Need help with calming down and dealing with my boss
#339816 - 12/21/08 09:07 PM
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Hi everyone, first off I wanted to thank Heather and the family (that's everyone who posted helpful advice here) for the books, the cheat sheet and diet ideas.
My question involves lifestyle changes and how to apply them so that I can resolve an ongoing scheduling issue at work. I hope this is the right forum for that. Basically, I've been working a customer service job for almost 3 years and it involves a lot of sitting and sometimes it's stressful. I tend not to exercise that much which I know is bad but I like to sit in a warm apartment or office as sitting is when I often feel at peace with my bowels..or at least inside I'm in control and have a washroom a few steps away. However, lately as it's gotten colder, I find myself going outside less (I'm also quite thin and don't have much fat to insulate my bones)...and it's gotten to the point where I stay up too late (not tired enough,wound up I guess) and this is aggravating my IBS symptoms (mostly have IBS-C until I'm in a rush to leave, then it becomes IBS-D and urgency).
I finally revealed my "secret" to my immediate supervisors (that I've been diagnosed with IBS-and therefore have trouble controlling my start times-often late). My manager told me today that he wants me to prepare a summary for the past 2 months of all my start times, if I was late, how many minutes late and the reason. P.S. I work part time.
I just checked and I've been on time once in the past 27 shifts! Other times have been between 10 minutes and up to 3 hours late. I've called in sick once and otherwise had 1 personal day off. I try to wash my hands whenever I can to help minimize getting colds..and so far that's been fairly successful.
Anyway, since my boss asked me to summarize my attendance record for the past 2 months and it looks bad...how would you suggest I present the data? Would you only indicate the days you were late by 30 minutes or more? When I sat down to talk to him, he asked if I thought I was late 20, 30, 50% of the time? Well, to be totally honest, the % is over 90%! And I know if those are the stats he reads, it's almost certain I'll get the boot (I can't imagine any employer overlooking that).
Any ideas? This stress is something I really don't need as a new week is around the corner. I'm also working over the holidays.
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I'd be honest with him but frame it as, "Boy, I knew I was having trouble but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten." Then go on to explain what you're going to do to fix the problem. You can talk about how you've found a food-based program you think will help in the long run but you also need a clear statement of what you're going to do right now to make sure you get to work on time.
For me, knowing I have to be somewhere at a particular time or else tends to stir up stress that aggravates my IBS. The more time I can leave myself to get where I'm going the better my tummy does. So - although I know it's a terrible thing to contemplate - my suggestion is to plan to get to work early. Really early, like maybe an hour before you're due there. With any luck this will be only a temporary situation until the diet helps get things under control and you stop feeling so panicky about work.
Whatever plan you come up with for getting to work on time, tell your boss what it is and suggest - before he can - that the two of you meet again in a month (or two or three) to evaluate how you're doing now that you've realized how bad the problem has been and resolved to fix it.
HTH.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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PS
#339822 - 12/22/08 06:52 AM
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Sand
Reged: 12/13/04
Posts: 4490
Loc: West Orange, NJ (IBS-D)
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If you decide being dishonest about how often you've been late is a better approach, be very, very sure there's no way your boss can know the truth.
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[Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. - Sandra Boynton]
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Sand makes some very good points. I'd also offer to make back any time you lose by being late but aiming to be in work early is also a good strategy.
Make sure to get to bed on time as well - maybe do aerobics or yoga from a DVD or check out itune for free podcasts.
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Stable IBS D
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