know its with his cats or his godson but still. I seriously want to put up an away message that says "sleeping with someone that has a wayy bigger (you know what) than my ex boyfriend." ugh but thats being just as pathetic as he is and I won't. I'm trying to think of something that will get him where it hurts. haha any ideas ladies?!?
I think I've cried almost everyday at least three times. I'm sorry I just needed to complain.. I'm lonely and I'm scared about school starting.. everything is stressing me out. 
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Hey there...
It's ok. Starting grad school is really stressful, as is moving to a new town. It's totally ok to feel stressed out and lonely and sad. But, Vinnie was a complete jerk and you'll find someone better. In the meantime, be excited that school starts tomorrow! There will be lots of people in the same boat as you and hopefully you find some people to go out with right away. Even if you don't, I never have a second to myself now anyway.
I'll be thinking about you and let me know how your first day is!
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Hey Ashley,
LOTS OF LOVE COMING YOUR WAY!!! You've definitely got a lot on your plate at the moment and you said that you're stressed because you're not going to have much time to sit for even 5 minutes, but maybe that'll be good because your mind will be on other things and not on your ex who to me sounds like he isn't worthy of any of your thought time. 
Personally I also think its pretty insensitive of him to write what he did on his away message especially since he knows he's still on your buddy list. As for what you could do, I honestly think the best thing you could do is to go out and have fun with the new people you *will* meet. Focus your energy on having a great time, enjoying school and getting to know some fresh faces and I'm sure you'll find yourself much, much happier. 
Best of luck with school tomorrow Ashley, and feel free to vent all you want, its totally normal to be stressed with so many new things happening in your life!! 
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thanks so much hun.. I'm totally needing support.
I know he's a jerk.. but it still sucks to know he's cuddling while i'm over here pining for him cause i've got nothing better to do.
anyways, the part i'm worrying about is having no time to do anything. yikes. i'll def let you know how tomorrow goes.
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Love}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{Big Fat HUGS}}}}}}}}}}
Ok Ashley, I've sent you all I've got for the rest of the day. Everyone is right, you are going to be sooo busy, you won't have time to think of him or anything about him. As a matter of fact, you will realize one day that you can't remember the last time you thought of him!!
You are such a sweet and pretty person inside and out, your new friends are going to be the type that you deserve !!
By the time you read this, your first day will be over, so I hope it wasn't too stressful, and that you made it just fine !!
gayla
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Sorry that you're having such a rough time I know it must have been really hard to see his nickname like that.
I'm afraid I don't have any really good advice, I just wanted you to know I'll be thinking about you and I hope your first day of school goes well. Try and look on the brightside, hopefully once you start school you'll meet a bunch of wonderful people who you can hang out with!
Take care,
Kelly
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Hello!
*** Lots and lots of hugs ***
I'm so sorry you are feeling so lonely, I know how awful that feels. I can empathise with you about moving to a new town, since my friend left London I feel like I don't have any friends either. It's hard, but I can tell you it does get easier.. especially when you get busy and just start thinking about other stuff.
I can imagine seeing an ex's name like that feeling like absolute hell, and I'm really sorry he did that.. and then you had to see it. I think boys have a way of making us think that they don't care and when we care so, so much it can really hurt.. I'm not sure that they actually don't care or if it's for show, but either way.. he's an ass. 
The good thing about school is that it'll take up time during school for classes and stuff and then out of school for papers and stuff. Plus, there'll be tons of new people and hopefully you can use them as a distraction - I'm sure they won't mind!
Plus, I happen to remember you saying you wanted to get more exercise to get outta them 'fat jeans' (of which mine don't even fit me anymore.. oy.. ) so that'll be a good, healthy distraction.. get those endorphins flowing and you'll feel loads better!
Good luck, luv.. I hope your first day went well!
--Steph
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~~I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell-I know right now you can't tell~~Matchbox 20
IBS-D,pain.
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Oh Ash hon!
First things first, be strong and delete him from your buddies list. He was crap to you, he is no longer a buddy, okay. You're gorgeous and lovely and he obviously doesn't deserve you or he wouldn't have acted like he did. You do not want mean, stoopid people on your buddy list. Get him out of your life. You deserve better and you'll find it, but first you need to exorcise Vinnie.
You will have so much fun once you start school. You'll be busy, you'll meet new people, you'll make new friends and you'll spend time with all these different people! It'll be interesting, it'll be fun, it'll be good. Enjoy! NB. I'd love to be back at uni right now! You go enjoy your new life and make it obvious to the world that you do not need that jerk. And have fun!
Good luck honey! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
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BIG HUGS
You will meet lots of new people at school and have a wonderfull year. It sounds like your ex did that just to get to you. I would take him off your buddy list. He is not a buddy. Buddy's don't try to hurt us they make us feel better. I know it can be hard after a break up but I am sure you will find someone great and treats you better than that.
Good Luck BIG HUGS
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Heather7476
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MAN! That's really unfair!
I'm a bit unclear on something...are you starting college for the 1st time? Is that what you mean by starting school? If so...I suggest joining a club. You'll meet tons of new people and you'll be too busy to think about Mr. Ex!
In any case...PLEASE know that you are WAY GREAT and that you don't need this loser. And you're in MA for a reason! (Btw, hubby and I lived there for years and I went to college there!) You never know...you're true match could be there...and you're gonna miss him Even if he's not...give MA a chance. Go hang out at the Public Gardens. It's GORGEOUS there! Bring some music to listen to and lay out...or go shopping...whatever you like to do. Colpey's a fun place to go shopping. There's tons to do in Boston...at least you're not in a boring city...
You must be in a ton of pain right now. And I'm NOT trying to belittle that. You may not be able to be happy right waya...or go hang out...and that's okay. Give yourself time to adjust. It takes time to heal...sometimes lots of it. Bu you WILL heal and I have faith in you and your decision to move MA. I think you're great!
Keep posting and let us kno how everyting is going for you!
With love,
Ruchie
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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