Feeling Trapped!
#342429 - 02/21/09 08:37 AM
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I really care about my bf..he wants better things in life,we both work at mcdonalds right now..he said I need to not let my ibs stop me from getting a better job,I told him then I have to work 5-11pm..he said no business is gonna change their work hours or bow down to me. My ibs is bo bad..if I don't do my daily routine even once,I feel worse and the next day..I feel my bf needs to find someone who can not be a burden,go to college or have a better job..I can't even learn to drive,I can't take the time out of my schedule its so bad.Just getting my paycheck in the bank and getting right back home is like 15mins in my day and its really hard to even do that. Hes the kind of guy who wants better things,better job,a family..Well I'm certainly not having kids..I don't want to and I refuse to stop my medicines and go through even more discomfort..I feel he needs more than someone who gets meager paychecks and sits locked in a room relaxing and stuck on the toilet all day just so they can make it to work a few hours..but at the same time It would be really hard for me to let him go.
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I don't know if this is going to help but here's my two pence worth.
To start is your BF actually asking to leave you? If he isn't don't feel you need to let him go. He's an adult and he does know his own mind.
Also you seem to react to a lot of things by saying it can't be done. If you keep doing this then your life will never change since you've already defeated yourself at the start.
1) Some businesses do need workers for the later shift. For example call centres or late night coffee shops. So it is possible to find something in the evening. You need to start a serious job search and in the mean time be the best and most indispensable employees at MacDonalds. That way you will earn yourself a good reference which can take you on to better things.
2) MacDonalds is a excellent employer and I know a few people who have done very well there. Don't write it off as a dead end job.
3) Why are you assuming that this is the way your life will always be? There are many people on these boards (Heather included) who have been in real dire straits and have gotten better.
4) You don't mention how you eat. Are you getting enough fibre in your diet. You could start with taking bebefiber as it's readily available at most pharmacies.
5) What do you do to relax? Trying to and forcing yourself to relax rarely works.
6) Exercise is important to help ease constipation and the more vigorous the better. it doesn't have to mean going outside - you can do it at home with a video or a itunes download.
a
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Stable IBS D
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I take fibercon,usually the daily maximum dose..sometimes just twice a day. No,he's not asking me to leave..but I'd be a burden anywhere I live..as during the day,I really want to be left alone..I find it way more relaxing drinking my tea in my room with the door shut in the quiet,I have a tv,my own computer..I'm not fun during the day..I can get crabby twards people as I really don't feel good. Whoever I live with,will always have to have be well off..I live at my dad's..so I pay for all my medicines,and my bc prescription..anything else I want and need I pay for. My bf says I need to rule it,instead of it ruling me..Well I need to talk to him..because anytime I don't do my daily routine..It gets worse and I need to at least be able to feel ok and work at least 5-11pm. He upset me and made me cry when he was like,at our age windows of oportunity will start to close. He asked where I saw myself in 20years..I thought,"hopefully with you,cuz I never want you to go from me" but I didn't say it..AS we were talking I kept trying not to cry and eventually did,I told him I didn't want to talk about it anymore because it was going to put me in a really bad mood and that I'd finish talking about it thursday when he came over,my day off.
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It sounds to me like you're in a nasty situation that's just going round and round. It's horrible feeling completely helpless and worthless, but you can change things for the better.
Other than having the added fibre in your diet, what do you actually eat during the day? I know McDonald's is a great employer but if you're eating the food while you're working then you're potentially in a destructive job.
From your posts it seems as though you're very down on yourself psychologically. Being in pain most of the time really takes a toll on your self esteem. Have you ever considered talking to a counsellor or somebody like that about how you feel? Personally I find it so useful being able to let out all my frustration and anger in front of somebody who isn't emotionally involved in my life. Seeing my psychologist always helps me feel better about myself.
