REPORTING IN - 11/30/05
#227821 - 11/28/05 03:49 PM
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Shell Marr
Reged: 08/04/03
Posts: 14959
Loc: Seattle, WA USA
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Everyone post their report for what you did on 11/30 here....
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www.facebook.com/shell.marr
www.myspace.com/shellmarr
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ugh. yucky day. got my period, ate lots of not-very-good food (chocolate-covered biscotti bites, mostly), then went to the theatre with my dad (which was awesome), but started feeling ibs-iffy during the show (a couple of bites of his gelato at dinner probably didn't help), which i *hate*, and hasn't happened in a while (feeling an attack coming in a theatre). made it through the show fine (with the help of some immodium), but it still feels lame. and now i'm all *hormonal* and *emotional*, and tired and crampy... and, obviously, very much in the mood to complain. planning on sticking to safe, carby, crunchy foods today - when i'm like this i crave textury foods, so i've got a tupperware of fruity pebbles to keep me going, and a spiru-tein shake, since it's so rich. (also staying off the new flax oil caps till i'm more settled - no need to add fat.) hopefully i'll have tonight free and make it to the gym. i'm so frustrated that this is coming right after thanksgiving - i'd really wanted to get back on track, but it just hurts more to fight against this. i figure i burn about 2100 calories in a day, so even my 'bad' days are under that, so i'm fine in the long run, but i want to get back to making progress. hopefully my mind'll clear in a day or two. but back to yesterday...
white spelt w/ jam (my new pre-work bit-of-breakfast plan - i like it)
1/2 c apple sauce
2 ff devil's food cookies (50cal ea, fyi)
5 biscotti bites
small bowl of spinach linguini w/ fake meatballs & tomato sauce
quaker take heart oatmeal w/ ff soy milk
3 biscotti bites
3 werther's
baked doritos
a few more biscotti bites (4? jesus. they had these out at work, and i just kept going back...)
small piece of bread w/ roasted pepper spread
pasta in white wine sauce (it came w/ veggies, too, but after all the junk i wasn't very hungry, so i only ate a few bites. i took the leftovers to bring home, but the box was leaking sauce so i had to throw it out. i *hate* wasting food.)
a few bites of caramel gelato (big mistake. and my dad was encouraging me to eat more of it - it's not at all his fault, but i wish he took my ibs more seriously, like my mom. but she knows more about it and heard more from me when it was bad, so.)
fruity pebbles w/ ff soy milk (when i got home around midnight i was *hungry*, so i ate.)
sigh.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
Edited by jaime g (12/01/05 07:54 AM)
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*bowl of shredded oats with strawberries and soy milk, tea
*half plain bagel with tuna salad, spring mix salad with chickpeas
*soy yogurt and banana
*rice crackers with peanut butter
Not too bad...I think I may have OD'd a little bit on the peanut butter last night, but I seem to be ok for the time being...
Hope you're all well,
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Julia
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Okay--I'm back on the Immodium Advanced and feel a zillion times better!
Had this bizarre/huge/out of the blue craving for CAULIFLOWER & BROCCOLI (honoured it, safely!)
I don't go out of my way to eat major fiber--it just sort of happens. I think, though, vegetarians do eat more fiber. Still honouring self--if I'm not in the mood, no force feeding.
Yesterday's food:
saltines
purple potatoe
pureed cauliflower ("faux-tatoes")
zucchini slaw (cooked, but eaten cold)
homemade soup (Imagine Asian chicken stock, carrots, 1/4 c. dry noodles, celery, broccoli, shitatke mushrooms)***4 bowls, but not in one sitting! *** (next time, though, I'll use rice/rice noodles as I prefer the texture) Used Retrograde/Laurels' technique)
2 fortune cookies.
 Kate.
Edited by Wind (12/01/05 09:05 AM)
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Luna Bar
Crispix
tortilla
strawberry soy yogurt smoothie
Luna Bar
toast
garlic, mushrooms, & carrots in chicken broth
mashed potatoes
Soy Dream frozen dessert
toast
Didn't eat very well today. Was busy most of the morning and afternoon, and I forgot to eat anything between 10 am and 3:00pm. Because I've been feeling so good and being stable I want to do things and enjoy life. But the truth is I've been having problems sleeping since Sunday night, and Wednesday night I only slept two hours because of pain, pain, and more pain, everywhere.  And I've been pushing myself to do "normal" things, physical things, that my body isn't ready for. So it caught up with me, and now I feel gross. I'm so tired, I don't even know if I'm making sense and a Bjork poster above my computer is spinning. Wheeeeee.
