How to Tell People
#343263 - 03/14/09 08:22 PM
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I was on this forum a few years ago, but I drifted away for a while. I'm back now with hopes of being able to improve my IBS symptoms, but first I have the question of how to approach/explain the issue with my friends and boyfriend. We've been talking about taking trips this summer, but I am far too worried about attacks and embarrassing situations for these ostensibly fun and exciting plans to seem feasible. I also have Social Anxiety Disorder, which exacerbates the issue and makes me feel increasingly embarrassed and worried about my digestive troubles and how they impede me from being able to live a free, carefree life.
I feel very hopeless sometimes, like I'm letting this problem run my life and I think that being able to be honest with my friends and boyfriend about it will help, but I fear how they may react. It's amazing how widespread the problem is, yet so few people have even heard of it, let alone understand it.
Please help! How did you manage to tell your loved ones about this and how did they react?
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My issues didn't start until after the birth of my son but I was very embarresed to tell my husband for awhile and then it just seemed so much easier to let him know just exactly how bad the situation was and it relieved alot of the stress of trying to act like it wasn't a big deal. Now that he knows I am so comfortable talking to him about it and whenever we do go out of town or I am having issues he is sooooo supportive and there for me. If that means talking to me when I need someone to talk to or running errands on a day I really can't due to stomach issues or finding me the nearest bathroom right away he does it. Also alot of my friends know cause I just got tired of trying to hide it and so far they have all been very understanding thanks goodness. So just sit them down and explain it to them I think it will relieve alot of the anxiety and stress when you are around them and make things somewhat easier for you in situations. I hope the best for you.
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IBS-D
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It was so obvious to my partner that telling him wasn't an issue. Honesty is the best policy as once they know your friend and BF are going to be much more understanding about accommodating your IBS.
If anxiety is exacerbating your symptoms try the hypno CDs. They really helped me get by fears about leaving the house under control.
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Stable IBS D
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I know where you are coming from. I have always found it difficult to talk about anything vaguely personal, and there are still very few people I have actually explained my IBS to properly, although most people that know me are vaguely aware of some health problem that makes my eating habits rather unusual! But I agree with others that being honest is for the best with our nearest and dearest - our friends and family are people who love us and who want us to be happy and healthy, so their first reaction would probably be one of sympathy and concern. And it's not our fault that we have this illness! I think we have a right to be able to talk about if we want to and to get the same support as any other person who has an illness. I know I'm not exactly practicing what I preach - but anyway, I wish you the best, i'm sure your BF and friends will be understanding.
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I just laid it out there for them. I understand your anxiety and feeling of hopelessness.
I had to be hospitalized for the impaction in my colon, and then, pretty much everyone new. My fiance, his parents, my parents, and my friends came to visit me in the hospital while they were running tests, so they got the full -on deal.
I guess in the South no one really pays that much attention, or they don't let that kind of stuff bother them. We are all supposed to be so proper Southern Belles and all, but the truth is, we are just like everybody else, and YES WE ARE REDNECKS!!! I am a redneck and I'm not ashamed of it, or I wouldn't be who I am.
The best thing to do is just tell them. If they love you, they will understand and try to help and comfort you in any way possible. Now, I am not ashamed to talk about it to anyone. It is a disorder that I have to live with just like someone has to live with thyroid diseases or some other kind of disorder. When people ask me questions, I am glad to answer. I feel like I know something about something that they don't, kinda makes me feel important in a weird kinda way.
Hope this helps!! Hang in there! Go on vacation, just make sure to mark the rest areas on the route you are taking, and take safe foods to eat while on the road.
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IBS-C, Gas, Bloating, HURTING!
I'm married and it's so wonderful!
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If you find it hard to tell them face to face then try writing down how it makes you feel,what you go through with it, and what things you know of right now that trigger an attack. Then make copies at give them that. No one has ever had anything negative to say to me regarding my IBS other than they will never fully understand it until they walk in my shoes. Sometimes writing things down is a easier way to break the ice.
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IBS-D, GAD (general anxiety disorder), Major Recurrent Depression, GERD (gastric reflux disease), Hiatal Hernia, PTSD
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The cds work.They helped me go on a trip this past summer with little to no anxiety issues or bowel issues.If you get them now,they will begin working before you make any plans and I took my cds with me and listened to them at the campsite while everyone else went for a walk.
They really were a life saver!!
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IBS-D since 1999...mostly stable..i do cheat too.Bad me.
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With people I don't know that well I just call it "stomach problems" and they just know that I feel sick when I eat certain foods.
With better friends I tell them exactly what it is. It's hard because it is a bit embarassing but I find once you are open with it, people talk about their own stomach issues (and many people have some) a lot more openly and then it becomes a very open environment.
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I am training for a Sprint Triathlon- Check out my Blog!
http://redsoxcap.blogspot.com/
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