The physical and emotional sides of IBS go together - if you take control over what you eat then you'll feel more empowered. Similarly, if you start thinking positively then you'll feel less stressed and your bowel will be happier. I realise that saying "think positive" is much easier than actually doing it (believe me, I've been there) but if you take one tiny little step at a time, you'll get there.
Take care of yourself first and foremost. I bet your boyfriend wishes he could do anything to make you feel better and he'll appreciate you taking time to look after yourself.
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kat
IBS-A + gas and bloating
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yesterday my bf was talking about his kids playing video games with another guys kids..he doesn't have kids yet..but I know he wants kids..but I don't...Ibs is so terrible I would never let myself have kids as I have to take care of myself all day. I just don't want kids.I know this is selfish,but I don't want to get stretch marks,or saggy boobs,ever. WEll when he comes over today..I'll tell him that my ibs gets worse when I don't follow my daily routine and if I didn't,I wouldn't be able to even have a job. I'll tell him if I wasn't trying I woldn't have a job because even when I go to work,I still feel bad.
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That is another awful lot of fiber supplement to take. Especially if you suddenly increase your dose from one day to the next. A rapid rise in SF can actually make you feel worse.
I suspect you actually IBS D (it doesn't have to be liquid stool and it's more the frequency that matters) and the fiber is making the stool to soft to pass hence the struggle to go.
That amount of SF would also create a lot of matter in the colon which may be why you need to go a lot because the fibre is providing so much bulk. Try cutting back on your dose.
I know you don't want to change your routine but the one you have just now isn't allowing you to live an normal life so it's time for a change.
Please stop defeating your self before you even try to make a change. You negate a lot of things because you automatically think it won't work.
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Stable IBS D
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the stool isn't too soft,the amount I've been taking,makes it a good consistency. I need the bulk..thats why I take it..I'll see how today's stools go,and maybe just cut back to half the daily dose.
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I've been eating heathers old fashioned banana pie from her recipe book,orange glazed chicken with mushrooms from her book,baked lays chips,light soy milk and rice milk,soy chese,bread just sf safe breads.I ate alot of dum dum suckers..oops,I thought they were ok,but made out of canola oil,probly lots of IF..and theres artificial flavors which aren't good..fat free turkey sandwich meat with only a slice of soy cheese and small slice of tomato..Don't feel good,so bloated and messed up today.
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Looking at your meals I don't see a lot of IF. You need this to help move things through the colon. Try gradually increasing the amount you have. I normally get it from oatmeal, rice and berries in smoothies.
The suckers won't contain IF (theres no plant matter in them) but the sweeteners will mess you up. I also have problems with baked chips as there's still a lot of fat in there. Soy milk also makes me gassy so I stick with rice milk.
Do you keep a food diary?
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Stable IBS D
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Things are moving just fine..My side felt really uncomfortable and full..I took a big one and still feel I'll go at least once or twiwce more. I thought oatmeal was SF? I heard rice was SF? In heather's book it said baked lays were safe. Oh I eat captain crunch,rice check,honeycomb,corn pops. I wish the suckers weren't bad,I enjoy the watermelon,coconut,root beer,cotton candy flavors..I try not to eat mcdonalds food..but don't always suceed..So I chew a piece of gum to keep my mouth busy.
I hate when people want things from me,like pretty much telling me to be somewhere with them at a certain time..I told them thats a really bad time of day and I need to function so I can go to work..I don't hang out with anyone besides talking to people 5 days a week at work and seeing my bf 1 or 2 days when I'm off work,he's at my house. I got tv with cable,dvd player,computer,some video games in my room.
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Since my ibs is way out of wack right now.there's nothing more important to me now than taking control of my life. I'm trying my hardest to follow the diet and see how much I can inprove.It's so hard when there's so many other problems going on in my life right now to have to physically feel sick and drained cuz other problems are draining enough. In the next month,or 2 or 3 I'll be purchasing some nintendo ds games to keep me busy and tune out everyone else thats here all day,especially my sister's boyfriend,and my parents..I find them all to be close minded and selfish.
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