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Maria,
I hope the pain dissipates. Take care of you.
P.S. You ate awesomely. Often, when there's pain, we eat less or differently because the pain is so THERE/absorbing. Also, pain killers tend to numb the appetite (I'm not sure if you had any.)
Today's another day. Different days have different needs/desires/moods. I always say re: food/food issues--today's a new day.
Kate.
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Your support means a lot!
No, I don't have any pain killers; my doctor has never prescribed any for me and I don't even know what to ask for. I haven't had luck with anti-spasmodics, Tylenol does nothing, and Ibuprofen just adds to other problems. Plus, the pain isn't only IBS pain - it sort of all over. I've had enough blood tests to know it's not due to any other condition and maybe the insomnia and pain is fibromyalgia, but I don't even know how to bring that up to my doctor when I see her! And I just don't know if I can deal with another syndrome right now, you know. I figure since the pain isn't constant and not always debilitating, I have to find out other ways to help myself. Right now it's heat therapy: heat pads, tea, hot showers, lying down in front of the heater, looking at glossy pics of hot guys.
I had to call in sick today, so I'm feeling guilty and frustrated about that. And then I get angry because why should I feel guilty about feeling so bad? Anyway, aside from the guilt, emotionally I feel good and positive about life in general. I have hope! The pain is slowly going away - I'm just tired and bored.
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i know you don't want to add another syndrome, but it does sound like it could be fibro. (i don't have fibro, but my best friend does, so i have a second-hand experience with it.)
whether you get diagnosed or not, you have whatever it is, fibro or not. being able to name it means being able to do something about it - even fibro can be manageable. you have nothing to lose by bringing it up with your doctor, and there's a real possibility she can help. 'not always debilitating' doesn't mean 'okay to live with.' that's not something you should have to bear.
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jaime
ibs-a (mostly d) // vegetarian
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Everything you've said is exactly what I would have told a friend if she were in my situation. And it's what I've told myself before, but there's still a part of me that's scared to name it, to prove that it exists in me. I'm afraid that I'll be defined by these illnesses and I'll lose myself in them.
I've always been one of those people who says "I'm fine" no matter how I'm feeling, so when I see my doctor I'm usually upbeat and positive, making jokes about IBS. It took me years before I could talk to anyone, family, friends, bf, about IBS. It took several years to finally admit to myself and my doctor that I was having panic attacks and was slowly isolating myself from people. I know I'm only hurting myself by downplaying my symptoms, but asking for help is the hardest thing for me to do in all areas of life. I'm used to being the helper, not the helpless.
I appreciate your frankness and honesty, Jaime. It helps when someone else can put into words the truth of a situation.
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Maria,
You're bagged. You're doing the right thing. Rest, etc. I like the "hot guy pic." option, too. Journal, log re: symptoms.
I doubt it's all in your head. It's one of those challenging to diagnose things. How receptive is your M.D.?
Knowledge provides options/power.
Kate.
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Maria
#228855 - 12/02/05 02:28 PM
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It does sounds like fibro *gentle hugs* How are you, today?
Sending loads of love and PAIN-FREE days/momnets your way
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Formerly known as Ruchie
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The best advice I can give you is to tell you that you should at least get in to see your regular doctor, if going to a GI doc makes you so anxious. I can't diagnose your symptoms, of course, but since they've suddenly started in the past two weeks I think seeing a doctor wouldn't hurt. I think any change in your health status (phsyical or mental) warrants a visit to the doc. I'm not saying there's anything seriously wrong with you, because maybe you're just suffering the stress of the holidays, the change in the weather. Still, for peace of mind, it's better to get checked out.
I just saw my regular PCP in November and have been seeing her regularly since dealing with the IBS flare-up in July/Aug 04 and anixety. I go back in January or February for my physical and at that time I'm going to talk to her about the possiblity of having fibromyalgia. I think one of my fears of seeing a doctor is that they'll dismiss me as a "hysterical woman." Fortunately, I've had more good doctors, who listen and care, than bad.
What exactly is your fear when related to doctors? I know it's really hard to take that first step, but the doctor is there to listen and consult with and offer a solution or a way to manage whatever is bothering you. When you make an appointment let whoever's making your appointment know that you have a real fear of doctors and let your doctor know once you get in to meet him/her. Prepare yourself for how the visit will go: you'll talk about what's wrong, you and the doc will discuss possible causes. They may ask for bloodwork and some other tests. If you're like me, when I get nervous I forget half of what I want to say; so write down your symptoms and questions on a piece of paper that you can refer to during the consultation. Also, it doesn't hurt if you can get a friend or family member to come along with you for support. Let them know ahead of time what you want to talk to the doctor about so if you freeze up in the dr's office, they can jump in and get you back on track.
I don't know if I've been much help here, Marci, but I truly hope you start feeling better. Have you ever been diagnosed with or treated for an anxiety or panic disorder? That's a hard place to start, but I know you can make to the doctor's office!  C'mon, if you were working out at 4 or 5 am  - you can do anything!
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I'm sorry you are going through this and I feel your pain. I was like this in 2003. I knew I was sick and I wouldn't go to the doctor for nothin'!!! My husband came in the door one day and picked me up off the couch and took me to the walk-in clinic. I hate doctors and I can't stand going to my appts, either. I have major anxiety attacks when I get in there and have to pop imodium/pepto/anti-nausea stuff. All of it!!! I always freak out when I go to the doctor, too. It's hard.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that you have to go to a doctor. You have to make that decision on your own based on whether or not you can deal with the pain or HOW MUCH LONGER you can deal with the pain, rather. My mom kept telling me that I had to go and I wouldn't listen to her, either. I would have rather died, too. But, my husband wouldn't have it. He made me go and as much as I hated it.....I'm glad that I did it and got it over with. Now, at least I know exactly what I'm dealing with instead of just sitting here worrying and wondering if I had IBS or cancer.....
I did alot of praying, too. I told my family, friends, everyone that I was just going to continue to pray and if it was in His will to heal me than He would!! "Until then, I will just lay here, read my bible and pray." I don't know why I'm soo terrified of doctors. I cancelled my appt last week, too. I don't need to go back, anymore. They're done trying to help me anyway. They want to do that hida scan on my gallbladder, which sounds like the test that made you pass out, and I don't want to do it. I am afraid to do it and I don't think it's my gallbaldder, anyway. My husband, of course, is fixin' to force me though. He got mad at me today about it.....CRAP!!!
Good Luck to you and I will pray for you, regardless of what you decide to do!
Hope you get to feeling better soon!!
Michelle 
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IBS-D. Hiatal Hernia, GERD
Unstable
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That's a good first step! But if I were as scared as doctors are you are, I would take it even slower. First, I would go in for a consultation only and during that time talk about my fears/concerns/questions. Then talk about testing and the specifics of diagnostic tests. That's why I suggested a regular doctor first, because they would be able to do a general assessment of your health (physical, mental, and emotional) before having to do any invasive testing.
Have you thought about going to a counselor first, to deal with your fear of doctors, so that you can eventually be able to see a doctor without feeling panic?
With a GI, you would only be discussing your guts, your IBS, etc, and it seems to me that what you're going through lately doesn't only have to do with your gut. But that's only my opinion, of course! You should only do what you're comfortable with, ready for, and able to push yourself to do.
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IBS-D. Hiatal Hernia, GERD
Unstable
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Your mom sounds just like my parents when I was around 19. "Everything can be handled within the family" is a mantra I grew up with and I remember feeling guilty just talking to my friends about things going on in my family. Well, if you're not able to see a counselor right now, how about a clergyman? If you and your family are religious, perhaps your mom would feel more comfortable if you spoke with a priest or minister. They're free and you could also talk to them without your mom knowing if you'd feel she'd be against that as well.
Are you able to leave the house and go out? If you can make it to the library, there's a couple of books I'd recommend you check out that might help you understand your fear of doctors (I'll provide links to the books on Amazon so you can read their descriptions): Fear & Other Uninvited Guests and The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.
I hope I'm not going too far in suggesting these alternatives to you, but I think I understand how you're feeling. When you decide it's time to see a doctor let us know or if you have anymore questions just post them. Please know you're not alone and, as you said, just talking about the IBS and anxiety can alleviate some of that stress. Take care!
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